If Your Wife Says These 11 Phrases, She's Probably Bored In Your Marriage
It can be hard to keep the spark in a relationship, but if you pay attention, you can nip a case of boredom in the bud.
mkfilm / Shutterstock Relationships are special. When you first find someone that you’re interested in, entertainment comes easily. You look forward to doing just about anything with them. Even the simplest tasks, like grocery shopping or walking to the local coffee shop, can feel like magic. Falling in love makes everything fun and exciting, but when a marriage grows stale, many people find themselves happier doing these tasks on their own.
Many wives work hard to maintain a healthy, happy relationship, but if your wife says these phrases often, she's probably bored in your marriage. After all, when you have been with the same person for a long time, life can become predictable. It may feel like the same old boring routine day in and day out. She might be afraid to say this out loud. Instead, the way she talks and the energy she puts into the marriage will start to show that she is probably bored in the relationship.
If your wife says these 11 phrases, she's probably bored in your marriage
1. ‘I don’t know’
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Have you ever had a conversation with someone that just went nowhere? You try to get them to participate by asking them questions, and they still have nothing to add. They’ll respond ‘I don’t know’ to everything you say. It’s frustrating, and if you find a woman is doing this, she is likely bored in her relationship.
Not only will she act like this in conversations, but she will also say this phrase when she doesn’t want to do something with her husband. He may ask her to join him somewhere, and if she says, "I don’t know," you can assume she doesn’t want to go. She just doesn’t want to say the words out loud.
2. ‘Whatever you want’
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A wife has grown bored in her marriage when she becomes complacent. She no longer has strong opinions on anything. She isn’t looking for any arguments, so she lets her husband do whatever he wants. She doesn’t want to put energy into the relationship because she is bored, so she lets him take total control. It may seem like she is being a kind wife, but in reality, she is bored.
Women are like cats when it comes to romantic relationships. Familiarity and spending lots of time together tend to cause them to become bored and display signs that their interest is dropping,” says life coach Corey Wayne on Medium. “Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Too much of anything results in a loss of appreciation.”
3. ‘I don’t care’
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A woman who says she doesn’t care about anything going on in the relationship is clearly bored. When a marriage feels predictable, she doesn’t care to make any effort. Her husband may ask her what she thinks, and she will respond with, "I don’t care." It shows just how little effort she is willing to put into the union at this point. She has lost hope that anything will get better.
It might not be that she actually doesn’t care about her husband. It could be as simple as she is angry that he doesn’t listen to her when she explains what she needs to be happier. She knows he could improve things, but he doesn’t put in the effort. She’ll simply reply, "I don’t care," because she has given up all hope. Any husband can improve this situation if they understand the signs.
4. ‘We never do anything fun anymore’
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If a wife tells her husband that she is frustrated, they never do anything fun anymore. This is a clear sign that she is bored in her relationship. Men can be guilty of focusing on other things more than they do their relationship. Whether it’s their career or their personal lives, if a husband constantly fails to keep their marriage exciting, his wife will grow bored.
“When two people commit to each other, life can become monotonous at times, but this can be especially problematic if you and your partner never try new things together. If done to the extreme, falling into a predictable routine can send you straight toward relationship boredom,” says Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz, Licensed Clinical Social Worker. “If your partner bores you, you might notice that you have more fun doing things independently rather than with your partner. You may even intentionally make plans on your own, doing hobbies that you enjoy, rather than inviting your partner to join you.”
5. ‘We don’t even feel like friends anymore’
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When the initial flame in a relationship fizzles out, it can feel frustrating. You might stop feeling like partners and start feeling like friends. What happens when even the feeling fades? What if you don’t have the patience to maintain the most minimal parts of a relationship? If a wife doesn’t enjoy spending time with her husband anymore, she might mention how she doesn’t even feel like his friend anymore, let alone his wife.
We’ve all heard of the roommate phase. This is a period in a relationship when the excitement fades, and you start sharing your space with them instead of sharing your life as a couple. This is a frustrating period in a romance. It can lead to divorce if the couple cannot resolve the situation. If a wife feels more like a roommate than a romantic partner, she will let her husband know that she is bored in their marriage.
