Photo: Mix and Match Studio / Shutterstock
Clingy boyfriends aren't just annoying, they could be displaying warning signs of much worse to come
By Emily Francos — Last updated on Nov 29, 2022
Sometimes when you start dating someone, you are blinded by the possibility of having a genuine relationship. But you need to be aware of the warning signs of a clingy boyfriend that may tell you you may not be in a relationship with the person you think you are.
Whether consciously or subconsciously, lots of people hide their true selves. A clingy boyfriend might manipulate you with jealousy and cause you to say and do things you wouldn't normally do.
It's important that you don't let anything get past you and do not let things go. It's important to make it known that you are onto them and that you will not stand to be played with.
You want truth and honesty and if they are trying to play with you or take advantage of you, you need to walk away no matter how much you care for them.
You have to learn how to take care of yourself and to be careful of other people out there. Lots of people have sinister reasons as to they do things so you have to be aware of what could possibly happen.
Below are some very important warning signs of future emotional abuse for you to look for in your relationship.
If these things are happening in your relationship, then you should address it immediately. You really don't want to get to the point where you cannot escape or get out of the situation you are in because he has trapped you.
Always look to protecting yourself and if something doesn't feel right, then it probably is not.
14 Signs you have a clingy boyfriend
1. He's pushy.
When your significant other starts getting really pushy about things and you have shut them down repeatedly, but they cannot seem to stop bringing it up, then that can be a red flag.
No matter the situation, they should respect your decision and be OK with it. They should understand what you want and not be mad with you for making a decision against something you are uncomfortable with.
2. He makes a big deal when plans change.
If your partner cannot accept that circumstances out of your control cause you to postpone your date, then they might not be right for you.
3. He polices your social media.
When they become super obsessed with what you are and are not posting on social media then that can be a warning sign because you don't want them to read into something that is not there.
4. He blows up your phone.
If your partner is that insecure about you to need to send multiple texts before you answer then it can be a major warning sign that they are super clingy and that they need way more attention than you want to give.
5. He's passive-aggressive.
When they start making passive-aggressive posts and status updates without mentioning you exactly by name, then they are probably hoping that you will see it and ask about it. This is a red flag because they should not feel like they cannot talk to you about everything directly.
6. He tries to make you jealous.
It's like partners who are super clingy try and make you feel horrible about yourself and jealous so they can have a confidence boost because they are purposefully making you want them.
7. He makes you choose between him and the other people in your life.
If someone forces that ultimatum upon you, always choose your family and friends over someone. Never let someone put you in a situation where there is an ultimatum.
If they genuinely care about you, they will accept your family and friends, not take everyone away from you to get you alone and dependent on only them.
8. He asks you to cut off contact with friends of the opposite sex.
The major reason they will use to stop you from hanging out with your friends of the opposite sex is that they think your friends will try to sleep with you. So, they are just trying to get you all to themselves.
9. He acts like a strict parent.
This usually happens when they try to forbid you or keep you from doing things you like.
10. The relationship moves at an unusually quick pace.
If your partner brings up having kids together before you declare your love for each other or starts discussing moving in right away, it's a major red flag because it can mean that they are trying to hook you so that you have to stay.
11. He keeps you from seeing your friends.
Keeping you from seeing your friends is a major warning sign because they want to separate you from the people in your life so they can have you all to themself.
12. He seems too perfect.
If they seem too good to be true, then that means that they probably are. Always be cautious because they are probably hiding a side that may be unsavory.
13. He doesn't let things go.
Sometimes people mess up. We are human. So, we have to be able to forgive and move on.
But if your significant other keeps throwing your mistakes in your face and assume the worst, then it can mean their insecurities are at a higher level that may be a bit too much for you to be able to handle because they can use your past faults as a way to manipulate you in the future.
14. He shows up uninvited.
It's normal and healthy in a relationship to spend time apart. If this person just starts appearing out of thin air uninvited, that can be a huge warning sign of insecurity and controlling behavior.
What to do if you have a clingy boyfriend
The best thing you can do is address the situation head-on with a real conversation. Money Coach Pegi Burdick advises "I suggest you set boundaries from the beginning." Boundaries are essential in any healthy relationship. Just like you need to have your own life with your own friends and your own hobbies, so does he.
Having a discussion where you talk about your concerns — without outright accusing him of being clingy — might do a lot of good.
You can stress how important it is that you need him to be able to trust you, while you need to be empathetic about any concerns he raises.
Burdick adds, "I think in time, his neediness will wear thin. Unless you discuss it with him, it will not change. His insecurities will become very controlling."
However, if he won't stop his clingy behavior, it's time to cut him loose before anything gets more serious. You deserve a happy, healthy relationship where both you and your partner are two whole, complete people who trust each other when you're together and when you're out and about in your individual lives.
That's the key to successfully building a solid foundation for a great romantic future together.
More for You:
Emily Francos is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture, and relationships.