'I Never Thought I’d Tell Them' — 5 Couples Share The Secret That Almost Broke Them
Some things just have to remain unspoken.
Tony Frost | Unsplash No matter how much we love our other half, there are things we can't tell them. Relationships are supposed to be all about honesty, but sometimes, life gets in the way, and you don't want to ruin the good thing you have. It's tough, but you should never have secrets in relationships because all it does is lead to more hurt later on when they find out from someone else. Research indicates that preoccupation with secrets can be associated with lower relationship satisfaction, reduced trust, and decreased emotional intimacy.
Remember, they should hear it from you first, even if it's not the best news. Plus, it shows that you respect them by telling them. Whether it's money, legal worries, or a man from the past, some of the couples we surveyed had some doozies they've kept quiet ... until now!
Here, five couples share the secret that almost broke them:
1. They had romantic dreams about someone else
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"I don't think we've kept big secrets. There have been shopping trips when I didn't disclose the total bill or times when he saved up money to surprise me with a gift (this was a secret because our money goes into one account).
There have been dreams I've kept from him and I'm sure he's kept some from me. It's something you can't control, so why tell your husband that you spent the night with Gerard Butler?"
2. They tried to shield each other from personal stress
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"I see no reason to involve him in my drama or stress him out with stuff that's not his problem. I probably can't take that attitude once we're actually married, but for now, our bank accounts are separate and our freak-outs about them should be as well."
3. They lied about how much money they made
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"When we started living with each other, I lied about my monthly income so that I had a little cushion for shopping. When we recently bought our house, he found out and I had to come clean. He was good about it but I shouldn't have lied."
4.They kept in contact with an ex
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"There isn't too much — lots of birthday secret surprises, parties, and gifts — nothing too crazy or exciting. The most scandalous thing is that I still talk to my ex: the big one before the hubby came along. I think my spouse would hit the roof if he found out."
5. They hid how bad the money problems really were
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"His biggest secret was his cheating on me. But mine was that I hid how bad our financial state really was, until the car got repoed and he thought it was stolen and I had to explain the real situation. I would think cheating and money would be the two biggest lies you will ever find out about in a relationship, but I was wrong."
Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyle writer who focuses on health, wellness, and relationships. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly.
