If A Woman Feels Drained By Her Relationship, She'll Almost Always Start Doing These 11 Things
Motortion Films / Shutterstock Relationships are not easy. Many of us are willing to give them everything they can. Through the good and the bad, women are notorious for putting up with anything to maintain a happy relationship. However, even the most patient woman can find it’s time to move on when she starts to feel drained every day.
Emotionally draining relationships often feel one-sided. One partner may be putting in more effort than the other. The lack of reciprocity can take its toll. A woman may get fed up with her relationship when her partner starts ignoring her feelings and holding her to unrealistic expectations. Sometimes, these little things unfold over time. Eventually, she can become so drained by the relationship that she will start pulling away. Her behavior will give signs.
If a woman feels drained by her relationship, she'll almost always start doing these 11 things
1. She’ll give him the silent treatment
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If a woman begins to feel drained by her relationship, she may shut down all conversations. When she’s upset, the last person she wants to talk to is the person draining her. The silent treatment tells her partner how he feels without saying anything. She may not have the patience to talk through her feelings. She just wants him to leave her alone because his behavior brings her down.
Instead of letting him in, she may push him away. While the silent treatment may seem effective, it can cause more problems than good. A woman who gives her partner the silent treatment may be feeling drained and unable to put her feelings into words at that moment.
2. She becomes irritable
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We all go through irritable periods in our lives. It could be a day when we woke up on the wrong side of the bed or a lack of patience for the world around us. Irritability can be stressful. When someone is drained by their relationship, it isn’t surprising that they may become irritable. They are likely at their breaking point. They may have a hard time keeping their cool when they feel hurt.
A relationship can take its toll when one person puts in more effort than the other. A woman can become irritable with her partner when she feels he is not participating equally. She may not have her needs met, and her patience for him may become nonexistent.
3. She detaches emotionally
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Women who are drained by their relationship may detach emotionally. This can be a sign that she is slowly planning to leave. She is moving on emotionally before she walks away physically. It’s not easy to maintain a happy relationship with someone when you are exhausted by their daily behavior. Instead of making an effort to connect with him, she may choose to emotionally remove herself.
Emotional detachment can be a side effect of a traumatic event. If her partner hurts her, she can shut down to protect herself. It’s easier for her to disconnect than allow herself to keep feeling drained.
4. She neglects self-care
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At the end of a long day, self-care can be the last thing on a woman’s mind. When she is in an emotionally draining relationship, she may be too exhausted to focus on herself. This can make her grow resentful. She may already feel like she dedicates her life to this relationship, and being unable to do something for herself can feel oppressive. She might not have any time to herself.
She may feel emotionally neglected. While she dedicates time to helping her partner, he may leave her without any support. When this happens, she can become overwhelmed by her emotions. She may stop taking care of herself because she doesn’t have the capacity for anything else.
5. She focuses on her own needs
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We’ve all been in a relationship that left us feeling drained. It takes its toll. When someone continues to suck the life out of you, you’ll likely want to stop focusing on that person. If a man is bringing a woman down every day, she may find it easier to pour everything into her own needs instead of giving her relationship all she has. It’s not easy for many women to put themselves first. They’ve been told by society to be natural caretakers.
When a woman starts focusing on her own needs, it’s a sign that her relationship could be giving her more stress than happiness. She may be more willing to walk away than before.
6. She complains about being lonely
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In a complicated relationship, you can feel lonely even if someone is there. It’s often a sign that her emotional needs aren’t getting met. Emotional connection can fade in a relationship. When one partner feels like they are carrying the bulk of the weight in a relationship, it can feel like they are alone. They may not feel the same connection with their partner that they once did.
Loneliness in a relationship can stem from a lack of communication. If you notice a woman is starting to talk about how lonely she feels in her relationship, it can be a sign that she feels drained.
7. She lowers her expectations
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Being let down is a hurtful experience. When someone you love continues to leave you hanging in a relationship, it can drive a wedge between you. While high expectations can sabotage a relationship, having the bare minimum left unmet can also cause strain. If a woman begins to lower her expectations, it could be because she is sick of being let down. She is drained.
Being drained can lead to lower expectations since she has come to doubt her partner’s ability to make her happy. Eventually, her expectations will grow so small that her only option may be to walk away completely.
8. She prepares to leave
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It’s not uncommon for women to mentally check out of a relationship before they choose to leave for good. Ending a relationship is not easy. She may feel it’s her only option after spending too much time being drained by the person she loves. She’ll show her unhappiness in her behavior, and may follow it up with calling it quits altogether. This is a sign that the exhaustion of maintaining the relationship has finally caught up with her.
"Along the way, perceptions of the partner’s intentions to stay or go can be just as important to an individual’s decision to leave as the partner’s own self-awareness. If you believe your partner to be getting ready to pack their bags, maybe you’ll start hauling your suitcases out of storage," says Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, ABPP.
9. She stops initiating conversations
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If she isn’t giving her partner the full silent treatment, she may make it difficult to have a conversation with him altogether. She may be the partner who carries the conversation. Instead of engaging, she will become more distant. She might start conversations with him to keep the peace, but if he notices she is less chatty than usual, it could be a sign that she is drained.
Likely, the conversations they have played a role in why she is constantly drained. Whether he talks about himself too much or always leaves her feeling bad about herself, it’s not enjoyable to talk to him. He will notice there is less banter in the home.
10. She seeks distractions
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In the past, I’ve been that woman in a draining relationship. Everything about my situation left me feeling exhausted. Instead of prioritizing time with my then-partner, I would seek out any distraction I could. If a friend invited me to do anything, even if it was something I would usually say no to, I would jump on it. I got into new hobbies to avoid having draining conversations. It was something that felt like a necessity at that moment.
Escapism can feel like the only way to find relief from stressful moments in their relationship. Whether it’s watching too much TV or spending more time outside the house than usual, these are signs a woman is seeking distractions because her relationship has become too draining.
11. She neglects her routine
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Have you found yourself in a rut? Doing anything feels like it takes all of your energy. When you are in a draining relationship, it can feel impossible to get tasks done. Emotional exhaustion can impact every aspect of your life. This could leave a woman without the energy to do her routine. That means cooking, cleaning, and taking care of things may fall to the side. She is too drained to do what is expected of her.
From managing their household and their career to maintaining a happy relationship, it’s already overwhelming to be a woman. When her relationship adds to her exhaustion, it’s no surprise that her routines around the house may get neglected.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
