According To Research, This Simple Activity Can Repair Even The Most Stressed Out Marriages
Couples who make time for this simple habit report stronger connection and less conflict.
Zamrznuti tonovi | Shutterstock Being intimate is great and all, but according to a 2012 article by Jill Blakeway, clinic director of the YinOva Center, kissing just may be more important.
According to research, the simple act of kissing can repair even the most stressed-out marriages.
An estimated 40 million Americans are living in intimacy-less marriages, according to Blakeway. Somewhat counterintuitively, jumping right back into the sack may not alleviate this problem. Instead, she recommends couples start with the basics to recharge their love lives: kissing.
Blakeway says kissing can be "more intimate than sleeping with someone," but is often one of the first things to go in a marriage that is losing its passion. "[I've had patients tell me,] 'We used to spend hours kissing,'" says Blakeway. "Then I would ask, 'Well, how long do you spend kissing now?' One patient said 'When I first get in, I kiss my dog. Then I kiss my husband.'"
You need to always work at keeping the passion alive in your marriage, and one of the ways you can do it is by kissing your husband first when you walk through the door.
Counselor Kate Evans explained the importance of the kiss, "If you are married to someone and you have no physical intimacy, you are in a friendship, not a romantic relationship, and that is something you will need to decide if you want to change. And a simple relationship kiss is a powerful thing.
Kissing is essential to every relationship.
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No matter how busy your life is, the time it takes to be in the moment for a kiss with your partner will not derail your schedule. And it's crucial to keep the spark alive or get it back."
Kissing is one of the best things you can do with another person. I've done right, it can lead to some pretty fun times. If couples want to save their touch-starved marriages, why don't they just kiss it out?
Kissing is crucial to the success of a relationship, says Blakeway. "Kissing is one of the first ways we connect physically. And then over time, it goes down. But some physical things make kissing important."
Kissing decreases your level of cortisol, a stress-causing hormone, and increases oxytocin, a hormone that encourages bonding, she notes. Kissing relaxes, builds a connection between partners, and gets us ready to perform. "Chinese medicine says that the mouth and the tongue have a connection to the heart. So it's the same idea. Kissing attaches people," says Blakeway.
A study examining the impacts of kissing showed how an increase in romantic kissing was related to "improvements in perceived stress, relationship satisfaction, and total serum cholesterol. "
So remember, you're never too old for a good old-fashioned make-out session — it may even save your marriage or relationship.
Just make sure you're doing it because you want to, and not as just a last-ditch effort to save your marriage. It might end up feeling like your partner is making out with a dead, passionless fish.
Just like in fairytales where the princess kisses the frog and everything is right with the world again, kissing can do the same for your marriage.
Caitlyn Hitt is a freelance writer and editor whose work has been featured in Thrillist, Romper, the New York Daily News, and more.
