If Someone Is Destined To Be In Your Life Forever, You'll Notice These 11 Rare Things
Svitlana Sokolova | Shutterstock Over the course of a lifetime, we meet a countless amount of people that we are bound to love, appreciate and eventually lose track of. We'll break ties with those who hurt us and rediscover people who we never thought would return. We'll make deep, lasting friendships along with friendships that are more fleeting. But if someone is destined to be in your life forever, you're probably notice these rare things.
All relationships require commitment and communication, whether they're romantic, platonic, or even professional and these people destined to be in your life forever are no exception. When you have a true connection to someone, it can be tempting to take them for granted, yet caring for people is a practice. Love is an action word. Much like flowers, relationships won't bloom unless they're tended to with compassion. So when you meet someone whom you believe is destined to be in your life forever, be sure you appreciate how rare and special they are.
If someone is destined to be in your life forever, you'll notice these 11 rare things
1. They hype you up in good times and bad
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A sign someone is destined to be in your life forever is that they offer you unconditional support and encouragement. They're your wingman, your hype girl (or guy) and your cheerleader, through both good times and bad. They lift you up when you're down and fly alongside you, and together, you can touch the stars.
They tell you that you look good — no, you look great! — when you're really glowing. They text you back. They listen to your deepest fears and they soothe your anxieties. They don't laugh when you tell them how scared you are of getting lost in outer space, they just assure you that you could find your way back home. As an added bonus, giving genuine compliments are shown to benefit the person giving them, too!
They believe in you wholeheartedly, even when you don't believe in yourself. Their love is a light post, guiding you from the dark. They come over with gallons of ice cream and a mountain of tissues when you're going through a breakup, and they don't care when you skip the tissues and weep on their shoulder instead.
They tell you that you're worth loving and you know them well enough to know that they're telling the truth.
2. They accept your flaws
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When someone is destined to be in your life forever, they accept you for exactly who you are, without expecting you to change. They know the worst, darkest, messiest parts of you. And guess what? They're not going anywhere.
They don't judge you for making mistakes, as long as you aim for repair. They know that no one is perfect and that someone who pretends to be perfect won't revel in the inevitable fallibility of being human. As Andrea Miller, author of the book Radical Acceptance, reveals, basing relationships around the concept of radical acceptance is an incredibly valuable way to care for someone, and ultimately, for yourself, as well.
Miller shares that "Radical acceptance means loving someone fully for who he or she really is — flaws, shortcomings, weaknesses, and all. It is loving without judgment... To radically accept someone means: I know of your flaws, failures, weaknesses, and shortcomings. I still love you, here and now."
3. You grow together
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You and the person meant to be in your life forever are able to grow in your relationship, both individually and together. This is a unique and very special quality reserved for those special forever-destined friendships and loves.
Research has shown that self-expansion, or the desire to grow and improve as an individual, is essential to relationship longevity. One study from the The Oxford Handbook of Close Relationships found that couples with self-expansion tend to have better relationships, and often report increased relationship satisfaction and commitment.
Loving someone deeply means encouraging them to set goals and pursue their dreams. They want you to be the best version of you, so they push you to challenge yourself in a gentle, compassionate way.
They inspire you to think outside of your own perspective. They stand beside you when change brings discomfort along with it. They're committed to self-reflection, because they know that personal growth requires them to look deeply at their own patterns and how they treat themselves and others. They're always evolving, and you evolve with them.
The place where your relationship started isn't the same as where it is now or where it will go, but you're moving through life together, ready for whatever comes next.
4. They're vulnerable with you
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Someone who's destined to be in your life forever will show their vulnerable side, even though it's scary. They know that true connection is built on being open and sharing how they feel. As Terry Gaspard, a licensed clinical social worker, explains, vulnerability is the most important emotional quality in a relationship.
"The act of falling in love is the ultimate risk," Gaspard revealed. "Love is uncertain. It's inherently risky because our partner could leave without a moment's notice, betray us, or stop loving us."
"For many, a fear of intimacy may translate into testing a relationship by picking a partner who is wrong for them," she explained. "People play it safe by distancing themselves."
When someone is destined to be in your life, they collapse whatever distance exists by sharing their most authentic selves, and expecting that you'll meet them there, in that soft space where two people push beyond their fears and open up to each other. "While all relationships present risks, they are risks worth taking," Gaspard concluded.
Someone who's destined to be in your life forever is ready to jump into the vast unknown of their feelings, with you.
5. They show up when you need them
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Someone meant to be in your life is reliable and present. They show up, period, full stop, end of sentence. They show up when you're at your lowest, and they show up when you're shining. They celebrate your wins without a glimmer of envy, because they know that when you're at your best, they are, too. They inspire you to be your fullest self, and being around them just feels right.
They meet you where you're at, without judgment. Unlike a toxic friendship that drains your energy, when someone is destined to be in your life, their presence empowers you, letting you know that you're always enough, just as you are.
6. They make you feel safe
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Having a sense of safety and mutual trust are signs that someone is destined to be in your life forever. You find comfort just from being around them, and you feel fully seen, heard, and understood. When this is someone you're falling in love with, this is a feeling of a truly destined form of true love.
