The Art Of Being Truly Loved: 10 Quiet Ways A Man Shows He’s Not Going Anywhere
Once a man is all in, he doesn't just say it.
laflor | Canva I am very expressive verbally. Being a “physical touch and words of affirmation” person of the five love languages, there is never any concern about how I feel in a relationship. But, I frequently hear how so many people (men, typically, but not always) are not as expressive, which leaves some questions and sometimes concerns going unanswered.
The fact of the matter is that a lot of men quietly communicate their feelings in more non-verbal ways (opening doors, pulling out chairs, covering the bill, carrying things for you), but as we learn through the love languages as well, if we don’t recognize these actions as signs of love, we will see a lack of love in its place, even if the person is trying to show us that they care. To close the communication gap between non-verbal men and the women they care about, here's how men show love without saying anything.
Here are 10 quiet ways a man shows he’s not going anywhere:
1. He brings you around his friends
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Or family. Or whoever is closest to him. When a man starts to make you part of the important things in his life, it is a good sign he is serious about you. Perceptions of approval also increased the likelihood that feelings of love, satisfaction, and commitment would grow over time. He wants others to experience the happiness you bring to his life (and maybe show you off a little bit — in a good way, because he is proud to be with you).
Researchers have explained that perceiving others' support for their relationships helps couples move from "me" to "we." When a couple perceives approval for their relationship, it confirms their choice of a partner is a good one, reducing uncertainty and affirming their commitment.
2. He stays close to you physically
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It could be keeping his arm around you, hugging you randomly, or cuddling up on the couch — a man who truly cares and enjoys your company will always want to be close to you. Physical contact, even when innocent, sends non-verbal messages worth paying attention to.
Affectionate touch, like hugging, hand-holding, and cuddling, is crucial to the development of social bonds and signals a desire for closeness. When a man consistently seeks out that physical connection, he's communicating commitment in a language that goes beyond words.
A 2023 study examined over 7,800 participants across 37 countries and found that individuals with higher relationship commitment reported communicating affection, including displays of physical affection, toward their partners. The degree of physical affection was also positively associated with relationship and partner satisfaction.
3. He listens to you
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One of the major things men often get accused of is being terrible listeners. (A generalization, of course, but there may be a nugget of truth to it.) Whether we don’t remember that it was your friend’s birthday this weekend or which scented candle was your favorite one at the store, the small details matter most.
Research from the International Journal of Listening explained how a man who cares for you will listen intently and do his best to absorb all of the details he can. It's his way of showing you that he values you and what you have to say.
4. He doesn’t care what you do as long as you’re together
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Oh, you have to go grocery shopping today or go out and get things for your party this weekend? Count him in. Do you need someone to pick you up at the airport? Cancel your Uber — he's there. For the man who wants to spend as much time with you as he can, it’s not just going to be on date night or when you are intimate.
A meaningful relationship is just as much about sharing everyday things as it is about exciting things. Increasing the amount of time spent together on everyday activities helps couples by providing opportunities to connect and discuss their days, problem-solve together, or simply enjoy one another's company.
5. He mirrors your behavior and body language
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While some of us recognize this as an effective form of communication, as well as a method to make someone more comfortable around us, many people will become so in tune with the person they are with that they subconsciously start duplicating gestures, positions, or postures.
Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) showed that if a man touches your arm after you touch his, uncrosses his legs after you uncross yours, or leans into you during a conversation after you lean into him, he is subconsiously showing love and paying close attention to you, whether he realizes it or not.
6. He puts thought into the gifts he gives you
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While special occasions are not the only time that a man (or woman) should do something special for you, they are more traditional in the opportunity to slow our lives down and show somebody how much we appreciate them. Whether it is a gift you have wanted or an experience you have desired to partake in, a man who cares about you will not just pick up a stuffed animal and some flowers at the store; he will do something special that is specifically for you.
When a man takes the time to select something meaningful, he's communicating far more than words ever could. Psychologists argue that the act of choosing a gift itself is a form of communication. The selections we make, whether it's a carefully curated item or a spontaneous choice, reflect how well we know the recipient's tastes and preferences.
7. He compromises
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No great relationship was ever built on the foundation of “What’s in it for me?” A man who is playing the field will have no reason to sacrifice his self-interest for somebody unless he feels something deeper for them.
A study from City University of New York explained that when we begin to develop a love for someone, we want to see them happy, even if that means putting our self-interests aside for the sake of theirs. Her happiness becomes our happiness. This is not to say he will become a doormat — there is a big difference between compromise and sacrifice. It goes both ways.
8. He will pick up your dry cleaning
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Or whatever it is that you don’t have time to do yourself. He will put in the effort to help you out to make your life easier, just because. A man who is not serious about you will not be around often enough, nor willing enough, to do these things.
Research from the APA found that viewing a partner as helpful to one's goals predicts relationship maintenance behaviors. This means those small acts of service aren't just nice gestures, but signs of someone invested in being there for the long haul.
9. He asks for your advice — and actually takes it
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If a man asks you for your advice on a decision he is trying to make or a situation that he is in, it means he values your opinion enough to take you seriously and use it as a guiding light in his life. When he brings his questions and dilemmas to you, he's essentially saying your perspective matters enough to shape his choices. It shows that he respects your opinion, but also that he wants to be close with you and build a life where your input genuinely matters.
Couples that practice mutual decision-making are likely to obtain better outcomes in decisions as more options are explored when both partners' voices are heard and valued. A 2020 study explained that this kind of shared decision-making is directly tied to relationship quality, where couples who decide things together have stronger intimacy.
10. He makes you feel safe
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Men are naturally protective. Millions of years of biological evolution have brought us to the point where we naturally want to protect those we love, whether they need it or not. It could mean protecting you from getting hurt emotionally or physically.
A man who loves and cares for you will make you feel safe. He will never make you question whether or not he will be there for you in a time of need. He will stand by your side, in front of you, and behind you when he must. He will be your teammate through life. A man who loves you will make you feel it in his ways. When he cares, you will know it. If he doesn’t, you will be wondering all the time if he does.
James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and relationship coach. He is a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.
