Your Parents Raised You Right If These 11 Things Don’t Bother You At All
It takes a special type of parent to raise someone the right way.
Dikushin Dmitry / Shutterstock The other day, I was at the mall and witnessed two different families. One family had a little girl of about nine years old. When I walked by her, she was throwing a massive tantrum with an ear-shattering screech. Eventually, the mom quieted her down by buying her a toy at a nearby kiosk. The other child was a mom and her son. He was roughly the same age as the girl. They were at a candy shop, and I was taken aback by how well-behaved he was. The child opened the door for me, waited by his mother, politely asked for a candy bar, and then put the candy bar in his mom’s purse after she bought it.
That day reminded me of how important good parenting is. Good parenting is something that is worthy of awe. In many cases, parents who do the job right stand out because their kids are unbothered by many hiccups in life.
Your parents raised you right if these 11 things don’t bother you at all
1. Different types of people
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I’ll say it before and I’ll say it again: being tolerant of the differences in others is a major green flag. It’s a sign that you are not only raised right, but that you have enough confidence to not be intimidated by something new, strange, or simply different.
This is particularly noticeable in the workspace. The best managers are people who can get people of opposing viewpoints and backgrounds to work together toward a common goal. If you can do that without batting an eye, you’re awesome and are likely to have an easy time in the workplace.
2. Bullying
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So, I’ll preface this with the fact that bullying hurts. It’s a part of life because awful people are awful, and even the most emotionally strong people will feel upset when they’re targeted. However, well-raised kids aren’t bothered when they have to stand up to bullies.
Well-raised kids will fight back or even protect others, often using either legal or verbal means. They also aren’t bothered when they realize they’re being punished in an immoral way. They will find ways to stand up for their rights. If that sounds like you, you were raised very well.
Meanwhile, as far as bullies go? There is evidence that suggests bad parenting creates bullies.
3. Rejection
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No one likes rejection. It’s one of the only emotional experiences that lights up our physical pain receptors. Some people even develop rejection sensitivity as a result of other emotional or mental issues, making it a double-whammy.
That’s why seeing someone take rejection in a mature, adult way is so impressive. It means parents put in time to help them regulate their emotions and maintain their frame well.
4. Communication issues
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Everyone has a different way of communicating how they feel, even when they speak the same language. Many people are put off by people whose communication doesn’t quite match their style, to the point that it can cause unwanted arguments and bad moments.
Great parenting takes time and often works on teaching their kids how to communicate with others, even those who don’t always make much sense. We live in a world where people don’t always talk the same way. It’s good to see people who are prepared to handle that.
5. Rudeness
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There is something to be said about the way a person treats others. It reflects on who they are as a person, but it also reveals quite a bit about their background. More specifically, manners are a key sign that someone was raised well.
While a well-raised person will not tolerate rude behavior for a long period of time, the truth is that they aren’t deeply ruffled by it the way others would be. Rude behavior is on the rise, but a well-raised adult isn’t going to care.
Great parenting means that adult children are aware that rudeness is more about the rude individual than the people they’re being callous toward. So, they often have a certain sense of pity for people who behave that way and just ignore them.
6. Safety-related inconveniences
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We all want to be safe when we do our basic day-to-day routines. We buckle our seatbelts when we get in the car, look both ways before crossing the street, and also check expiration dates on the boxes of food we eat.
Every bit of safety we get comes with a small cost. In the workplace world, it’s known as “safety inconvenience.” Most of the time, we just go along with it. However, some inconveniences are really annoying, such as a major detour on a morning commute.
Well-raised people won’t make a stink about things if they have to take an extra step to keep themselves and others safe. For example, if there’s a maximum weight load on an amusement park ride and they exceed that weight, they won’t make a scene because they can’t go on the ride.
People who are poorly raised often assume others will let them skip the safety measures or make an exception for them. That’s not how a safe society works. Those who are brought up well understand that rules are in place for a reason, and that safety is often the reason for those rules.
7. Being asked for help
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A person’s character is often one of the best signs of a great upbringing. After all, a person’s parents help mold them into the person they are today. One thing that truly stands out with well-raised adults is their desire to make the world a better place.
Studies show that altruism is a trait that is heavily linked to good parenting. Well-raised people tend to be altruists, so they are almost never bothered when people ask for help. In fact, they may genuinely enjoy being asked to pitch in.
8. Maintaining boundaries
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We all know at least one person who takes personal boundaries as an insult. Well-raised people are not that person, ever. Why? Because part of a major part of healthy parenting involves teaching children how to maintain good boundaries and how to deal with people who try to impinge on their boundaries.
A well-raised adult might feel weird about boundary-pushers trying to guilt-trip them into dropping their boundaries, but they generally are quick to maintain boundaries. In other words, they have an easier time speaking up for themselves, and they won’t get bothered if they have to cut ties because people won’t get the point.
9. Being a leader
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Sometimes, the best signs of being brought up well are the absence of certain discomforts. This is particularly true when you look at common issues that arise from life in a toxic family. One example of this is being afraid of taking responsibility or being afraid of being a leader.
In a toxic family, trying to take control of a situation can make you a target. This can make assuming roles in leadership terrifying for people who came from toxic families. If you’re okay with taking charge or being a leader, chances are your parents raised you well and wanted you to become a leader.
10. Self-care
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This is a more subtle thing I’ve noticed about well-raised people: they don’t feel bad about self-care. Toxic family dynamics tend to encourage abuse victims to martyr themselves for the benefit of others. They also tend to discourage self-care and healthy boundary setting, which is why self-care is so important for people healing from toxic families.
You can often tell who had a good childhood with great parents by how they approach self-care. Well-raised people don’t feel guilty for caring for themselves. If you didn’t have to teach yourself to embrace self-care, chances are that your parents helped you learn to love yourself earlier in life.
11. Being yourself
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Finally, I want to point out that parenting has a lot of influence on a person’s confidence and self-esteem. A well-raised person is proud of who they are. They’re not afraid to be themselves, even when who they are isn’t popular.
Whenever you see a young adult who is unabashedly themselves, that’s often partly due to good parenting. If that describes you? Well, your parents did well by you, and you’re likely an awesome person for it.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
