10 Subtle Signs Of A Good Man You Can Truly Build A Life With, According To Psychology
Signs you've found a rare, good man who can make it for the long-haul.
Wesner Rodrigues | Canva One of the biggest complaints women have is that men tend to slowly back away after they realize how strong and independent the woman they love is. There are so many genuine, caring, loving women out there who are strong and live their own lives.
Studies suggest that women value a partner's intelligence, ambition, and ability to provide resources. Pursuing a similar partner can promote a sense of security and social harmony. They have their hopes, dreams, and ambitions, but they want a good partner beside them as they accomplish all they set out to do. But it takes the right type of man to recognize and be comfortable with this type of woman.
Here are ten subtle signs of a good man you can truly build a life with, according to psychology:
1. He has his own goals and dreams
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If a couple is going to have one teammate who has big plans for their future, they’re going to need two teammates who have big plans. For both men and women, being with someone who is much less motivated in life than you are is going to cause tension in the relationship.
One will not understand why the other works so hard. He or she will not understand why their partner is up at 5 a.m. to go to the gym or run early morning errands. He or she will get aggravated when you have to put in extra hours on a Friday night instead of spending it on the couch.
A man who will be comfortable with a woman who is driven and ambitious will need to be on a similar path for himself in order to understand and appreciate her hustle. Otherwise, if he's reliant on her to make his dreams come true, it's not a healthy dynamic.
2. He's confident and secure
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A man who constantly needs reassurance or validation will likely not find what he needs if he pursues a woman who is strong and independent. She will be secure and confident in herself, and want the man she is with to be the same.
While she will likely show him love and affection — because she cares for him and wants him to feel loved — she will not constantly be reminding him of how much she needs him in her life. Because she doesn’t. And a confident man will realize and understand that.
A strong man will not expect to be needed by a woman of this caliber, but it is important to note that men still want to feel wanted and still need love and affection to feel valued in a relationship.
According to a 2015 study, independent women often prioritize their growth and goals. A partner who is confident and secure can provide a supportive environment that allows them to pursue their aspirations without feeling constrained or pressured.
3. He respects your privacy
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Women who are focused on their own mission and path in life are not taking time out of their day to look for validation from others. They are living in the moment and are too busy to bother caring what other people are thinking.
A man who is going to date or be with this type of woman has to work with her on what is kept between the two of them and what is exposed to the public. On social media, privacy is hard to come by. But for a relationship with a mature, independent woman to work in the long run, it still has to be made a priority.
4. He won't pacify you
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No man should ever be abrasive or disrespectful to the woman in his life, but honesty and integrity is still an important part of making a relationship work.
A man who is a ball of mush and is overly sensitive will never be able to hold the attention of a strong woman, because she will walk all over him and he will never give her the stability that she needs.
The type of man who will fit well with a confident, strong woman will know when to be flexible with her and when to stand his ground. He will make his wants and needs known, and she will respect him more for it.
Independent women often possess a strong sense of self-worth and are aware of their unique contributions to a relationship. A study by Bridgewater State University found they are more likely to seek partners who can provide genuine emotional support and understanding without attempting to suppress their individuality or opinions.
5. He's comfortable taking charge
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Just because a woman may be in charge from 9 to 5, Monday through Friday, doesn’t mean she wants the same responsibilities in a relationship. At the end of the day, many women still appreciate a man who is the man, and will make plans for them on date night.
She wants a man who still romances her. A man who is chivalrous and respectful. A man who understands that a woman can be independent but should still be treated like a lady.
A man who is comfortable being in control of a situation is just one of the major personality traits that make men the strongest, most valuable partners.
6. He's not possessive or jealous
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Possessive, overbearing men are kryptonite to strong women. Smothering or coming on too strong to this type of woman is the quickest way to ensure that you push her away immediately. She's busy and doesn’t need (nor want) her hand held constantly.
She works best with a man who lives his own life alongside hers, not one who tries to intertwine the two. He has his own identity separate from hers and allows her to be who she truly is, go out with who she wants, and live the way she desires.
Research suggests that finding a non-possessive and non-jealous partner, especially for independent women, can be a complex process. It involves understanding the root causes of possessiveness and requires open communication and boundary setting.
7. He's a strong communicator
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This doesn’t mean just knowing how to speak and express his feelings, it also means knowing how to listen and interpret her emotions as well.
Not all women are verbally open or affectionate, but they will show you how they feel in their own ways. It is important for a man to hear what the woman in his life doesn’t say, as well as what she does.
Men who are good communicators show that they are authentic, committed, and make incredible romantic partners.
8. He's never condescending
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When he compliments how great you are at something, the right kind of man will never end the sentence with, “You know, for a girl.” A man who can effectively build a relationship with an independent woman will see her exactly as she should be seen: as an equal.
This means respecting and valuing her opinions as well as openly telling her his own. It means being able to have deep, meaningful conversations and listening to her viewpoints.
It means never assuming she can’t teach you something new or show you new experiences; in fact, some of life’s most important lessons will come from her. Rather than putting her down for the qualities she has, he embraces them fully.
9. His support is unwavering
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As Mark Twain once said, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
This same concept applies to relationships. Men and women who are strong and secure in themselves will have no problem standing behind their partner when support is required. They will not betray your trust or discourage you from living the life you want to live.
The right type of man will know when to stand in front of his woman when she needs protection, behind her when she needs support, and beside her when she wants a teammate.
10. He has a great sense of humor
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Despite the hard outer shell some strong women display, they are still human beings who experience every emotion. Nobody wants to be stern or serious all the time, particularly those with high-pressure jobs or a stressful lifestyle.
A man who can lighten the mood at just the right times will not only be a great partner, but a great best friend. Because for many women, there's nothing more attractive than a good sense of humor.
Finding a balance that allows a relationship to flourish when two strong, independent people come together is tricky.
Men need to understand that they can be with a woman who lives her own life and not sacrifice any of their masculinity. And women need to understand that being strong and independent does not have to mean being overbearing or abrasive.
Men and women are both equally worthy of respect without needing to prove their dominance over each other.
The best teams are made up of people who fill the puzzle pieces of the other. Those who work well together and respect each other's strengths while balancing out their weaknesses. Love is a team sport, and with the right person by your side, you will always win the game.
James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach. He is a go-to expert on CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.
