6 Sly Ways To Win Back An Ex (And 5 Ways Not To)

How to convince your ex that the relationship deserves another chance.

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We asked you: "What Would Get You To Take Your Ex Back?"

Forty-three percent of you said that there’s nothing he could do to get you to change your mind and that getting involved again would mean “giving up when I just need to move on.” The unfortunate truth is that you can’t make someone love you. 

But! There is a but ... what if you still both love each other (either consciously or subconsciously), yet you’ve gone your separate ways? Maybe you never moved on from the feelings you have because no one else compared, or you both weren’t at places in your lives to make things work.


In that case, there’s potential to re-ignite the relationship. Of course, you have to prepare for the probable possibility that your Ex isn’t interested. There’s no middle ground when it comes to re-wooing: either it works, or you have to look at it as an opportunity to finally move on. The not knowing still driving you crazy?

RELATED: I'm Over My Ex — And Had Sex With Him To Prove It


Here are the dos and don'ts of winning back an ex:

Here is what works:

1. The talk

Guys, you have an easier time, because all you have to really do is say something. Twenty-nine percent of you (and we're going to assume most of you are ladies) said that if he wants to talk about things, it's a sign he really cares.

2. Turning your life into a romantic comedy

This one totally bites because it's really only an option for a guy to make a huge romantic gesture like showing up on your doorstep. When a girl does it, she risks looking desperate. But then again, you are. Don’t spend the money and effort unless you are totally sure the person misses you. 

3. Resigning yourself to being a friend with benefits.

A likely reason you're not together anymore is that he didn't want to work things through in the first place. So no way will he want to dive into the complicated. If it's just nookie that’s up for an offer, he might take it. This increases your chances of going back into a real relationship, only because you’re seeing each other more (um, as opposed to not). The chances he'll want more than just something physical? Slim to none. You take the gamble.


4. Reminders of what was good

Try digging up your old emails and forwarding an exchange that was particularly cute or loving. Going back to memories might jog the heartache.

RELATED: How Long It Takes For A Guy To Regret Breaking Up With You (And How To Speed That Up)

5. Hot social media photos

This might just pique curiosity. Don’t make them overly sexy. That's just a cry for attention.

6. Get way hotter

Shallow? Yes. Effective? Yes.

What doesn’t work:

1. Proposing

Easy there, cowboy! Way to freak someone out.

2. The pour-your-heart-out, five-page email or letter

Yes, you have a lot to say, but save it for later. Discussing every detail and thought you have is guaranteed to be overwhelming for the reader (plus, who has attention spans these days anyway?).


RELATED: 10 Signs Your Ex Is Testing You (And What You Can Do)

3. Gifts

C'mon. Haven't you ever listened to the Beatles?

4. Repeat efforts

We said this before—you get one chance. After that, you become annoying.


5. Faking being pregnant

'Nuff said.

RELATED: 10 Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back

The Frisky is dedicated to sharing relationship tips, celebrity gossip, and sexy fun.