The 8 Most Common Complaints Unhappy Husbands Have About Their Wives

According to a relationship coach and mediator.

common complaints unhappy husbands have about wives Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash

I can't tell you how many unhappy husbands I've seen in my office over the past decade or so. They present with all kinds of issues — from infidelity to in-law troubles and everything in between.

Yet, despite the variety of marriage problems that can arise, there are some complaints that are so prevalent and common that they warrant being singled out.

And if you're not super careful, one or more of these relationship stumbling blocks could lead to insurmountable obstacles to marital bliss.


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The good news is, you have the power to become the person you need to be in order to overcome these potential potholes — before they cause permanent harm.

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The eight most common complaints that unhappy husbands make about their wives:

1. She seems grumpy all the time

When she speaks to her husband, her voice tone is full of negativity, contempt, and criticism.

If he tries to express a concern or complaint about the marriage, she rises up in angry defensiveness and throw the blame back on him instead of hearing him out.

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2. She is constantly nagging and micro-managing

When her husband has a free moment, she pounces on him and orders him to fix something around the house.

If he goes out with friends, she texts him incessantly, asking when he'll be home.


Basically, she's a matrimonial version of the nagging, micro-managing boss. 

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3. She shuts down his advances

If he flashes her a flirtatious wink, she'll roll her eyes. If he reaches for his wife in bed, she'll turn her back to him.

On those rare occasions she does give in and have sex, she lies there and stares at the ceiling, waiting for it to be over.

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4. She stops caring about herself 

Whether she's stopped exercising or started wearing sweatpants, she's let herself go and lost her energy and enthusiasm for life.


To be honest, this isn't a top complaint that I hear from men. However, a woman who feels unattractive often withdraws — emotionally and physically — from her marriage.

And that is something that husbands do complain about.

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5. She makes being a 'mom' her main personality trait

She gets way more excited about a "Mommy & Me" play date than a romantic evening with her husband.

Just keep in mind that often a child-centered marriage doesn't feel like a marriage at all; it's daycare.

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6. She's an alpha parent

As the leader of the parenting pack, she snaps at her husband every time he tries to be a dad or parent his children in the way he sees fit.


As a result, she robs the children of a father's care and discipline, and drives a wedge between her and her husband.

7. She's not thankful

Whether her husband has put in major overtime at work or spent his entire long-weekend building that backyard deck she wants, she takes his efforts for granted and fail to show appreciation for anything he does for her or the family.

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8. She doesn't have her own 'thing' 

She don't have any interests or hobbies outside the marriage or home (no, Facebook isn't a hobby).

That makes her predictable and bland company who rarely seems to have anything interesting to add to a conversation. 


If you're worried that the passion in your marriage is starting to subside, don't panic.

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Instead, take a good, hard look at your answers to these four questions:

  • How can you bring more positivity and romance into your marriage?
  • How can you make your husband feel more appreciated and desired?
  • How can you build him up as a loving, competent parent?
  • How can you make him happy?

Believe it or not, working toward making your husband happy is the surest way to motivate him to make you happy. Like attracts like. Loving, appreciative behavior attracts loving, appreciative behavior. Positivity and enthusiasm attract positivity and enthusiasm.

Fun and affection attract fun and affection. Sometimes, it really is that simple.

Of course, it takes two to tango and men need to do their part, too. That said, there's nothing stopping you from taking the lead and doing what you can to make your marriage a happier, sexier and stronger one ... starting today.

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Debra Macleod, B.A., J.D. is a relationship author, coach and marital mediator.