4 Types Of Guys You Should Never, Ever Marry

These types of guys will never settle down, so don't even bother.

tattoo man with grey t shirt Alex Visualnue/ Shutterstock

Poor dating habits are no different than crummy diet choices.

We know we should grab an apple instead of a Snickers, and we know After Midnight Booty Caller's number should be replaced by an option who's aware of our existence when the sun's out.

The difficulty isn't realizing your worth, the difficulty is trying to find men like that. Where have all the good men gone?

Here are 4 types of guys you should never, ever marry:

1. The hot and sour soup guy

One minute you're his soul mate, the next he forgets your birthday. The first weekend of the month you're the future mother of his unborn children, and by the third, it's as if you never existed. One minute he's telling you how you're going to be in his life forever, and the next he won't answer your texts when you're stranded on the road with a flat tire. You get the picture.


While in the beginning, this brand can be all-absorbing, the cold — not too unlike being trapped in a tortuous windy shade — is a discomfort that's unparalleled. Worth it? We think not. Why would you want to be with a man who you don't even know likes you? Pour this option down the drain. 

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2. The late-night binger

This one's just empty calories. He only calls (or texts, let's be real) when late-night programming is finished and the lights are out.

 Sure, you could stumble out of bed and unlock the door, but why? So he can sit on your couch as you try to convince yourself that this is worth the loss of sleep you're getting? Save up those extra fat grams for the next morning, when someone is at least thoughtful enough to shoot you a mid-morning e-mail.


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3. The bottomless beer drunkard

Ever notice how this guy is always drunk? God, you wonder, how does he do it? Whether it be those never-ending Bloody Mary brunches or the times you meet him for after-work drinks, he's already smashed. Don't pick up the extra six-pack; wouldn't you rather acquire bloat from a substantial meal? There's no longevity in a liquid diet.

RELATED: 15 Signs He's Using You Because He Hates Being Alone

4. The messy drifter appetizer

Like a burrito that's so overstuffed a bite turns into a rice and cheese Jackson Pollack splat on your pants, this guy's so all over the place it's impossible to ever get full.


Where does he work? It's foggy. Where does he live? Like we know.

And where do we stand with him? We'd guess somewhere after his first options but before the lower half. Time to 86 this lukewarm appetizer that will never make it to the permanent menu.

RELATED: 5 Obnoxious Types Of Men To Avoid At All Costs


Melissa Noble is a freelance writer and blogger who writes about love, relationships, and trending news stories.