11 Things A Man Who Truly Loves You Will Never Say Out Loud
He knows that words have meaning and doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize the relationship.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Your partner is usually the person closest to you. You rely on them for support, transparency, and assistance in many aspects of life. This interdependent relationship means that you have each made yourself vulnerable to the other's words and actions. Deciding whether to speak life into your partner or to tear them down will make or break the relationship.
When a man truly loves a woman, he is aware of the power of his words. He knows that the way he talks to her will either build her up or break her down. There are certain things that, if said, can do irreparable damage, and he aims to avoid them at all costs. If a man is thoughtful and careful of the way he addresses you verbally, he truly loves you.
Here are 11 things a man who truly loves you will never say out loud
1. 'You're too emotional'
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A man who truly loves you will never discount your feelings. He respects your point of view, even if he doesn't fully understand it. Validating your emotions without judging you or telling you how you should be feeling, according to him, is his default setting. He tends to listen to understand you more instead of responding and rebutting.
He will not belittle you and make you feel as if you're being dramatic or doing too much simply because you express yourself. The man who loves you from the bottom of his heart wants you to feel seen and heard. He is your safe space, a place where you can be vulnerable and authentic without fear.
2. 'You should be more like..."
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Comparison is the thief of joy. It leads to feelings of inadequacy, dissatisfaction, and gives you a negative self-perception. A man who forces you to feel inferior to others does not love you at all. It is a tactic to keep you working toward an unattainable goal — his insatiable satisfaction.
The man who loves you without condition accepts and appreciates you for exactly who you are. He has no desire to mold you into or compare you to anyone else because he sees you as the cream of the crop. You might not be perfect, but you are perfect for him.
3. 'That's your problem, not mine'
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What is the point in joining with a partner to do life together, only to remain unsupported by them? A man who really loves you sees your problems as shared challenges, and not something you are left to navigate on your own. He has fully integrated himself into your world and made your issues his issues.
True love means standing by your partner in their time of need. He will not turn his back on you when things get too hard or leave you to face your fears alone. Life is full of ups and downs. There will be good days and bad days. The man who is invested in you and sees you in his future is ready to ride the waves alongside you.
4. 'You're lucky I'm still here'
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What's worse than being with a man who believes with his entire soul that he is a prize to be won by you? He wants you to go to the end of the earth to keep him and to be grateful for his mere presence, even if he treats you poorly. That man only loves one person, and it isn't you.
In a healthy, balanced relationship, both partners see each other as gifts and are appreciative. The man who loves you sees your value without you explaining it. He knows your worth and understands that you are not the type of woman to stand for just anything. He feels lucky to still be there and will do what it takes to stay.
5. 'I don't have time for this right now'
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Some people just do not know how to deal with conflict effectively. If things get too tense, they become avoidant and divert their attention to less challenging things. Having your thoughts dismissed because a man says he doesn't have time to hear you out is a red flag telling you that he might not love you as much as he says he does.
While your man might be genuinely busy, he won't use that as an excuse to avoid serious conversations or to meet your emotional needs. He understands the complexity of human beings and knows that every day won't be rainbows and butterflies. Conflict can be a healthy part of a relationship if done right. He is willing to go through it to get to a better place because he truly loves you.
6. 'You're overreacting'
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Men and women have a way of shutting each other down when they don't want to deal with each other's emotions. A woman might be told that she is overreacting, while a man could be called "sassy" to make him feel his emotions are invalid or over-the-top. Both are ways of silencing your partner and brushing issues under the rug that should be brought into the open for discussion.
If you are with a man who truly loves you, he will empathize with and validate your experiences. He has compassion and would never be dismissive of your concerns. No matter how uncomfortable it is, he allows you to feel how you feel without trying to correct you and punishing you for having the audacity to speak up.
7. 'I make the money, so I make the rules'
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After I had my last son, my former spouse wanted me to become a stay-at-home mom, something I had never done in my life. He promised he would keep us financially stable, and I agreed. In no time at all, he was staying out later and shirking his household responsibilities. I confronted him on a Friday, and he told me that he paid the bills, so he would do whatever he wanted to. By the following Thursday, I had secured a new job and vowed to never rely on a man in that way again.
To men who don't have a healthy mindset around relationship dynamics, taking care of their woman is not a sign that he wants her to be in her soft girl era. He just wants control of every aspect of her life and the freedom to have her at home while he does whatever he feels like doing outside of the home. If a man truly loves you, he values partnership and mutual respect over control and dominance.
8. 'Why can't you just be happy?'
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People make it seem as if you can turn happiness on and off like a light switch. They want to believe that you simply decide to be happy and, voila! You are. Yes, being happy is a choice, but that decision requires that you understand the actions you have to take to get there. Nothing makes a sad person more depressed than being asked why they can't just be happy.
When a man loves a woman, he understands that happiness is complex and nuanced. What makes one person ecstatic might do absolutely nothing for another. You shouldn't be shamed for your emotional struggles because they are a part of life and are placed there to help you grow. A person who looks at you through loving eyes would never demand toxic positivity from you.
9. 'You always ruin everything'
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Dealing with a person who always sees the bad in you and never the good is not a recipe for a beautiful love story. It's like being the passenger in a crappy car, destined for disaster. Every issue that comes up somehow seems to turn into something that is your fault. No one who has a deep desire to make you feel loved would do that to you.
He will communicate issues without assigning blame or fault. He knows that there are two sides to every story — yours, his, and the truth. Usually, no one is 100% responsible for the demise of a relationship, and a loving partner seeks to understand and be better, not to cause emotional destruction.
10. 'You're lucky I love you'
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When someone feels that you are lucky, not worthy of the love and attention they are giving you, they see you as less than them. They might view you as otherwise unlovable and feel like you should kiss the ground and thank the heavens for the love you are receiving, even though you don't deserve it. That's not love at all.
Love is not something that a man who sees your value wields as a weapon. His love is not conditional or transactional, and he would never want you to believe that his genuine feelings are a fluke. You are lucky to be loved so deeply by each other, and he shows gratitude for you each and every day.
11. 'I don't care'
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When it comes to the opposite gender, there is nothing I try to avoid more than a nonchalant man. If you don't care, I don't care, and where does that leave us? Two people who can easily do without each other, and that's not the kind of romantic energy I need in my life. I want to care and be cared about, and so do most people.
Even when frustrated, a man who loves you deeply does care and wants you to know that. He might not have the right thing to say, but he would never want to say anything that makes you feel unimportant. He wants you to feel seen and heard because what you have to say matters to him. If a man can dismissively tell you that he doesn't care, tell him to not care over there, far away from you.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
