People Who Don’t Let A Breakup Completely Derail Them Do These 8 Essential Things
Sandra Seitamaa | Unsplash Figuring out how to survive a breakup is difficult, but it is possible to heal a broken heart — and build your self-esteem so you can feel like a stronger version of yourself on the other side.
When you're heartbroken, it can feel like the end of everything. Learning how to get over someone, especially if you still love them, is painful. But, even though dealing with a breakup is rough, there are ways to make the most of it and get yourself to the other side of it quicker.
People who don’t let a breakup completely derail them do these 8 essential things:
1. They go easy on themselves
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First of all, this is a time to really nurture and take care of yourself. Don't push yourself. Don't beat yourself up about anything from the past. Take this time to focus on yourself and take care of yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself.
Emotional pain is just as real as physical pain, so give yourself the same aftercare you would if you were injured. Beating yourself up will only re-injure that wound and open it back up so it can't heal.
If you don't treat yourself well while you're figuring out how to deal with a breakup, you will only attract others who won't treat you well. You are worthy and deserving of only the best; treat yourself accordingly.
2. They let it all out
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Getting over a breakup involves getting in touch with deep emotions. So, let those emotions out — don't keep them in. It's so important to really feel the pain and sadness and release it. Yes, it's hard, but it's so important. If you don't feel it, it will stay inside you and cause you emotional and physical issues in the future.
Research shows that avoidance strategies like suppressing emotions after a breakup can prolong emotional distress and delay recovery. People who actively process their feelings tend to bounce back faster than those who bottle it up.
So let it out! Cry or scream or whatever you need to do, but feel it and let it out. If it stays inside, it will only get worse. Let it out so it doesn't have power over you anymore, then you can move forward.
3. They look for the lesson
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In every relationship, some lessons are gifts we take with us forever and use in future relationships. Lessons will continue to be repeated over and over until we learn them. People who understand why their relationship ended experience less conflict and more satisfaction in their next romantic relationships, research has shown.
Making sense of what went wrong helps you learn and make better choices going forward. If you want things to be different in your next relationship, really take time to focus on what you learned from that relationship and what changes you can make in the future so it doesn't repeat again.
4. They notice the kind of people they keep attracting — and the kind they actually want
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The actions and choices we make in our lives directly affect who we attract into our lives. If you are attracting those who neglect you, look at the ways you are neglecting yourself and make changes. Are you attracting those who aren't serious? If so, look at what in your life you're not taking seriously enough or aren't committed to.
Whatever you are attracting that you don't want, look inside you for where you are making those same kinds of choices. Changing up the choices you are making, especially toward yourself, will help you to attract what you do want instead.
5. They put more energy toward what they want more of
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If you want more love in your life, work on loving yourself more, so you will attract that. If you want more fun in your life, find ways to add more fun things that you love. The energy of fun and playfulness attracts love. Purposely add more of what you want into your life so you can attract more of it.
Studies show that self-love is linked to flourishing and overall higher well-being. People who work on loving themselves and building positive aspects of their lives report better life satisfaction.
6. They trust that there is a bigger reason
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Trust that there is a better reason and things will work out for the best. At the moment, dealing with heartbreak can seem so devastating, but there is a bigger plan, and if that person isn't best for you, it's important for that relationship to end so someone better for you can come.
If that person is really right, then the breakup is for learning a lesson for either one of you or both of you. If it is right, the relationship will come back together. Be true to yourself and focus on yourself and what you want outside of the relationship. Changing your focus to you will help, and if it is right, that person will naturally come back.
7. They invest in what they want
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The more you work on creating what you want in your own life, the more you will attract those who are what you want. So, for instance, if you settle for a job you hate, you will attract relationships into your life where you always have to settle.
Personal growth boosts self-confidence and influences the quality of relationships you attract. Studies found that people who actively work on their own development are more likely to make choices that promote continued growth.
Really look into all areas of your life and work on areas you aren't happy with. So many people think they don't have a choice, but you do. With new actions, you can start changing what you don't want in your life into what you do want. Your life is like clay; mold it how you want, not how someone else wants or says you should.
8. They lean into the support and good that already exists
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Instead of focusing on who you don't have anymore, focus on who and what you do have. Appreciating what you do have helps you to attract more. So enjoy what you have and know that you will get through this.
Things will get better, and once you learn how to deal with heartbreak, all the pain will be worth it when you get to an even better place in your life with the right person for you. You have so much more control than you realize. If you work on these things, you can get your love life going in the right direction and leave this heartbreak in the past.
Kristine Carlson is a psychic medium, an Advanced Soul Realignment Practitioner, and an author.
