If A Man Feels Unappreciated, He’ll Withdraw In These 11 Predictable Ways
Men often distance themselves when they feel taken for granted.
LightField Studios / Shutterstock When a man feels unappreciated in his romantic relationships and friendships, he will begin to withdraw. There are several ways that he will distance himself from others whom he feels are taking him for granted.
These will typically be ways that he physically distances himself, but they are more for his emotional well-being than anything else. By constantly having to deal with the emotions that are caused by other people overlooking his efforts, he will become overwhelmed by these emotions and will need to separate himself in order to protect himself.
If a man feels unappreciated, he’ll withdraw in these 11 predictable ways
1. Being emotionally distant
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When a man feels unappreciated, he will likely withdraw by becoming very emotionally distant. If he feels like his efforts are going unnoticed, he will become frustrated and disconnected from the relationship.
A man who feels like he is not contributing to the happiness of the other person in the relationship or that nothing he does is good enough, will want to retreat inward, explains Laura Amador, a certified relationship coach. He will stop wanting to engage in deep, emotional conversations and instead close himself off to protect himself from further disappointment.
2. Avoiding conflict
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A man who feels unappreciated within a relationship will often withdraw by avoiding conflict. He already feels rejected and inadequate, so he fears that, by voicing his feelings, he’d only be increasing these negative emotions.
“Men are hesitant to speak up about their needs in relationships because they worry that speaking up will make things worse, maybe even much worse. Men’s fear of abandonment in relationships is perhaps most visible in the lengths that men will go to avoid conflict in their relationships,” notes Avrum Weiss, Ph.D., a psychotherapist.
3. Having less contact with friends
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When a man feels unappreciated, he may withdraw by having less contact with friends. If he feels undervalued in these relationships, he will start looking at putting in effort as pointless.
If he feels like the friendships are all one-sided, he will grow tired of putting in effort that is never reciprocated. To protect themselves from the emotional toll this feeling causes, they would prefer to distance themselves.
4. Putting less effort into his relationships
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A man who feels unappreciated will typically start putting less effort into his relationships as a way to withdraw. He may start feeling resentful because his needs are not being met in the same way that he always tries to meet everyone else’s.
If he feels like people in his relationships never deeply feel and appreciate his efforts, he will want to stop trying. He likely just wants others to do little things that show that they care for him and are not taking advantage of him. If this were to happen, he would experience a boost of energy to put effort into his relationships.
5. Ceasing to share his feelings
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A man wants to feel like the efforts and investments he puts into a relationship are valued and appreciated. If he does not feel appreciated, he will stop sharing his feelings.
He will view sharing his feelings as a vulnerable act that he will not want to commit to if he feels like it will be overlooked by others. For him to feel comfortable opening up about his emotions, he would need others to validate his feelings by actively listening to him and recognizing his efforts.
6. No longer initiating plans
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If a man feels unappreciated, he will withdraw from certain relationships by no longer initiating plans. Constantly feeling a lack of appreciation will likely lead to him feeling resentful and unmotivated to put effort into relationships.
By no longer initiating plans, he will feel like he is protecting himself from further disappointment. He may feel that discussing with others how their lack of recognition for his efforts makes him feel would do no good, so instead, he will slowly back away from the relationship and limit his efforts.
7. Avoiding difficult conversations
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If a man feels as though his efforts are unappreciated, he may avoid difficult conversations. This could be a form of defensive or avoidant silence that he participates in due to a fear of further judgment or abandonment.
In hopes of protecting himself from the emotional pain that he feels when he is overlooked, he will stay silent and aim to physically distance himself when there is a chance that a difficult conversation could occur. These conversations likely make him feel uncomfortable because he feels like he would not be able to express himself without feeling invalidated.
8. Avoiding physical affection
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A man may avoid physical affection as a way to withdraw if his relationship is making him feel unappreciated. Feeling taken for granted will cause him to create barriers and not allow physical or emotional intimacy to occur between him and his partner.
He may no longer feel comfortable acting affectionate toward his partner because it feels too vulnerable. The more the physical connection between him and his partner decreases, the more their emotional connection will suffer.
9. Spending less quality time with others
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If a man has had to experience feeling unappreciated in a relationship for a while, he may get to the point where he wants to distance himself. When this is the case, he will likely start spending less quality time with others.
Instead of continuing to put effort into people who seem to be taking him for granted, he will try to work on feeling more content on his own. The emotional validation he originally was seeking from the relationships he has will now be something he tries to find within himself.
10. Becoming resentful and disconnected
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When a man feels unappreciated, it can significantly impact his emotions, leading him to become resentful and disconnected. This will likely have a negative impact on their bond with others.
“Feeling unappreciated means that your self-esteem and emotions could be affected, potentially causing you to feel bad and creating conflict in your relationship. Feeling appreciated by people you are close to, such as your partner, children, or family members, can be essential to maintaining strong bonds,” according to BetterHelp, a team of licensed therapists dedicated to providing individuals with affordable and personalized online therapy.
11. Staying out later
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A man who feels unappreciated will typically withdraw from certain relationships by staying out later than he typically would. He may be trying to develop connections with other people who may actually appreciate the effort he puts into his relationships.
By seeking validation elsewhere, he may be hoping to feel acknowledged and valued, which would ultimately positively benefit his self-worth. While not all men may do these things if they are unappreciated, many will when they feel a need to withdraw from relationships that they feel are no longer serving them.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
