13 Signs A Woman Is Slowly Getting Swallowed Up By Her Relationship, According To Psychology
These subtle shifts in behavior may signal she's losing her sense of self.
Erick Lee Hodge | Unsplash When you’re cast under the spell of love, sometimes the rose-colored glasses distort your reality. They may even mask toxic things that are obvious no-brainers for you when you see them in other people.
But when you fail to identify issues within your relationship, it becomes a bit of a problem. It can cloak that you're getting swallowed up by your relationship.
Here are 13 signs a woman is slowly getting swallowed up by her relationship, according to psychology:
1. She's given him a million chances
For other guys, you would have only given him two or three chances, but for him, he’s won an endless supply because you think he’ll change — even though he doesn’t want to change for you.
Research has found that these women might be caught in a cycle influenced by factors like enmeshment, the fear of being alone, or the subconscious drive to repeat past relationship patterns. While forgiveness can be beneficial, it's crucial to differentiate between genuine second chances rooted in growth and repeated cycles of harmful behavior.
2. She convinces herself she's overreacting whenever she's mad at him
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It’s as though you’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re the crazy one after every argument or slight disagreement.
When a woman consistently dismisses her feelings of anger, she’s essentially invalidating her own emotional experience. This can stem from past experiences where her emotions were downplayed or dismissed by others, or even from societal conditioning that teaches women to be less assertive or to prioritize harmony over expressing their true feelings.
3. She feels pressured to tone down her emotions to please him
You fear that your anger, sadness, or any feelings will be too much for them and will scare them away, instead of living authentically.
It's important to distinguish between healthy emotional regulation and excessive suppression. Research has suggested that while some degree of emotional regulation is necessary in any relationship, feeling pressured to consistently deny or hide a significant part of one's emotional experience can be detrimental.
4. She accepts scraps of affection
A kiss on the cheek in front of your friends is like a marriage proposal in your eyes because it rarely happens. It’s a really low expectation to have and a huge warning sign that something isn’t right.
It's important to remember that not all women will react the same way to a lack of affection. Studies link affection deprivation to decreased relationship satisfaction and emotional intimacy. It can also lead to individuals having lower perceived security in love and withdrawing from social interactions.
5. She pretends she doesn't need monogamy
Sure, it could be a legitimate view of yours. But chances are, you may use it as an excuse because your boyfriend frequently cheats or says that.
Women are often socialized to prioritize others' needs and maintain harmony in relationships, sometimes at the expense of their self-expression and well-being. If a woman has a desire for monogamy but suppresses it to please her partner or avoid conflict, it can be a form of self-silencing
6. She makes excuses for him
You always have an explanation or justification for the mean, hurtful, unorthodox, or bad things he does. While making excuses can be a warning sign, it's crucial to consider the broader context of the relationship and observe other unhealthy patterns as well. A 2015 study explained that a healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, open communication, and a balance of independence and interdependence.
7. She reflects negatively on single life
You'd rather settle into an unhealthy relationship (even if you don’t know it’s unhealthy) than be alone. Interpreting a woman's reflection on single life requires a nuanced understanding of her circumstances, motivations, and the dynamics of her relationship.
While the potential for relationship engulfment exists, it's not the sole explanation for negative reflections on past experiences.
8. She ignores the advice of well-meaning friends
Sometimes, those outside of a situation are exposed to a side you may fail to see, and you slightly hate them for not hearing you out. A 2023 study cautioned that while friends' concerns can be valuable, the woman must trust her judgment and assess the situation independently.
Friends often serve as a social network and support system, offering different perspectives and potentially spotting unhealthy relationship patterns or red flags that someone deeply involved might miss.
9. She hides the problems within her relationship
You kind of just hope they fade away and want to avoid confrontation as much as possible. If these communication patterns become chronic, they can take a serious toll on a woman's mental health. Healthy relationships require open and honest communication, where both partners feel safe to express their needs, fears, and opinions without fear of judgment or negative consequences.
10. She forgives every apology
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Even if he did something unthinkable to hurt you, you will always accept his lame apology or excuse. Forgiveness can be an important component of a healthy relationship and personal well-being, but it needs to be exercised in a way that respects one's own needs and sets healthy boundaries.
Research has found that when a pattern of constant forgiveness emerges alongside other signs of losing oneself, it may be a good time to reflect on the dynamics of the relationship.
11. She wants to save him
You may think that by giving him enough love and affection that he’ll change into the person you want him to be. Sadly, no amount of encouragement or pushing will make him change.
Rescuer syndrome describes a compulsion to constantly help and "fix" others, even when they don't need or want the help. In romantic relationships, this can prevent a partner from developing their own problem-solving skills and foster dependency.
12. She excuses poor behavior
He had a hard upbringing, his ex caused a lot of emotional damage, and he hasn’t been in a relationship to know. There’s always some excuse you create to justify his poor behavior.
While it's important to acknowledge that past trauma can influence behavior, consistently rationalizing or minimizing harmful behavior can have negative impacts on the relationship dynamics and the woman's well-being. Trauma bonds, which can form in abusive relationships, can make it difficult to leave due to a deep attachment to the abuser as a result of abuse.
14. She normalizes toxic behavior
A relationship where these signs are common is not a healthy relationship — especially if you name-call, snoop, cheat, and lie all the time.
When you love someone, you’re blindly and irrationally infatuated with them. Of course, you don’t want to see how toxic they are or admit that the relationship could be destroying you in the long term.
However, loving someone doesn’t mean they’re right for or good to you. Deep down, you may have the gut feeling to leave them, but you just can’t bring yourself to say goodbye.
But just know that if you are experiencing most of these within your relationship, you should consider your options. Ultimately, it could save you in the long run.
Brittany Christopoulos is a journalist, blogger, TV & Radio reporter, and the Senior Writer & Trending News Leader at Unwritten.
