11 Small Daily Decisions That Set Truly Happy People Apart, According To Psychology
Smile, smile, smile in the face of adversity.
J. Balla Photography | Unsplash When everything aligns, love of life envelopes you. You have all you need. Then the inevitable storm hits, and you're on an upside-down teeter-totter of chaos that leaves you trying to find the pieces of yourself and regain your once-happy life.
Every effort leads to more fractures, fresh losses, and unforeseen crises. A return to a happy self seems futile. Chaos and crisis become habitual. However, amid life's struggles, there are daily decisions that cultivate true happiness, even when facing adversity.
Here are 11 small daily decisions that set truly happy people apart, according to psychology:
1. They choose happiness, even on hard days
Motivated to rise from despair, I happened upon a quote from Mary Oliver. “This is your one and beautiful life. What will you do with it?” Struck by the urgency of the question, I imagined Ms. Oliver spoke directly to me, and I answered her with a roar,
“I will be happy. No matter the day, the situation, the adversity, I have been handed life, and I will breathe it, eat it, sleep it, laugh with it, and be happy”.
2. They set clear intentions for what matters most
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Balancing work and family while mediating disputes between three kids, I carved out six intentions that would guide me toward the happiness I craved:
- being worthy of blessing,
- cultivating a positive mindset,
- maintaining a healthy body/mind,
- making work meaningful,
- being responsible for my loved ones and,
- having fun and being fulfilled.
While my core areas included spirituality, mindset, health, work, relationships, and enjoyment, yours might differ. You may want to focus on other areas, such as parenting, finances, fitness, friendship, personality growth, and personal development. A 2005 study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin showed how achieving a goal requires a clear intention to start as well as specific intentions to complete the goal. So, choose the intentions that apply to your life now, then review them periodically, if needed.
3. They create systems that support their goals
I realized intentions or goals are futile without a supportive system. So, each intention was accompanied by the word "Therefore," creating a set of habits to ensure the desired result was happiness.
4. They intentionally practice kindness
Therefore, I committed to truth, kindness, and intentional love in every interaction, venturing into volunteer activities that transformed my life. The International Journal of Voluntary and Nonprofit Organizations explained the social, mental, physical, or general health benefits of volunteering.
5. They practice being positive
Therefore, I became vigilant against negativity, nurturing accurate and growth-oriented beliefs. A daily gratitude journal became my habit, focusing on seemingly insignificant things, bravery, and positive outcomes, as supported by a 2018 study in Behavioral Medicine that indicated there are "significant indirect effects of stress mindset on psychological wellbeing and perceived stress."
6. They take care of their body and mind
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Therefore, I set achievable standards for sleep, exercise, eating, and balancing life. Habits included a sleep routine, regular exercise, a balanced diet, and establishing boundaries for a healthy mind.
7. They make their work feel meaningful
Therefore, I enrolled in professional development courses, connected with colleagues, and crafted mantras about loving my work. Balancing work and play with shorter work hours became my cornerstone habit. A 2022 cross-sectional study of meaningful work and its relationship to well-being found that meaningful work was a significant factor in employee well-being when balanced with individual support.
8. They show up fully for their relationships
A 13-year longitudinal study in The Journal of Positive Psychology explored the interrelationship between emotional well-being and social connection to find a reciprocal effect where better well-being enhances social connections and social connections enhance well-being. Therefore, I prioritized connection, communication, stress management, and regular self-evaluation and accountability through a process I called "The check-in."
9. They schedule fun into each day
Therefore, I plan my week to include something new and enjoyable, maybe lunch or coffee dates, a phone or video call, and a variety of activities I once enjoyed or wanted to try.
With full disclosure, I hadn’t given much thought to my enjoyment through the child-rearing and career-building years and was alarmed at how little I thought about “me” and how natural it was to sideline my wants, hobbies, and creative needs. The intention to have fun and be fulfilled helps.
10. They nurture their happiness like it's a living thing
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The pursuit of happiness can be frustrating, leading to pleasure without fulfillment or meaning without enjoyment. I discovered happiness is not just a feeling but a byproduct of doing something else. Complimenting someone, being honest, exterminating negativity, getting a good night's sleep, and the freedom to roam your favorite store — these simple acts bring joy.
Happiness isn't a stroke of luck; it's a positive mantra, laughter, exercise, or a piece of dark chocolate. It's not something you catch and hold; it's a side effect of doing something good for yourself or being kind to others.
The Journal of Happiness Studies revealed that "many associations between individuals' personality and happiness levels are to some extent mediated by the strategies they use to increase their happiness--particularly, by affiliation, mental control, and direct attempts."
11. They smile like they mean it
In 1862, a French anatomist, Duchenne de Boulogne, found that the facial muscles involved with a smile (orbicularis oculi and zygomatic major) involuntarily triggered true feelings of joy. In other words, the simplest and most effective key to unlocking happiness is your beautiful smile.
Your smile has already gotten you a job, warmed a friend’s heart, won the “One,” and created more happiness than you know. So, smile intentionally to enjoy the hard things, the alarm, the workout, and the overdue tasks. Join me as we smile directly in the face of adversity.
Reta Faye Walker is a therapist who specializes in healing relationships. She offers one-on-one sessions, couples retreats, and courses to help couples get back on track.
