The Art Of A Great Date: 8 Fun Things To Do That Don’t Feel Forced
Dating shouldn't feel like an interview; it should feel fun.
Bishka Nguyen | Unsplash We live in an age of intricate technologies, 24/7 entertainment, and sensory overload — so why is it so tough to think up creative dates? Of course, early in a relationship, you're so smitten that even dinner at Denny's seems exciting.
But when you've done the ho-hum and the humdrum — dinner, a movie, bowling — you crave new ideas to keep things interesting. Here are ideas for great—and mostly cheap—dates that will not only entertain but allow you to get to know your mate in a whole new way.
Here are 8 fun date ideas that don’t feel forced:
1. Stargaze
Few activities are as romantic as gazing up at the stars together, and you can plan this date for most any night, no matter where you live. If you have access to an observatory (many college campuses have them, so check around), head over to check out the facilities.
But even if you don't have a nearby observatory, you can still enjoy the stars. Grab a pair of binoculars (or just gaze sans equipment) and a map of the sky — and sit in the backyard with some light refreshments, pointing out the constellations. You might even see a shooting star.
2. Host a tasting
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Develop sophisticated tasting palates by practicing at home with a variety of wines, beers, or even vodkas. Buy a selection and pour 2-ounce samples of each (less for hard liquor, obviously), then examine them on a variety of levels: clarity, texture, flavor(s), etc.
Rate them on a scale of 1 to 10, according to your enjoyment. (Helpful hint: When sampling, progress from lightest to heaviest—i.e., drink the white zin before the merlot, or the pilsner before the porter.) Not into alcohol? You can do it with coffee, chocolate, or olive oil.
According to psychologist Arthur Aron's self-expansion model, a desire to grow and experience new things is a human motivation that can be satisfied within a relationship. By introducing novel and exciting activities, couples can expand their sense of self and associate this growth with their partner, increasing relationship satisfaction.
3. Take a ride
Nothing gets the blood pumping and the endorphins flowing like an encounter with the unpredictable (and no, we're not talking his mother). Check in your area for the opportunity to ride — horses, a hot air balloon, four-wheelers, motorcycles, or the bumper cars at a carnival.
You may even end up at the local car dealership to test drive a car you have no intention of buying! The point is to go on an adventure together and do something that might be a little dangerous, scary, or silly, something you wouldn't dream of doing on your own.
4. Whip something up
Okay, so maybe the closest you usually get to the kitchen is watching the Food Network. But when you team up with a partner, cooking can be fun (and if the meal is disastrous, both parties get equal blame).
Take a cooking class together to learn how to prepare a few dishes, and set up a second date to try them yourselves at home. No classes nearby? Collect a couple of recipes online or from a cookbook at the library, and prepare them together (grocery shopping included). You'll learn teamwork and, hopefully, eat a fantastic meal in the end.
Cooking together on a date is a good idea because it provides a low-pressure environment for communication, encourages teamwork and vulnerability, and deepens emotional bonds. One study suggested that the focus is on the activity rather than constant conversation, which can ease first-date jitters.
5. Pick your own
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Most seasons of the year allow for pick-your-own opportunities at local farms and orchards: In summer, select juicy peaches; in fall, peruse a pumpkin patch or apple orchard; during winter, check out a Christmas tree farm. Find a place in your area where you can pick your own fruits or vegetables and head out in casual clothes for laid-back fun.
Or try the "civilized" version: Visit a local farmers market to select locally grown fruits and veggies at the peak of ripeness. Make a dish with the ingredients that night, and you've fashioned a full day of entertainment.
6. Go treasure hunting
Go on a "junk hunt": Set aside a Saturday or Sunday to scan local antique stores, flea markets, thrift stores, and/or garage sales, looking for the "trash" that can turn into your treasure. Where else can you find a 1980s-era portable phone, a never-used Ginsu knife, and a Nelson CD in one place?
You'll probably score some great deals, laugh a lot at outdated appliances and fashions, and learn plenty about your partner's tastes. Feel like a challenge? Make a deal to buy each other the goofiest present you can find for $3 or less. After shopping, exchange gifts and brainstorm to find a way to put what you've bought to good use.
Solving clues and moving closer to the "treasure" triggers the release of dopamine in the brain, creating a sense of pleasure and reward. A study by SUNY Stony Brook found that sharing this positive feeling with a partner strengthens the association of happiness with their presence.
7. Indulge in a spa day
Spas are excellent sources of renewal, relaxation, and togetherness — and no one has to say a word! Book a couples massage at a local salon or spa, or (if your man hopped on the metrosexual bandwagon a few years back) try side-by-side manicure/pedicure treatments.
If you lack the bucks for the professional touch, set up a spa day at home: Pick up a pretty-smelling lotion or oil and read up on basic massage techniques to give each other almost-expert full-body massages by candlelight.
Spa treatments that involve physical touch, such as a couples massage, stimulate the release of oxytocin, which promotes feelings of trust, affection, and emotional safety. Research also shows that synchronized relaxation activities can align partners' heart rates and brainwave patterns, leading to a deeper emotional connection.
8. Act like teenagers
When all else fails, go back to the basics (we're talking way back): Think of your favorite Friday night activity as a teenager and recreate it (the truly daring can dress the part). Or: go roller skating or ice skating and hold hands during the cheesy love songs; hang out cruising the mall; visit an amusement park; sit on Santa's lap.
When you've tried the typical, the exotic, and the downright inane, getting a hit of nostalgia will provide a welcome chance to relax, laugh, be yourselves, and enjoy each other's company — and isn't that what dating is all about?
Tracy Morin is a freelance writer and a magazine editor. She regularly contributes to several trade magazines in the beauty industry and serves as managing editor of a food industry trade publication.