6. ‘Do you notice me?’
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Since a long-term relationship can feel stale at certain points, a husband may stop noticing things about his wife. Maybe she got her hair done, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Or, she got a new outfit and is hopeful he will compliment her. When that doesn’t happen, she will grow upset. When this goes on for too long, she will become bored with her partner.
“Along with our vows, we believe that we have already found a partner who will be with us through thick and thin and will never let us feel that we’re lonely or alone, but what if you find yourself yearning to get your spouse to notice you?” says Sylvia Smith. “Some men might mistake the lack of time and attention in a relationship as overly dramatic, like women love attention and can’t go a day without it, but that’s not entirely true.”
7. ‘I’m too tired’
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If a man tries to make an effort with his wife, she may claim she is too tired to do anything with him. At this point, she is so bored that his attempt to do something new with him has come too late. This could be something like planning a date with her. She might say she had a long day and is too tired to hang out. It will be a clear sign that she isn’t interested in hanging out with him anymore.
Likely, she wanted her husband to plan these things long before he tried. She may have grown tired of constantly asking for something new and exciting. When he finally takes the hint, it’s likely too late. She might use the phrase ‘I’m too tired’ to get out of hanging out with him.
8. ‘Let’s do something different’
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Although a routine can be helpful, let’s face it, they can become boring. Maybe every day you go to work, come home, cook dinner, watch TV, and then go to bed. Doing the same thing day in and day out will make any wife bored. She is likely seeking more, and if she uses the phrase, "Let’s do something different," she’s probably bored and wants you to make more of an effort.
“Wives want you to be their partner in making decisions, raising children, and planning for the future. With conflicting work schedules, sports, and other family commitments, it’s too easy to slip into survival mode with one another. Wives don’t want to do life alone; they want to live it with you,” says Eric Spier for All Pro Dad. She will start asking to do something different to show how bored she is.
9. ‘I don’t feel close to you anymore’
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This can be a heartbreaking thing to hear from a wife. When she is stuck in a boring marriage, she may have a hard time feeling close to her partner. She will want to do everything she can to maintain the relationship, and if she is using this phrase, it is clear she wants something to change. She likely wants to feel close to her partner still, but she has grown bored.
This phrase can help let a husband know that he is in hot water with his wife. Once she says this, the ball is in his court to make the effort needed to improve their marriage. If he isn’t willing to put the work in, she may grow bored enough that she leaves entirely. A man may look back on hearing this phrase and realize he didn’t do anything to strengthen their bond.
10. ‘Let’s talk’
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I don’t know about you, but a few things fill me with more anxiety than this phrase. If someone says this to me, I will instantly assume that they are upset with me and I am about to get bad news. When a woman is bored in her marriage, she will say this phrase, but it won’t always mean that she’s mad at her husband. She may want to have an open conversation about what’s happening in the partnership that is making her feel bored.
If she wants to talk to her husband about things she feels are going wrong in her marriage, and he responds well, she may be able to ditch her boredom. In all of these situations, some hard work on the husband's part can change everything for the better. Unfortunately, those who don’t listen will end up with an unhappy and bored wife who may choose to take her heart elsewhere.
11. ‘I do everything around here’
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Let’s face it, a lot of responsibility falls on women. A wife in a relationship may struggle to feel appreciated. When her husband puts little effort into their family, she will grow bored with her daily routine. She will want him to know just how exhausted she is. She’ll say, "I do everything around here," to give her husband a chance to remedy the situation. If he doesn’t, she’s probably bored and tired in her marriage.
“This imbalance of emotional labour — the invisible work that ensures a household runs smoothly — was eroding my marriage. I felt like the CEO of Twins Inc., a startup company my husband and I had founded together, but now I was running it solo,” says Jennifer Chen for Today’s Parent in an article about how doing too much emotional labor led to boredom and resentment in her marriage after they became parents.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