Certified life coach Mitzi Bockmann explaines that a lasting relationship requires both partners to meet each other's emotional needs. She shared that direct communication is a cornerstone of having a healthy relationship, noting that "A key part of communication is knowing that your partner feels heard."
Bockmann acknowledged that "One person can't be all things to another person," yet she emphasized that "one person should make every effort to take care of the needs of the person they love."
According to Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., feeling safe means making sure that security is present even when you disagree. "The key in a strong relationship is not to be fearful of conflict," he explains. "You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right."
7. They're honest with you
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Honesty is a foundational aspect of keeping up a strong connection with someone. The authors of the book Getting It Right This Time, Orna and Matthew Walters, share the various ways that true honesty allows real love to flourish, even in times of conflict.
They reveal that people create connections through authenticity, noting that "Allowing yourself to be fully seen requires some courage and practice, particularly when there's a conflict ensuing... By sharing your inner world and being honest and authentic about what's going on with you, you create an invitation for your partner to share their own truth."
They acknowledged that "You're not responsible for your partner's healing, nor is your partner responsible for yours. However, you can create an environment where you learn to love and accept each other exactly as you are, not expecting or needing each other to change."
Being honest with yourself, first, paves the way for two people to be honest with each other. Someone who's destined to be in your life forever shows their commitment by sharing themselves with you, and being honest in a graceful and generous way.
8. You share core values
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Many people grow apart because the paths their lives take diverge, yet sharing core values is a sign someone is destined to be in your life forever. If what you want out of life aligns with the things your partner wants, you'll be prepared to weather the inevitable storm and come out the other side stronger.
A study from Utah State University determined that couples with shared values have higher marital satisfaction when compared to those who don't. Couples with the same values also tend to argue less and enjoy their marriage more.
While it's important to cultivate your individual goals, having similar beliefs and expectations helps people stay together long-term. Being on the same wavelength about the direction you want to move in is essential to feeling safe and nurtured within your relationship.
If you're a weaver who wants to raise a flock of sheep upstate New York but your husband is a high-powered lawyer who works at a firm in Manhattan, the likelihood of your life goals syncing up is fairly low. This is especially true if you are, at heart, anti-consumption and he finds value in accruing wealth.
All relationships require some amount of compromise, but the give and take shouldn't be so huge that you disappear. If your fundamental outlook on life runs parallel to how your partner sees their place in the world, they are meant to be in your life forever.
9. They prioritize your happiness
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While it's essential for people to set boundaries and tend to their own needs for a relationship to last, someone who prioritizes your happiness is key to someone staying in your life forever. They don't neglect their own sources of joy to meet yours, but they do consider what makes you happy and they put in the work to meet you there. This grows a dynamic of interdependence, which is very different from codependence and even independence.
They show their love for you in an actionable way, which means they hear how you want to be cared for and follow through on those things. If you tell them that getting flowers makes you happy, they'll bring you bouquets. They don't just say they love you, they show you just how deep their love flows.
Someone who is meant to be in your life forever celebrates your successes without comparing what they have to what you have. They share your wins, because your happiness is genuinely important to them. Your happiness brings them joy, but they don't need you to be happy in order to be happy themselves.
10. They focus on forgiveness
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Someone who is destined to be in your life forever focuses on forgiveness instead of holding grudges. They know that everyone makes mistakes. They understand that a relationship isn't defined by disagreements, but rather, how two people come together to work through conflict.
In an interview on the American Psychological Association's podcast, psychology professor Robert Enright spoke about the power that forgiveness can have, explaining that staying open to the idea of forgiving someone who's caused you harm leads you to think about them in a new way.
"You see that they're more than the injustice against you. You see their personhood, is what you do," he said. "That's when the healing starts to begin in the heart of the forgiver, which leads to finding new meaning and purpose in your own life."
They hold themselves accountable for hurting you. They come to you with a true apology, but more than that, they come with a plan for changing their behavior. They place forgiveness at the center of the relationship they share with you, which is how you know they're destined to be in your life forever.
11. You laugh together
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11. You laugh together
A person meant to be in your life genuinely enjoys spending time with you. Laughing together is a sign someone is meant for you, because it means that you're reveling in the more joyful parts of life.
Over the years, numerous research studies have shown that laughter is essential to relationship satisfaction. A poll from CBS News found that one in 10 people say a sense of humor is most important when building a successful marriage. Additional 2018 research revealed that people in romantic relationships for one to five years said that a sense of humor outranked ambition, attractiveness, and even an exciting personality.
Relationships thrive on direct, honest communication and sharing how you feel, yet they also need lightness and laughter. Someone who's destined to be in your life can make you laugh so hard you snort. They make you laugh until you're weeping and gasping for air.
All relationships are bound to hit low points, but the tough times shouldn't overshadow the good parts. Humor often functions as a salve, healing the wounds we hold. Being able to find humor in the harder parts of life just shows how much you're meant to have this person in your life.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
