Even True Love Without These 11 Things Is Not Good For You
If your relationship lacks these things, maybe it isn't true love after all.
Impact Photography / Shutterstock Even when you think you’ve finally found true love, there are still several aspects of a relationship that determine whether or not it is a good relationship for you. If you know your boundaries and have established what your needs are, those should be respected and met within the relationship.
If you find that your relationship lacks any of these things, consider talking to your significant other about trying to incorporate these things in your relationship. If your partner still won’t adjust, then maybe it isn’t true love after all.
Even true love without these 11 things is not good for you
1. Constant communication
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Even if the relationship seems like true love, if there is no space for constant, healthy communication, then the relationship may not be as good for you as you thought it was. Constant communication doesn’t mean they have to stay texting you all the time or never give you moments alone. It just means that they should make it a point to connect with you often and update you when they can.
This is especially true when times get more difficult to manage. You need someone who will stick by you through thick and thin and be there for you as someone you know you can lean on for support and love. Without this, you will end up feeling emotionally disconnected and alone in the relationship.
2. Emotional support
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Vulnerability within a relationship is a key factor in making the relationship healthy for both partners. You should feel safe and emotionally supported enough to open up about how you feel and display these feelings whenever they arise. When you feel emotional support, your mental well-being thrives, but without it, it deteriorates.
If every time you try to be authentic about your emotions, your partner shuts you down or tries to pull away from you rather than be the support system you need, the relationship, even if it feels like true love, is not healthy. Likewise, they should also feel comfortable expressing themselves with you instead of getting defensive when asked how they are feeling.
3. Shared responsibility
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Relationships come with many responsibilities and, at times, can be a lot of work. This means that in order for the relationship to truly be healthy, you and your partner need to share the responsibilities. You should never feel like every time you go on a date, it is because you planned it or you’re the only one ever willing to bring up topics that are hard to talk about.
These kinds of things are shared responsibilities, and when they aren’t shared, you risk feeling emotionally burdened. When each partner takes accountability and manages responsibilities within the relationship, it is more difficult for emotional exhaustion to damage the relationship. The weight of the relationship should never fall on your or your partner's shoulders alone.
4. The ability to resolve conflicts
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If every time you and your partner face any kind of conflict, they either get extremely defensive or it results in them becoming overly angry, the relationship is not healthy. In response to conflict, there should be time for resolving the issues at hand.
Without resolving relationship conflicts, the romantic connection will suffer. The more the two of you put off talking about and resolving these issues, the harder those issues and other issues will become to work through.
5. Respect for growth
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A relationship should be conducive to each partner’s growth and development as individuals. If you find that your partner is not supportive of your accomplishments and tries to belittle your aspirations, the relationship ultimately is not good for you.
A lack of mutual support for individual growth leads to a stagnant relationship and issues with self-esteem. Your partner should want you to reach your goals and should celebrate when you do reach them. If they aren’t, there is no depth in the relationship, and your confidence will suffer because they will constantly make you feel like your efforts are not valued.
6. Room for independence
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While a relationship should join two people, their individuality should still remain prominent. If in your relationship you fear being alone and all of the interests you once had are slowly disappearing, you may be in a relationship that is not good for you.
Personal fulfillment is key to staying in touch with yourself, and it also adds depth to your relationships. Without this, you end up feeling a loss of identity, and you begin to question your self-worth. You have to prioritize doing things for yourself.
7. Shared values
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Shared values in a relationship give it a solid foundation and direction. If this isn’t something you find within your relationship, the relationship may not be healthy.
When you share certain values with your partner, the two of you are able to set boundaries, priorities, and ensure satisfaction in the relationship. By doing this, conflict around beliefs and values is reduced, and you will feel less of a negative emotional and mental impact. When you don’t share values in a relationship, you will feel isolated and lose direction.
8. Honored boundaries
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To feel emotional security and a sense of trust and respect in your relationship, boundaries have to be established and honored. If boundaries are not honored, your relationship is not good for you.
When your partner does not honor your boundaries, you will constantly feel overwhelmed, the relationship will feel one-sided, and disrespectful actions will surely occur. You will most likely feel like your needs are not important, and you’ll question the validity of your requests. Both partners in the relationship deserve to have their boundaries respected and should never feel that they are asking too much by creating these boundaries.
9. Joy
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A relationship is supposed to make you feel joyful. If you start realizing that your relationship is more often than not making you feel an absence of joy, it may be a sign that your relationship is no longer good for you.
Staying in a relationship that gives you no joy and feels loveless can have detrimental effects on your mental and emotional health. It can cause you to feel an intense amount of loneliness and lead to serious mental struggles like anxiety and depression.
10. Forgiveness
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When a relationship lacks forgiveness, it can leave both partners feeling trapped in an endless cycle of negative emotions. If you are experiencing this in your relationship, it might be best to leave.
Resentment, bitterness, and other emotions will constantly fill the relationship, and the overall connection will suffer. Both partners will feel as though they cannot trust one another, and it will be significantly harder to grow the relationship without trust.
11. Commitment from both partners
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In any healthy relationship, commitment and loyalty from both partners are key. If you find yourself in a relationship that lacks commitment, you may be in a relationship that is bad for you, especially if you seek a serious and exclusive relationship with your partner. Dealing with a disloyal partner can negatively impact your ability to trust, and it can lower your self-esteem.
It is important to be aware of what you want out of your relationship, and if it seems as though your current relationship is not meeting your needs, it is time to have a serious conversation with your partner. If still nothing has changed, consider choosing to pursue relationships that will meet your wants and needs.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
