Guy 'Embarrassed' To Be Seen With His Girlfriend Wearing Pajamas In Public Says She Has 'No Self Respect'
Unsurprisingly, viewers say his delivery was inappropriate.
Lordn / Shutterstock Many of us find comfort in our partners, whether it’s holding their hand in a stressful situation, relying on them to provide great advice, or looking forward to seeing them after a long trip.
Even more of us find comfort in that one great pair of sweatpants — you know the ones.
So, when one 20-year-old Reddit woman decided she was going to swap “style” for comfort when running an errand with her boyfriend, she was shocked and disappointed when he got angry with her.
The woman asked for advice after her boyfriend said he was ‘embarrassed’ to show her off when she wore baggy clothes.
In her Reddit post, she recalled their conversation, saying, “He told me he believes pajamas are to be worn inside the house and to wear them in public means I have no ‘self-respect.'”
Excited to wear her festive pajama pants out to run an errand, she was met with accusations of “disrespect” and “embarrassment” by her boyfriend who felt offended by her choice of clothes. Willing to sacrifice her red-and-green attire to appease her boyfriend, she decided to change her clothes.
Only a few days later, her boyfriend brought the topic back up: “We were already upset, sharing our feelings about a different topic, and eventually he brought up my pajamas — I asked if ‘we were still talking about that outfit I wanted to wear?’”
Photo: fizkes / Canva Pro
“I tried to understand his perspective,” the woman wrote, “Am I just being insensitive or lazy?”
Comments varied regarding the hurtfulness of his comments.
While his original comments about her pajama pants didn’t seem to bother the girlfriend, the argument that followed prompted more hurtful comments from her boyfriend. “I want to show you off and be proud to be next to you,” he said during their conversation, “but it’s hard when you don’t put any effort into your appearance.”
The crux of his argument: If she wasn’t going to be putting on makeup and dressing well for herself, she should do it for him. “I love this man,” she said, “I want him to feel comfortable being seen with me — but this hurt my feelings, as I had no idea he even cared.”
Some comments suggested he should find someone else to date instead of trying to control what she wore.
Others were more straightforward, “Your boyfriend sounds controlling and honestly misogynistic. You’re not an accessory for him to 'show off'/brag about … he does not get to dictate what you wear."
Other readers suggested the root of his perspective was valid, but his delivery reeked of insecurity and manipulation.
There’s a thin boundary in relationships when it comes to addressing the needs of your partner and crossing that boundary means potentially sacrificing a healthy partnership.
Jalen and Cacie, a married couple on TikTok, shared their thoughts on “dressing up” for your spouse. They argued that if your partner needed you to look a certain way on occasion, it was appropriate to want to meet their needs.
Healthy relationships are guided by boundaries. So, if your partner asking you to change is something that you feel comfortable obliging to, it’s not automatically toxic. If you’ve set the expectation that on date nights you both wear nice clothes, it wouldn’t be unreasonable for one person to be disappointed if the other doesn’t.
However, it’s easy to use terminology to mask unhealthy behavior. We’ve seen it in pop culture too many times. The exposure of actor Jonah Hill’s toxic relationship with Sarah Brady made headlines for doing just that.
In a series of Instagram stories back in July, Brady claimed Hill “emotionally abused” her throughout their year-long relationship by policing her social media, appearance and clothing choices, and friendships.
When Hill finally spoke out to address her allegations, he simply said “his boundaries were clear” throughout their relationship. Many people found his use of the word “boundaries” to be insincere and many replaced his vague response with the word “demands.”
Comments under this Reddit post seemed to acknowledge the insensitivity of this boyfriend’s language but found it appropriate for him to communicate his feelings about her clothing. “It isn’t unreasonable to want a partner that dresses ‘in a more presentable way’ so to speak, although I assume he knew your style before you started dating.”
While many also acknowledged this, most hounded him in on his approach saying it was disrespectful.
If you find yourself in a situation where you feel diminished, controlled, or made fun of — even for something as small as a casual grocery store outfit — think about how much you truly feel valued in that relationship as a whole.
You should feel celebrated, supported, and loved, regardless of what you look like on the outside.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.