People Who Always Seem To Get Dumped Let These 4 Petty Things Ruin Their Relationships
Every relationship is annoying sometimes, but some habits get in the way of actually finding love.
GaudiLab | Canva All relationships are plagued with annoyance and carelessness from time-to-time. Sometimes, however, people have habits and traits that sabotage any great relationship that comes their way. Most of the time, they have no idea it's even happening.
From leaving the toilet seat up to flirting with coworkers when you know you shouldn't, simple things can become big problems, petty things that can ruin relationships. But they don't have to.
People who always seem to get dumped let these 4 petty things ruin their relationships:
1. Messiness
Sometimes the toilet seat up is just the toilet seat up. But other times, that vertical piece of porcelain in the powder room is nothing short of a death wish, proof your man never really loved you or respected you, and a justifiable cause for exiling him to the land where couches replace beds.
It's easy to feel as though messiness is a sign of disrespect, especially when there's no toilet paper on the roll and three wet towels on the floor. But the fact of the matter is that one-half of a partnership is always going to be messier than the other. Remember this.
"Instead of focusing on how inadequately he cleans, remind yourself of how much you appreciate his contribution to household chores. Changing your perspective can not only resolve the irritating issue, but it can also mend the dynamic of the whole relationship."
2. Seemingly deliberate habits
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Do you really mean to chew your food the way you do? Laugh at the stuff that makes you laugh? Sing in a way that makes dogs in the next neighborhood squeal in pain? Probably not. And, you know what? It might be the case that your sweetheart isn't deliberately trying to irritate you either.
Maybe he's not aware of the fact that his snoring makes you want to poison him in his sleep. Maybe his nail-biting has nothing to do with you. Maybe you need to stop taking everything he does so personally.
Once you do that, consider whether or not you can live with the annoyance. If not, feel free to gently enlighten him about the fact that he hums when he reads, making it difficult for you to concentrate on watching TV.
3. Flirting
There's nothing wrong with a little how-do-you-do, but if your partner's flirting has crossed the line from innocent friendliness to outright irritation, the recommendation is to "look beyond your own hurt feelings and ask yourself what your partner is looking for."
It might be the case that he wants more quality time, less complaining, more help with household chores, or just a little bit more fun. Take an honest look at what you are and aren't giving each other, and do your best to bring that back to the relationship.
4. Criticism
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Communication is good, but too much communication is bad. And, yes, it's possible to communicate too much.
If you feel that you and your partner are talking and talking, but all that's coming out is criticism and complaining, interrupt things. Add some playfulness or a joke, or an overtly affectionate move to the interaction.
The goal in doing so isn't to shut down the conversation, but to make it more constructive and a little kinder. It might just be that you'll say less, but hear (and love) each other a little more in the long run.
According to a 2009 article, petty annoyances can easily "coalesce into a vast, submerged force when they take on a different meaning in your mind when you add them up as evidence of a character flaw or moral defect."
"Every annoyance in a relationship is really a two-way street. Partners focus on what they're getting, not on what they're giving. But no matter how frustrating a partner's behavior is, your interpretation is the greater part of it. What matters is the meaning you attach to it," the article said.
But interpretation can make those socks in the hall and those whiskers in the sink a little less aggravating. Ask if there really is any deeper meaning to those empty milk cartons in the refrigerator?
Kristin Meinzer is a news and entertainment writer for Newsweek, a podcast host, and the author of So You Want to Start a Podcast: Finding Your Voice, Telling Your Story, and Building a Community That Will Listen.
