People In The Happiest Relationships Talk About These 7 Things On A Regular Basis, According To Experts
Communication is at the core of the happiest couple.
GaudiLab | Canva Our daily interactions set up the vibe of our relationships for better or worse. Habitual communication is the core of a couple, and the happiest couples know there are some topics that should never get boring.
A healthy relationship requires regular communication about a variety of topics. But some everyday discussions are critical to the longevity of a relationship. Checking in about feelings, long and short-range plans, the mundane events you experience through a day, and sharing the warmest memories, helps maintain a strong bond between happy people in love.
People in the happiest relationships talk about these seven things on a regular basis, according to experts:
1. Their small wins and little frustrations
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Psychotherapist Richard Drobnick explains how, in the healthiest relationships, daily conversations often revolve around how each person felt that day, what small wins or frustrations came up, and even seemingly pointless updates that actually serve the deeper purpose of emotional connection. It’s not about the content, but the intention behind it.
Talking daily is a way to bridge the natural gap in how they process life. Partners in sync know that sharing without fixing and listening without judging builds trust and keeps them emotionally in tune.
2. Their day
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Experience has shown that the happiest couples always focus on what matters most: how they and their partners feel and what each experienced that day, advises therapist Gloria Brame. When my partner and I sit down to dinner, we immediately start catching up on the day's news. If something was particularly exciting, upsetting, or meaningful, that takes priority. So does family news! This level of sharing feels natural to us and to the truly happy couples I work with.
Now, sometimes I have to encourage clients to develop this habit. It is usually transformative for their relationship! Daily emotional check-ins keep couples centered on each other and build a powerful emotional intimacy that makes relationships thrive.
3. Their memories
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Divorce attorney Jennifer Hargrave explains that people in the happiest relationships talk about shared memories that bring feelings of warmth and connection. Whether it's a trip together, time spent working side-by-side, or stories about children, grandparents, or ancestors.
Even when relationships end, by death or break-up, Hargrave encourages her clients to keep telling the shared stories. Researchers helping grieving families use a narrative approach to illness, death, and grief.
Sharing these stories of hope "serves as the foundation for remembering the dead, folding their stories into the lives of the living, and constructing lines of relational connection that can transcend physical death. Not only do families benefit from this approach, but the psychosocial team that provides professional and medical services can be uplifted through witnessing practices of strength and love in the face of hardship."
4. Their feelings
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Marriage and family counselor Nicola Beer says that couples in relationships become closer and more connected when they share their feelings. Sharing thoughts does not unite them in the same way. Emotional connection is where you look inside and express your inner feelings — hopeful, pleased, wary, discouraged, etc.
One husband I worked with won back his wife’s love after they separated and stopped a divorce. He studied feeling words and was able to communicate with his wife on a level they had never had before.
However, he did want to interrupt and stop his wife when she was saying, "I feel that…" I advised him that he had to let that go, and unless she, too, wanted to learn more about how to express feelings in their relationship, it would not help their communication or the relationship.
This practice, often termed emotional validation, goes beyond simply hearing your partner's words. Research has explained that it involves recognizing and accepting their emotional experience, regardless of whether you agree with their perspective.
5. Their desires
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"What would you like to do?" Couples counselor David McFadden recommends asking this question during free time, when planning a date, going out to eat, or discussing deeper-level goals and direction in life.
Another way to ask is, "If you could do anything you wanted, what would that be?" You know your spouse's goals and dreams, so work with them to see how to make their wants, desires, and aspirations possible.
6. Their moods
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Life coach Mitzi Bockmann says, If you feel good about who you are in the world, if you don’t feel like you need someone to 'complete you,' and if you know you will be just fine alone, then you're in a place to have a healthy relationship.
While we don't need someone to complete us to feel happy in a relationship, if you feel good about yourself in one, then your relationship is healthy. A 2024 study explored how self-esteem is a function of relationship quality, dependent on trust.
I have a client who believes she's in a healthy relationship with her boyfriend. After all, she's always there for him, cooks, cleans, and has given up her time with friends to spend with him. And while she says she's OK with it, truly, when she took a good look at herself, she wasn’t.
She was twisting herself into a pretzel, trying to be who he wanted her to be, not who she was. And that was making her unhappy. Knowing if you are in a relationship that will last a lifetime is an important part of moving forward together.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
7. Their future
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Astrologer and senior editor Aria Gmitter has been blessed to witness many happily married couples who have been together for over 60 years. The things they talk about every single day include how special they are to one another, their future together, and the simple, mundane aspects of everyday life.
They affirm each other's presence and express how meaningful it feels to be together. They talk about what they love about their significant other, and they remind each other how lucky they are to have found each other.
Gmitter says, my grandparents were married almost 70 years, my grandfather loved to talk about the first day he ever saw my grandmother, and how he couldn't imagine life without her. My grandmother always spoke fondly of how kind my grandfather was to her and how much she cherished their moments together. They talked about this every day, multiple times a day, and it was so special to hear as their grandchild.
Even after my grandmother passed away, my grandpa would say she was his girl and the only woman he ever loved. Then, my sister and. her husband, who have been together over 25 years, are like two children on a playground all day, every day. They are always talking about the future. Their next trip. Their next meal, what time they will watch a show, play a game, or go for a walk in the park.
I have friends who have been happily married for over 50 years, and they love to talk about how good their meals are, how nicely the laundry is cleaned, or how amazing the weather and yard are. These are the conversations of security that say we are a team and that we are in this life together. It says we are united and we don't do life alone. These are the words of happiness and joy that speak volumes about finding your person, and it's something I hope to have in my future, a forever relationship.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
