11 Subtle Disappointments That Slowly Push A Woman Away
No matter how much she cares about a man, these disappointments add up until a woman feels like her only option is to leave.
Lady_Luck / Shutterstock When women love, they love hard. They are willing to put in all the effort they can to make her relationship work. Unfortunately, that is not always the case for men. While it can be hard for them to make themselves emotionally available the way a woman does, it doesn’t change the fact that their distance can push them away. Whether you are in a relationship or are going through the dating phase with a woman, if you are not doing enough to make her happy, she will be pushed away and eventually walk away from the situation.
Not putting enough effort into a relationship with a woman is arguably the easiest way to push her away. Failing to show up for dates, ignoring her text messages, and not dedicating enough time to her will disappoint her over time. I’m sure we have all been told, ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.’ Disappointment goes far. It can sometimes weigh more on a woman than anger does. If you are doing any of these things, she may be on her way out of the relationship because she is so sick of being constantly disappointed.
These are 11 subtle disappointments that slowly push a woman away
1. Not putting in enough effort
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Some men believe they can do the bare minimum for their partner and coast through their relationship. They know how little effort they can give her to maintain their partnership. He may be expecting her to deliver everything that he wants while giving her as little as he can.
Effort goes a long way in a relationship. Doing little things like bringing her home flowers for no reason or planning a special date can make a woman extremely happy. She’s not always looking for big, extravagant gifts or gestures. She just wants someone who will put in the effort that she deserves. When she doesn’t get it, she will be disappointed and pushed away.
2. Emotional unavailability
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Every woman wants to be in a relationship with someone comfortable letting their walls down and allowing them to emotionally connect. For men, especially, it can be difficult for them to let their guard down. While it’s something that plagues a lot of men, it’s no excuse. She needs to have an emotionally available partner.
“Someone who is emotionally available is able to express emotions in a healthy manner and form emotional attachments with people. On the other hand, someone who is emotionally unavailable may struggle with feeling the extent of their own emotions without shutting down,” says Sanjana Gupta for Verywell Mind. “People who are emotionally unavailable usually view conversations about hurt feelings, requests to change behavior, and discussions of their relationship dynamics as off-limits. Not only will they shut down, they might even get angry or find ways to blame the other person and make them feel like they are the problem, to displace focus from their own discomfort and limitations.”
3. Failing to celebrate her wins
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Have you ever landed your dream job? Worked up the ladder to land an amazing promotion? Got into your dream college? These are all exciting life moments. I know for me, the first person I tell these wins to is my partner. You want to talk to someone who will be as excited for you as you are. When a partner fails to celebrate the other’s successes, it is a disappointment.
There are few things more devastating than sharing something important with someone you love and having them bring no emotion to the conversation. A woman needs a man who is happy to share these moments with her. When he disappoints her by not caring about her victories, it’s clear that he doesn’t care enough about her. This behavior will push her away over time.
4. Not dedicating enough time to her
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Let’s face it. Life is busy, and it can be hard to manage everything that needs our attention. From our jobs to friends and family, keeping everyone happy can feel like an impossible task. This is especially harmful in a relationship. If a man is putting more effort into the world around him than his relationship, his partner will be disappointed. She will be pushed away slowly because she does not feel supported in her relationship.
“Effort in a relationship means commitment. When you put effort into a relationship, you are ready to become committed, selfless, expressive, caring, and understanding. You must be trustworthy and trust your partner in return,” says Sylvia Smith for Marriage.com. “Putting effort into a relationship means paying attention and listening to your partner, sending romantic love messages, helping your partner, problem-solving together, going on random dates, and planning vacations together.”
5. Passive-aggressive behavior
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Passive-aggressive behavior in a relationship can disappoint your partner to the point that she will be pushed away completely. This can look like stubbornness that eats away at her over time, or the man in her life playing the victim when he is the one hurting her feelings. It’s a difficult situation to be in. It can make her feel like her feelings do not matter to him.
“Passive-aggressive actions can range from the relatively mild, such as making excuses for not following through, to the very serious, such as sabotaging someone’s well-being and success,” says Preston Ni, M.S.B.A., for Psychology Today. “Most chronically passive-aggressive individuals have four common characteristics: They’re unreasonable to deal with, they’re uncomfortable to experience, they rarely express their hostility directly, and they repeat their subterfuge behavior over time.”
