7 Must-Have Traits Guys Don't Know They Need In A Woman

You need these traits to have a lasting relationship.

soft woman blowing kiss Maria Surtu/ Shutterstock

By Tor Constantino

It doesn’t take a genius to recognize that most guys — if asked — would prefer to be in a relationship with a younger woman who’s got an attractive face, is fun-loving, has a sexy manner, great legs, awesome personality, has rocking body and bedroom eyes with a “come hither” smile. What guy wouldn’t want that?

However, the problem with that wish list is that it’s ultimately unsustainable because most of those traits are purely physical and will diminish over the years. It’s so easy for us guys to get caught up in those physical trappings at the expense of much more important and enduring attributes.


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In fact, many guys might not even consider some of the more valuable virtues of a woman whom they’re pursuing in the short term; however, here are seven desirable traits for consideration that can endure for the long term.

Here are 7 must-have traits guys don't know they need in a woman:

1. Dependable

Yeah, I know it sounds like a positive automotive rating in Consumer Reports, but the truth is guys need a reliable, stabilizing agent in their lives as we age. Without being codependent or enabling, guys need someone they can anchor to when things get tough — and things will get rough out there.


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2. Committed

This comprises the aspects of loyalty and fidelity. While some couples tout the strength of their open, polyamorous relationships — a monogamous commitment is the best chance of long-term relational success. Feel free to cite Don Juanesque outliers such as George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, or Derek Jeter — but let’s face it none of us are going to be those guys.

In the long run, an unending series of one-night stands don’t stand a chance against a long-standing commitment to another individual.

3. Completeness

Whether we know it or not, this is probably the most desirable trait in a mate because it’s so broad and comprehensive.


While no individual is perfectly complete in every area of their personality, it’s important to consider some of the features that make them well rounded or complete such as emotional maturity; gainful employment; a solid education; being an effective communicator; having a strong support network…etc. Any guy would be lucky to be involved with a woman who has only a few of these attributes of completeness, let alone several of them.

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4. Strength

While physical health and well-being are important, I’m specifically referring to her internal strength because that will serve you both well into your future. You’ll both face adversity together and a deep reservoir of strength will only help sustain you and her.

5. Generosity

It’s important to note that generosity extends far beyond money and can encompass a positive disposition toward others. It’s safe to say that a woman who is generous and gracious with strangers, is very likely to be generous to the guy she is committed to and loves.


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6. Wisdom

This is another great catch-all word that captures the various ideas of intellect, experience, judgment, and maturity. There’s a proverb that states, “Wisdom is more valuable than gold and should be pursued above all things.” If you happen to find a wise woman to love, and who loves you back, don’t let her go.

7. Kindness

The critical imperative of finding someone who is a kind person goes without saying. If a potential mate has all the other attributes listed here but lacks a kind disposition, it’s unlikely you’ll find a meaningful relationship wrapped in unkind arms.

It should go without saying that when it comes to relationships — similar things actually attract each other—contrary to the law of magnetism where opposites attract. While there may be anomalies, individuals that have the strongest and most-enduring relationships tend to have the most in common with each other.


If you want to find that special someone who has all of the traits listed above, the best way to do it is to become those traits yourself — or become George Clooney.

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Tor Constantino is a former journalist, speaker, best-selling author, and current corporate communications executive with 25+ years of experience as a professional writer. He has been featured in The Good Men Project, Entrepreneur.com, Forbes, Fortune, BusinessInsider, Success.com, TIME, USAToday, and Yahoo!