If Your Goal Is To Stop Overthinking Every Little Detail In Life, Say Hello To These 6 Behaviors

We've all been guilty of it. Whether you're beating yourself up about what happened yesterday, or constantly worrying about tomorrow. It's easy to do. You keep running the same old thought process through your head.

"I'm not smart enough. I'm not fit enough. I don't have enough friends or money." As long as you think this way, you will feel stressed out and anxious. A little worrying is alright and even natural. For example, feeling anxious before a big exam or a date with someone you like.

What I'm trying to say is you don't want your overthinking to paralyze you or stop you from achieving your dreams. I see so many people in my practice worrying about the same thing. I tell them: "You can't go back and you can't predict the future." Stay in the present because it is a gift. Enjoy the good times and learn from the bad times.

If your goal is to stop overthinking every little detail in life, say hello to these six behaviors:

1. Ask yourself this one question

"Is this even realistic?" Maybe you shouldn't have said what you said at the meeting. But, does it mean you will be fired? Probably not. We've all done it. Either we said too much or not enough.

Asking this question directly challenges the accuracy and validity of these thoughts, forcing you to evaluate them based on evidence rather than emotions or assumptions. A 2013 study suggests that this process helps separate facts from feelings and identify what is within your control versus what is not, leading to a greater sense of perspective and empowerment.

2. Replace the old script

man whose goal is to stop overthinking by replacing old script LightField Studios / Shutterstock

After you've asked yourself, "Is this realistic?" and answered "no," it's time to erase that old script that is running through your mind. These old messages we have rolling around in our heads started in our childhood.

You could say: "It's alright to make mistakes. I am enough. I am learning or have great wisdom."

The list goes on. You are starting to rewire your brain by doing this. Eventually, this will be a habit, and you will be able to move on much more quickly.

3. Pray

That's right, you don't have to be Christian to pray. You can make up your prayer or say some of the more common ones. One of my favorites is The Serenity Prayer. This prayer is commonly used in 12-step programs. But it can be used for many life situations.

It was introduced to me when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Looking back, I don't know how I would have gotten through that without it.

According to a 2022 study, prayer can offer a mental 'time out' from stressful thoughts and worries, distracting the mind from going down endless rabbit holes. Prayer can also facilitate a shift in perspective, helping individuals to redefine stressors in less threatening ways and derive meaning in the face of hardship.

4. Schedule time for reflection

Take time to remember the good things. For example, the time you spoke up at the meeting and got a good response. You could even keep track of the good things in a journal.

It's alright to think about how you can do things differently in the future. For example, how to make the next meeting more productive or what type of questions to ask. This is a great time to ask for feedback.

A lot of the time, we are worried that people don't like us or what we did. You may be surprised to find out that people respect you and like the work you are doing.

5. Schedule time to worry

woman whose goal is to stop overthinking scheduling time to worry CrizzyStudio / Shutterstock

This may sound wild to you, but it's not. This can be very productive. Set aside 15 minutes at the end of the day, where you can do some serious worrying. This will help you during the day when the worry monster rears its ugly head. Tell that monster you will worry about it later.

You are not going to let the worry monster interfere with the perfectly good day you are having. Then, take a breath and move on.

Scheduling time to worry is a technique rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy that can help manage excessive worry and prevent overthinking from consuming your day. It involves intentionally setting aside a specific time each day to focus on your worries and anxieties. Studies have shown this approach can reduce anxiety levels, improve sleep, and increase focus and productivity.

6. Practice mindfulness

This is about living life in the present. I love mindfulness; I can't say enough about it. I started practicing mindfulness about 16 years ago, and it has changed my life.

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Mindfulness changes the wiring in our brains. It's not to say that I don't have regrets about the past or worry about the future. I just see it much differently. I wish that I had started practicing sooner.

I'm glad to see they offer mindfulness for children and teens. That is a great time to work on changing the wiring in the brain. If you are worried about where to start with it, just stop and take a few deep breaths.

Overthinking can be dangerous. It can prevent you from getting the sleep you need. It can also lead to unnecessary emotional distress.

Now, who needs that? It also takes a lot of time to overthink. Replace the time you overthink with something else. You can go for a walk, listen to music, or call a friend.

Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.