9 Questions To Ask The Man You Want To Marry *Before* The Wedding

Is he even marriage material?

couple talking Jacob Lund / Shutterstock

Marriage is a union of two people. It's something that happens when you're madly in love and are super eager to start the rest of your life with your beloved by your side. It's hard work, yes, but the best things in life aren't easy.

Can the person you're dating confidently answer these nine questions? I hope so!

Here are nine questions you should ask the man you want to marry before the wedding:

1. What makes you love me?

Love can't be universally defined. It makes everyone feel special — in their own way. When you're in love, everything is better. You're in a natural state of happiness almost all the time. Every relationship teaches you to love unlike before.


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Your Romeo or Juliet should be able to answer exactly why they love you so much.

2. Why do you want to spend eternity with me?

Eternity is a really, really, really long time. It's thousands of hours together, countless meals, and millions of conversations, and all of them won't be perfect.

Your soul mate should want to take the love journey with you. They should be able to explain why they want to spend the rest of their life with you, for a reason other than "because I love you."

3. How will you keep our spark alive and happy?

Relationships require effort, effort, and then a little more effort. The spark can be really strong, other times it can waiver, and sometimes it can go on a hiatus. It's all part of the ride.


Keeping the magic from fading can often be a challenging task. You need to feel assured that your true love will do whatever it takes to keep your passion alive and growing.

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4. How will we get through the rough patches?

When life is good, it's really good. When things are bad, well, that's a different story. Bad times are how relationships get off track. When curve balls are thrown at you, your love for each other is tested. When life gets tough, that's when you really need your partner.

How will your honey stick by your side when things are super sucky? Will they be a good listener? Will he or she provide advice? Will you emotionally support each other? Are you prepared to work through the tough times?


These are all questions the person you want to marry must be able to answer very, very well!

5. How will you prioritize me and us?

Life can get in the way of love. Happy, loving, healthy marriages stay wonderful because both people choose to put effort into each other. When children, stress, work, and minutia weigh down on you, you need a ride-or-die partner.

You should ensure that your sweetheart is going to put time into you and your relationship -- regardless of what else is going on. Your relationship should be an escape from the outside world. Your loved one should have a solid answer for how he or she is going to prioritize the two of you.

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6. Will you be an active parent?

Parenting is hard. I don't have a newborn, but I can surely tell you from a lot of second-hand experience that they're hard work. They take patience and a little bit of perseverance.

You have to make sure your partner is going to be a good parent. Is your nearest and dearest okay with sharing the parenting responsibility? Will your partner be a positive influence in the life of your child? Confirm that the love of your life is going to be an active parent so you won't be the only sleep-deprived one in the relationship.

7. Will you show me how much you love me?

Actions speak louder than words. You can say something 100 times, but it's what you do that really counts. Both women and men want to be reassured that they're loved a whole lot. How will you show your beloved that you're madly in love with him or her?

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8. Will you woo me?

Once you're happy in a relationship, it's easy to accidentally say sayonara to the wooing and romance. You get into a routine and forget to court each other. Pardon my French, but you want to make sure your partner is going to continue to surprise the heck out of you. How will your partner give you butterflies and make you feel extra special?

9. Will you promise to communicate?

Not everyone is an excellent communicator. Opening up and sharing your feelings isn't natural for everyone. Being vulnerable is easier for some than others. It's imperative to make sure your better half lets you into every aspect of their life and shares everything with you. Will they promise to always talk to you?

There's no greater joy than being in love. Love shakes you to your core. Make your love last forever.

Carly Spindel is a Matchmaker and relationship expert who has introduced 110 couples. She is passionate about spreading love throughout the country.