The 7 Little Phone Games Men Play When They’re Not Really Serious About You
The hot-and-cold games men do when they text, often just enough to keep you hooked.
Abdullah Raafat | Unsplash There’s no denying that our phones have become such an important thing in our lives. However, when you're getting to know someone new, it can be hard to tell if they're truly interested or just passing the time. While every relationship moves at its own pace, certain patterns in how someone uses their phone can reveal whether they're genuinely invested or keeping you on the back burner.
When someone is serious about you, their actions match their words. When they're not, you'll often find yourself confused and wondering why things feel so weird and complicated. Here are common phone habits that suggest someone isn't as serious as they claim to be, so you can spot them early and decide what's best for you.
Here are the 7 little phone games men play when they’re not really serious about you:
1. He won't give you his password for a simple task
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Say they are driving and need to get into their GPS or check a message with an address, and they technically don’t have time to look. They should be able to ask you to open it super quickly and get there. But if they don’t want to give you their password for a thirty-second check, they don’t trust you. And what is a relationship without trust?
Life coach Mitzi Bockmann emphasizes that committed couples should share passcodes and be able to access each other's phones, noting that "a relationship is nothing without trust." A secure relationship involves basic trust, and if he can't extend that to you in even the smallest ways, he's showing you he's not as invested as he should be.
2. He gets notifications from dating apps
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Just because they delete the app physically from their phone doesn’t mean their account is deactivated, and for some, you still get push or other notifications. Maybe they moved the app so you can’t see it? Regardless, why are they getting notifications when they are supposed to be done?
"Before becoming exclusive, find out if they are still on dating apps," advises dating expert Jonathon Aslay. Getting push notifications from dating apps isn't an accident; it's a deliberate choice.
3. He deletes texts and calls
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Let’s be real, not a lot of people ever delete their text messages unless they need space on their phones, let alone call history. If they are going that far to narrow it down, there is a huge issue, and they are clearly trying to hide something.
Life coach Michael Howard explains that "If your partner makes sure that old messages are deleted — or worse, he deletes them as soon as he finishes a conversation with someone — there may be more going on than just texting." A guy who's serious about you has nothing to hide and no reason to constantly clear his phone like he's disposing of evidence.
4. He doesn't answer calls in front of you
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I get that sometimes you do need to excuse yourself to take a call, especially if it’s a call from work or a personal family matter. But otherwise, why do they need to go to the edge of the earth to avoid you hearing a phone call?
"Going to work early, leaving late, getting off the phone suddenly, and taking lots of private calls from a 'relative' are red flags," explains relationship expert Charles J. Orlando. If he's constantly fleeing to the other side of the house just to answer his phone, he's not just protecting his privacy; he's protecting his secrets.
5. When he does take a call in front of you, he's super discreet
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If they do take calls in the vicinity of where you are and they are keeping a low tone and are constantly looking at you as if they’re paranoid, I would take that as a serious red flag. It shows that the call might not be too bad, but if you heard the person on the other end, he would be in deep dirt.
"When he becomes very protective of his phone, it is natural that you become suspicious, especially if he was never like that before," explains relationship expert Sean Jameson. These overprotective behaviors and attempts to hide his phone screen suggest he may want to hide something from your eyes.
6. He never leaves his phone unattended
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Most of the time, we do bring our phones everywhere with us, mainly so we don’t lose them and panic. But if he literally has to have it at all times, like waking up to pee in the middle of the night, he’s keeping it close for a reason. Unexpected text messages, perhaps? Or Snapchats he can only open in private?
"They're consistently preoccupied with their phone, computer, or other devices — and you know it's for sneaky reasons," explains dating expert C. Mellie Smith. He's keeping that device close because he cannot risk you seeing what's on it.
7. He feels obligated to go through yours
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If they won’t allow you to go in theirs for even a moment, why on Earth should he feel so pressured to go in yours? Maybe out of guilt or to see if he can find something to use against you when you find out about his behavior.
I know you might try and deny or make excuses for his phone etiquette or habits, but these are all red flags about a hidden motive. Clearly, he has some sort of trust issues or is up to no good behind your back.
Or just doesn’t want you to see all the stuff he can't explain on his phone. Regardless, if he does any of these things, you definitely need to take that sign and start investigating.
Brittany Christopoulos is a writer, journalist, and fill-in TV co-host. She's a Senior Writer and Head of Trending News for Unwritten.