6. Avoiding difficult conversations
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No one wants to have a tough conversation. Unfortunately, life can throw curveballs. From dealing with the sudden loss of a friend or family member to feeling unhappy in a relationship. Things can be hard. When these moments occur, you need to be able to turn to your partner. If they are not willing to be there when times are tough, they will disappoint a woman. Instead of feeling comforted, she will be pushed away.
No one wants to deal with life’s lows. However, when you’re in a relationship, you have to be prepared to show up through tough times. A man who disappoints a woman by not stepping up when she needs him will lose her. She will be forced to look for someone else who can be there through times of stress.
7. Not keeping promises
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I don’t know about you, but I need to be able to rely on my partner. When they say they are going to do something, they need to follow through. In a relationship, this can be easy for someone who truly loves and appreciates you. However, if a guy is constantly making excuses for his failure to follow through, it’s clear that he doesn’t care. She is going to be constantly let down.
Promises may sound childish, but these are sacred agreements between a couple. Let’s say he promises to be home at a certain time to take her on a date. If he shows up late with an excuse, she will be heartbroken. When it happens again, and again, and again, she will be disappointed. Eventually, she’ll know she can’t rely on you to follow through and will instead choose to leave the relationship. She has been pushed away for good.
8. Lack of appreciation
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Showing appreciation is important in a partnership. Each person in the relationship goes out of their way for the other person. Maybe they make your lunch the night before so you have something to eat at work, or they do the dishes without asking on a day you get home late from work. These are small gestures that show how much you care. If a man is unable to deliver these little signs of appreciation, he can slowly push a woman away.
“Feeling unappreciated is like offering a gift and having it ignored. It’s the painful realization that your efforts, contributions, or simply your existence are overlooked. This emotional neglect erodes self-esteem, creating a chasm between your perceived value and the recognition received,” says Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, for Marriage.com. “Feeling unappreciated in a relationship not only diminishes self-esteem but also affects overall well-being. It’s crucial to address this issue as its impacts can be deeply harmful, leading to long-term emotional consequences.”
9. Withholding affection
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Affection can make two people feel close to one another. It’s a helpful tool to bring connection to a partnership. For some, giving affection can be difficult. I know I am one of those people who can struggle with giving my partner the physical touch he needs. However, I know the importance of working through it and putting my feelings aside when he needs it. This is a key strategy to keeping a relationship happy and healthy.
Whether a man doesn’t like giving physical affection or is withholding it for a reason, failing to touch his partner will disappoint her. Sometimes, it’s as simple as holding her hand on the couch when you are watching a show together. If she feels like he is never giving her the attention and affection she needs, she will be pushed away. Eventually, she will leave for good.
10. Keeping the relationship stagnant
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Women want to move forward in every aspect of their lives. They don’t want to stay in the same place forever., Whether you are failing to pop the question or have no desire to start working towards having a family, staying at the same place in a partnership can be disappointing. Staying stagnant can slowly push her away because all she wants is to grow as a couple.
“If we have to define stagnancy in a relationship, it refers to a partnership that has ceased to progress or evolve in a positive direction. It typically involves a lack of growth, emotional distance, and routine that can lead to complacency and dissatisfaction,” says Sylvia Smith for Marriage.com. “Communication may dwindle, issues may go unresolved, and intimacy may wane. In such relationships, there’s usually a sense of being stuck or in a rut, and the partners may feel disconnected from each other’s lives and goals.”
11. Dismissing her feelings
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What is more frustrating than feeling something intensely, telling that person about it, and being shut down? It can be devastating. Some things our partners do just hurt our feelings, whether they mean it to or not. When these moments of pain arise, you need to be able to talk to your partner. When a man meets a woman in this place with the comments ‘you’re overreacting’ or ‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ he is clearly dismissing her feelings. She will be disappointed and eventually leave her relationship.
“Some men may also be averse to their partners’ strong feelings because they know from painful experiences that emotions are contagious. Being around other people with strong feelings is as contagious as a yawn. When women are more emotional, men are more likely to feel the internal stirrings of some of their own feelings that they are uncomfortable with and may have learned to suppress,” writes Avrum Weiss, Ph.D., for Psychology Today.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
