Spoil Me With Your Time And Attention — I Can Finance Myself

I don't need yours, I've got my own.

confident woman Nick Starichenko / Shutterstock

There is this age-old idea that women love to be spoiled — and it’s true in a sense.

But despite what men might believe, being spoiled can mean a lot of different things.

For some women it’s paid dinners and old school romantic chivalry, and for others it's a guy who doesn't question anything when you have to stay late at work, or sends you a pizza when he knows you have had a bad day.

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In the most basic sense, it's giving the other person the specific kind of attention that means a lot to them without them having to ask for it.

Here's an example:

You know your girlfriend loves Chipotle.

You talk to her on the phone on your way home from work, and you can tell she sounds down.

Rather than wait for her to talk about it or even ask what you want to do for dinner, go pick up some damn Chipotle before she asks you to.

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If that's not romance than I don't know what is.

Most women — especially the ones who have been fortunate enough to become completely independent — don’t need to be spoiled with anything fancy.

While paying for things is usually a nice gesture when you are first starting to date, you cross a line if you make her feel like she can’t pay for anything.

I had a guy once tell me that I needed him, and because of my career choice I would never be able to survive on my own.

Needless to say, that is an extreme example of crossing the line, and he was dead wrong.

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No one can tell you how to treat and romance your girl except for her.


You have to really know what's important to her and what she values about herself.

If being able to pay her own way is something she is really proud of, then maybe don't offer to pay for her new tires unless she asks.

Real romance is less about rose petals and more about showing someone you love them in a way that also shows you know them.

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Everybody wants to be taken care of, but we have forgotten what that really means.

It’s about being there for someone in a way that makes them feel like you have their back, and even if you didn't you still think they could do anything.


Being a good partner is directly related to how you show up for someone.

And that is something money can't buy.

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Emily Blackwood is an editor at YourTango who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, and relationships.