11 Signs Of A Man Who Loves Attention More Than Commitment
Edi Libedinsky / Shutterstock We’ve all met a man who cares more about the chase than finding real love. A man like this loves the attention he gets from women. While he may benefit from a relationship, he doesn’t allow himself to experience one for long.
When playing the field, the attention is endless. Men like this can date around and get as much praise from others as they want. If they prefer to get attention from multiple people at a time, it feels like their only option. Commitment is less appealing to them. Instead of seeking a long-term relationship, he will never truly settle down with you. There are certain signs that he is more interested in the chase than he is in finding the right partner to settle down with.
These are 11 signs of a man who loves attention more than commitment
1. He needs constant validation
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If a man is constantly seeking validation, it’s a sign that he craves attention more than he values commitment. He may need attention to boost his self-esteem. While he may try to hide it, someone with this attention-seeking behavior likely struggles with their self-worth. Instead of settling down in a meaningful relationship, they’ll likely seek validation wherever they can.
Attention-seeking behavior can be motivated by insecurities or jealousy. This type of person wants all eyes on them. It may be one of the only ways they can boost their self-esteem. Instead of valuing a committed relationship, a man like this is in it for the validation.
2. He posts on social media for attention
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We all know someone whose social media posts scream attention-seeking. With men, we often picture those shirtless mirror selfies. Clearly, they are motivated to post those pictures for attention. They want women to reply and give them compliments. If a man is in a relationship with you and acting like this online, it’s a sign he cares more about attention than commitment. He wants to see how much attention he can get for his appearance.
People can become so reliant on social media attention that it changes the way they view life, a study found. Constantly checking notifications can impact personal relationships. If a man is glued to his phone and using social media for attention, he may never fully commit to your relationship.
3. He’s a little too friendly with women in public
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Most of us have had experience with men who are more interested in the chase than in a relationship. You may notice they are extra friendly with the waitstaff at a restaurant or the woman checking you out at the grocery store. His eyes are always wandering, and he is friendly to a fault with the random women he meets. Sometimes, he may take it a step further and exchange numbers or social media accounts. This is how he can continue to get attention long after he leaves the place where he met them.
Flirting outside of a relationship can cause serious problems. It’s a sign that a man cares more about the attention he gets, rather than where he gets it from. Even if he tries to have a relationship with you, a guy like this may never fully commit. He cares more about how much attention he can get and who he can get it from.
4. Drama tends to follow him
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We’ve heard the saying that any attention is good attention. We see it often with children. Even if they do something wrong, they’re still getting attention when acting out. This may be the same motivation for a man who cares more about attention than commitment. He may tell stories about all of his ‘crazy’ ex-girlfriends. Or, he may have a lot of drama with different men with whom he took things a little too far with their girlfriends.
When this happens, we see that their attention-seeking behavior has gotten them in trouble more than once. They are so focused on getting what they want that they don’t seem to care who they may hurt in the process.
5. He hates relationship labels
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We’ve all had that dreaded "what are we" conversation with a man. Putting labels on a relationship is something most of us value. We want to feel commitment to the person we have feelings for. Some men can almost seem allergic to labels. They’re never ready to commit fully.
If they settle down with one person, they may miss out on more opportunities for attention. While they may prefer to keep as many women in their web as possible, commitment would limit them. It’s all part of their grand attention-seeking team. They maintain ‘situationships’ rather than relationships.
6. He pulls away often
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Just when you feel like you’re getting close to him, he pulls away. This isn’t an uncommon experience for women trying to form relationships with men. They may let you in just enough to make you feel close, then back away when things begin to feel serious. Instead of maintaining a healthy relationship, a guy like this is likely in it for attention. He doesn’t want to make himself too vulnerable.
They would rather experience the attention from a woman than a genuine connection. Being too close to someone else may scare them. They want people around, but at a safe enough distance.
7. He exaggerates his achievements
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If a man constantly adds a little more to his stories, he may be doing it to get attention. Suddenly, he has these incredible stories about overcoming something serious or finishing school with the best grades. He wants to impress women. You may notice these stories change depending on who he is talking to. It may be a strategic way to get the attention he craves.
Men can overestimate a woman’s interest in them. He may think it’ll be easy for him to convince her he is a high-achieving mastermind. However, some women can see through this and realize it's an attention-seeking behavior.
8. He keeps things surface-level
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A man like this may prefer to keep a relationship superficial. They care less about letting people in than getting as much attention as they can. It can seem like the relationship is touch-and-go. One second, things are great. He’s giving you all you could ask for. Next, he’s unwilling to provide any depth. It’s a game he may play to keep you in his orbit.
This behavior can keep strong relationships from blossoming. This may be his intention. He wants the attention without the commitment.
9. He is jealous
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Men may not want to have a committed relationship with you, but that doesn’t mean anyone else can. He may keep you around for attention. If you try to move on, he can show his jealousy in different ways. Even if you stay in his life, he may project his faults onto you. He’ll assume you’re flirting with other guys or doing things behind his back. These are all signs that he is jealous, though he would likely never admit it.
When a man is jealous, it can show that he cares more about attention than commitment. He wants all of your attention without strings attached, but will get upset if he sees you give it to anyone else.
10. He never lets you get too close
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Have you dated a man and started to feel a deep connection with them? They’re letting you into their world. You’re learning about their friends and family. It seems like things are finally going to get serious. Then, out of nowhere, they back off. They start to keep you at arm's length.
This is a sign that a man cares more about attention than commitment. He enjoys having you close when he gets something out of it, but doesn’t want to be left feeling vulnerable.
11. He wants you to take care of him
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Men can fall into a very specific stereotype. It’s almost like they are seeking a mother figure rather than a partner. They may practice weaponized incompetence to get out of doing things. Whether it’s a chore around the house or any form of emotional labor, any way a man can avoid doing these things, he will. If a man is looking for a woman to give him attention and do things for him, he may value that more than commitment.
"Weaponized incompetence may occur because the person wants to avoid responsibility, aspects of the work make them anxious or uncomfortable, or they disagree with how the work is being carried out," says Psychology Today. A man who does this may value the attention he gets from women who pick up their slack.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
