5 Green Flags That Say 'They’re Totally Into You' (Emotionally, Not Just Physically)
They don't just want you — they see you.
Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock You might have experienced this before, where you meet a person and you feel a deep emotional connection to them. You don't even have to feel physically attracted to them to feel it, and you might be wondering what that's called.
Well, whatever it is, when you get the sense of a deep connection to someone you just met, it's called emotional attraction. You're emotionally attracted to a person when you somehow feel like you've known them forever, or the two of you are captivated by each other's heart, mind, or humor.
Here are 5 green flags that say 'they’re totally into you' (emotionally, not just physically):
1. You feel like they get you
This is probably one of the clearest signs that a person is emotionally attracted to you because they will just be able to get you and understand you so easily. It will be like a secure nature, and you might even feel like you've known this person for way longer than you actually have.
Relationship expert and therapist Lisa Rabinowitz likes the Gottman Institute’s definition of emotional attraction, which is “being attracted not just to your partner's body, but also to their hearts, minds, and dreams." Rabinowitz added, "Physical attraction is important, but emotional attraction deepens the connection between partners and is important for long-term relationships."
2. You can't stop thinking about them
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This is also another sign that you have formed an emotional attraction to someone because you don't want to stop talking to them. After all, when you're not with them, all you're thinking about is actually talking to them and wanting to get to know more about them.
According to hypnotherapist Keya Murthy, emotional attraction is a feeling you feel, and you might not know why. "You know this person, and you might share common interests or come from different worlds and have no common interests," Murthy says. "Emotional attraction has an awe factor involved."
Emotional attraction can form a deeper emotional connection and is a different type of attraction from physical attraction. When you have an emotional attraction to someone, it doesn't just mean you are attracted to someone's intelligence and conversation, but the two of you have a special bond because you are connected in a special and undeniable way. The two of you see your attraction grow the more you get to know one another.
3. You have conversations that never end
The only time you need to stop the conversation between the two of you is when you become so tired that you need sleep. That's because the two of you could talk all day and all night long if that were possible. The two of you always have something to talk about with each other, and the conversation never gets dull.
4. You love their personality, not just their physicality
When you have an emotional attraction to somebody, you are also attracted to things that they have which you yourself might lack or wish you had. There is a high level of emotional attraction and interest there.
"There is something about the other person that you admire, and so does the other person in you. This admiration comes from things you feel you lack. Emotional attraction has a complementary element attached to it," said Murthy.
For men, emotional attraction can be tough, as it can sometimes take a while for them to form an emotional attraction to a woman. However, according to relationship coach Keith Dent, when a man does find an emotional attraction to a woman after they spend time with her, it can be unshakeable.
"You just want to talk and be with that person because there is a sort of excitement and peace that comes when you feel emotionally attracted to someone," Dent explained. "It's a fragile situation for men because you want to make sure you hold onto it, but you don't want to go overboard either in fear of losing the power in the relationship."
5. You can be vulnerable with each other
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This is even more important in romantic relationships, but even in friendships, being vulnerable and open with each other is so important for the relationship to thrive. When the two of you have an emotional connection, vulnerability comes easily and can help the two of you feel mentally attached.
"At times, you are mentally and emotionally attracted to another, and there is little or no physical attraction attached to it. Signs of emotional attraction are when you can tell what the other person is feeling without them saying it, and you are right about it. There is an intuitive component to emotional attraction. You make room for the other person to express their emotions, and all you feel is vulnerability, no judgment, and a lot of compassion," said Murthy.
In relationships, emotional attraction is essential because physical attraction can be fleeting. However, emotional attraction is constant and can last for a very long time. But if a relationship has both emotional and physical attraction, it will be very strong. "Emotional attraction is reflective of a deep connection with someone where you feel truly seen and heard, and that's essential in a relationship and in a partner," concluded Murthy.
Megan Hatch is a writer at YourTango who covers news and entertainment, love and relationships, and internet culture.
