4 Behaviors That Scream 'This Date Is Going Really, Really Well'
It's either there from the beginning or it's not.
Strelciuc Dumitru | Canva I've been on my fair share of first dates, a much smaller number of second dates, and only one third date. So, many of my friends have accused me of being too quick to close the door, and I see where they are coming from.
Yet, I'm a firm believer in holding out for the date that screams, "This is going really, really well!" In my experience, it's either screaming from the beginning or it's silent. So what does a really, really good date feel like? There's no single definition, but here are four things I look for on a first date:
Four behaviors that scream 'this date is going really, really well':
1. You are trying way too hard to be cool
When it comes to first dates, I'm generally pretty relaxed. But if I'm really attracted to a person, my mind goes into overdrive and I start overthinking everything.
- Am I chewing too loudly?
- Does this pasta make my nose look weird?
- Why did I tell that somewhat off-putting joke?
If you tend to overthink things, counselor Lianne Avila recommends scheduling time each day to worry, "Set aside 15 minutes at the end of the day, where you can do some serious worrying. Scheduling time to worry is a technique rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy that can help manage excessive worry and prevent overthinking from consuming your day. It involves intentionally setting aside a specific time each day to focus on your worries and anxieties."
2. You find potential flaws endearing
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For someone who is frequently accused of being too picky, when I like a person, they can do no wrong. A few months ago, I went out with a kinda quiet woman, and I had to work really hard to keep the conversation going.
But for whatever reason, I felt a spark between us, and so I thought her shyness was cute as all get out. But I've gone out with other women who didn't have much to say and found it kind of annoying. What can I say? When there's a spark, I change.
3. You want to order dessert
Even when a date isn't working out, I always do my best not to rush things. As relationship coach James Allen Hanrahan advised, "Any semblance of pressure from you can turn them into a major flight risk, and they end up leaving. The essence of courtship is one person getting to know the other. People require space — they just don’t want to ask for it. Knowing this will change your strategy, and you can allow yourself to give space."
But I draw the line at dessert. There's no need to waste time and calories. So when my sweet tooth starts aching, I know I'm hooked.
4. You are listening to happy music on the way home
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Is there a better feeling in the world than driving home after an awesome date and singing along to sappy love songs? I actually take the subway home, so I have to quietly hum along.
What signs do you look for on a first date? How long do you wait for a spark? Can you remember your all-time favorite first date? What was it like? And what music do you listen to after an awesome date?
Erin Meanley and Ryan Dodge are writers who cover dating and relationships for Glamour Magazine's Single-ish column.
