If Your Husband Does These 11 Things After Work, He's Emotionally Exhausted
AndreaLopz | Shutterstock Emotional exhaustion happens when someone feels overwhelmed by work-related stress. This makes them feel burned out, and they usually start doing things to try to cope with their feelings.
When your husband gets off work, if he engages in more activities by himself, requires less affection, and does things that help him escape the way he feels, he may be struggling with emotional exhaustion. He will do these things to help him get his emotions under control and develop habits that will help him regulate the way he feels.
If your husband does these 11 things after work, he's emotionally exhausted:
1. Seeks solitude
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One of the first things your husband may do after work is seek solitude if he feels emotionally exhausted. Men who feel emotionally drained will typically need to take time to reset and calm their nervous system, which are two benefits of making time for solitude.
Studies have shown that when people are alone, they are able to regulate their emotions more effectively. When a person feels emotionally exhausted, it is usually the result of them feeling overwhelmed by emotions like stress and irritability, so anytime that they can take to manage these feelings, they will do so.
2. Listens to music
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Music can be a powerful tool for helping someone regulate their mood. By listening to music often, they're able to overcome mental fatigue, experience a dopamine-driven reward, and feel their stress being relieved. This is the main reason why your husband will listen to music as soon as he gets off work if he feels emotionally exhausted.
A 2024 study found that music emotion regulation (MER) is a catalyst and regulatory medium that helps to act as a strategy for people who need assistance with regulating and managing their emotions. The emotions that music provides in itself can at times prove to be beneficial in helping them escape their own overwhelming emotions and feel different emotions for a while.
3. Zones out on the sofa
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The mental overload that occurs when a person is emotionally exhausted may commonly influence them to zone out. This acts as the brain’s way of coping with stress and allowing for self-reflection and for energy to be conserved.
When work is causing your husband to feel emotionally drained, he will likely zone out as a way to psychologically detach from the stressful work-related tasks he is responsible for, according to research. This is his way of coping with the exhaustion he feels from work-related demands.
4. Wants to eat alone
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Emotional exhaustion causes a person to crave a low-demand environment. This will usually influence them to withdraw from social interactions, like eating dinner with their family. Your husband, if he is dealing with emotional exhaustion, is very likely to request to eat alone.
Eating alone may also provide him with a sense of comfort, and it can cause self-soothing feelings. When people feel overwhelmed by emotions, they often find that eating can numb some of these feelings, and by doing it in solitude, it can help them manage some of their stress and indulge in self-reflection.
5. Falls asleep early
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Sleep not only helps the brain restore its energy, but it also plays a crucial role in helping the brain and nervous system process intense emotions and activate calming hormones. When your husband is struggling with emotional exhaustion, you will likely find him falling asleep earlier as a result.
A study in the National Library of Medicine found that sleep encourages optimal regulation of the brain. Getting enough quality sleep is what allows a person to be able to regulate and express emotions effectively. Without it, the brain is not restored and has difficulty functioning properly.
6. Avoids eye contact
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If your husband commonly avoids eye contact with you, this may be his defense mechanism. When his brain is overstimulated and he is having difficulty processing complex emotions, he will try to do anything he can to conserve energy and avoid taking on any more emotional load.
He may view this defense mechanism as his way of staying resilient against serious mental health struggles that usually result from emotional exhaustion. A 2020 study found that resilience effectively fights certain stressful emotions and is typically not associated with further burnout and emotional exhaustion.
7. Takes a long walk
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Emotional exhaustion leaves a person feeling an overwhelming amount of stress that causes them to crave a therapeutic mental escape from the fatigue they are feeling. Due to this, your emotionally exhausted husband will likely take long walks when he gets home from work.
Research shows that long-distance walks typically have a therapeutic effect on a person’s mental health. The study showed that walking in nature greatly promotes someone's well-being and quality of life.
8. Takes a long shower
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When your husband feels emotionally exhausted, he may take longer, hot showers. If his overwhelming feelings are making him feel lonely and distant from social warmth, he may try to psychologically substitute these feelings temporarily by making a habit of taking showers like this.
A Yale University study found that people regulate their social warmth by engaging in physical warmth. When someone's feeling lonely and in need of the emotions and warmth that come from spending time with others, they will take a hot shower, and the physical warmth from it will psychologically trick their brains into thinking they are getting the social warmth that most people require.
9. Does simple chores
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People who are dealing with emotional exhaustion will typically use doing simple chores as a coping mechanism. If you notice your husband doing this, it may be his way of aiming to regain a sense of control and calmness through easy and repetitive actions.
Research has found that healthy amounts of repetitive tasks can actually help a person regain focus and reduce their anxiety. This is major for a person who struggles with emotional exhaustion because anything that can help regulate their emotions and manage negative feelings has a great impact on their overall well-being.
10. Needs brief physical affection
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While many people who deal with emotional exhaustion crave solitude, they also typically need brief physical affection. The body releases love hormones like oxytocin and lowers stress hormones when physical touch from a loved one occurs.
If your husband seems to need just a small and quick amount of physical affection, he may be feeling emotionally exhausted. Studies have shown that touch soothes a person and aids in helping calm their cardiovascular stress.
Emotional exhaustion usually makes someone feel like they have to keep their defenses up at all times in order to protect themselves from more emotional turmoil. When they are shown physical affection, this part of the brain that triggers defense mechanisms switches off, meaning they're able to actually relax.
11. Scrolls social media
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Scrolling social media is often used by people as a way to escape their negative emotions. Research highlights that, although your husband may do this as a way to distract himself from his emotional exhaustion, it is actually negatively impacting his mental health.
This study states that when a person avoids dealing with their feelings, this avoidance makes them more vulnerable to mental health struggles like anxiety, depression, and more. Emotional regulation is key when it comes to ensuring a person’s mental health is balanced.
While you may initially feel that your husband doing these things after work is a sign that maybe he is having issues with you, take a step back and view his behavior from the perspective that he may be dealing with emotional exhaustion from work.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
