4 Signs A Man Sees You As A Deeply Respected Person With A Beautiful Soul
Goksi | Shutterstock Recently, I asked some colleagues and friends if they believe there is a certain number of dates after which it's safe to know the guy you're dating is officially into you. Most of them said something like, “I don't know. When you find out, please let me know!”
Men were more likely to include something about intimacy in what they viewed as signs a guy wanted a relationship, while women were more likely to include factors like trust. Does he want a relationship, and more importantly, does he see you as a beautiful person he deeply respects? If only there were an algorithm. Alas, there is no formula to solve this ancient riddle, not even on Google, but these signs suggest you're on the right path.
Here are 4 signs a man sees you as a deeply respected person with a beautiful soul:
1. He values your mind just as much as your beauty
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Research on active listening found that when someone genuinely engages with you by showing undivided attention and responding with positive intention, it activates reward systems in your brain because you feel truly valued. The key is that the interest has to be real because people can totally detect when someone's just going through the motions without actual curiosity about who you are.
Caveats: How long have you been dating? How many dates have you gone on? How much time have you spent together? Who initiates most dates? In general, the two to three-month mark is around the time you are either boyfriend and girlfriend, or not. If you consider that dating tends to occur on weekends, you've likely been on eight to ten dates over two months. A couple of months is plenty of time to assess if the person you're dating is into you and vice versa.
Beware of jumping in too quickly and announcing you two are official, only to have the relationship fizzle out shortly thereafter. Also, be careful not to assume anything without having a direct conversation (aka "the talk"). Asking, “So, what are we?” after a few dates may not be the smoothest move, but hopefully you have a sense of the direction the relationship is going. Being in a committed relationship is an adult situation and requires adulting skills, such as communication and honesty.
2. He notices what lights you up
Do you have overlapping interests and values? Is he a night owl, while you are an early bird? Does he binge-watch Netflix on the couch, and you would rather spend time together at a nice restaurant once in a while? Having some differences can enrich a relationship, but having similarities, shared interests, and hobbies is important for the two of you to be compatible in the long run.
A 2024 study found that shared values like caring about others and having empathy actually predict higher relationship quality way more than just having the same hobbies. While enjoying similar activities is nice, couples who align on core values tend to feel more supported and connected in the long run.
Caveat: Beware if the person you're dating claims to enjoy the same activities you enjoy, but does not enjoy them. Sometimes people portray themselves in a way they think you want them to be, rather than as who they are.
3. He respects your values
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Research on attraction found that while things like looks, humor, and intelligence initially draw people together, deeper qualities like kindness, empathy, and trustworthiness are what actually make someone a good long-term partner. These character traits might not be as flashy, but they're the ones most likely to stand the test of time and create meaningful relationships beyond surface-level connections.
Caveat: Reconnecting with someone you knew from elementary school does not necessarily mean you are destined to live happily ever after together. Fairytales rarely end well in real life. Also, beware if they tend to stay attached to their phone, especially if they make sure you can't see who else they are texting or who is calling, should it ring.
4. He treats your friends and family well
How does he treat you when you're with friends and family? How do you treat him when you're out with yours? Noticing the characteristics of his friends can be a helpful source of information about the man you're dating, as you can tell a lot about people based on who they hang out with. Asking your friends what they notice about the vibe between the two of you can also be a valuable source of information as well.
Research from UC Davis shows that when you feel your friends and family approve of your partner, it strongly boosts your relationship quality and even makes it more likely to last. When there's tension or interference from a partner's social circle, it can really hurt the relationship, so how he treats the people you care about definitely matters.
Caveat: If your friends are single, they could be biased against your guy, because they may not want to share you.
Dr. Elayne Daniels, NHSP, RYT, is a renowned psychologist and professional speaker on the topics of body image and mental health. She has been a featured guest on local radio, television programs, and a variety of blogs.
