11 Things Millennial Women Do That Their Boomer Moms Quietly Judge
Boomer moms may love their daughters deeply, but that doesn't mean they don't judge their life choices.
Julia Zavalishina / Shutterstock As millennials enter their 30s and 40s, they are hitting their stride in the world. But even as they devotedly raise their children and flourish as professionals, there are many things that millennial women do that their boomer moms quietly judge them for.
Millennial women grew up thinking that they could have it all. They watched their boomer moms balance work and family without seeming to break a sweat, so they believed it went without saying that their adulthood would unfold in a similar way. Yet many donât have the same sense of security or abundance that their boomers made it look so easy to have. While boomer moms may be supportive, they also have a lot of thoughts and opinions about their daughters' life choices.
Here are 11 things millennial women do that their boomer moms quietly judge
1. Wait to get married
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Millennial women are now between 29 and 44 years old, making them the perfect age for their boomer moms to ask why theyâre not married yet. Millennial women are highly aware that their boomer moms will quietly judge whatever answer they give, yet their reason for not getting married is actually very simple: They just donât want to.
According to a survey from the Thriving Center of Psychology, millennials view marriage in a very different way than the generations before them. Some millennials said that the idea of marriage is outdated, while others believe itâs way too expensive to have a wedding in the current economy. Twenty one percent of millennials arenât interested in marriage at all, and those who do want to get married arenât in any rush to do so. And 65% of unmarried millennials live with their partners, proving that weddings arenât the only way to make a long-term commitment.
2. Choose to be child-free
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Millennial women fully expected to follow in their boomer momsâ footsteps. They thought they were going to find a job right out of college, get married, buy a house, and have kids â and all in that exact order. But the lives that millennial women actually have look drastically different from what they imagined, which is due, in part, to their economic reality. Many millennial women made the decision to not have kids, something their boomer moms quietly judge them for.
As the Pew Research Center pointed out, there are more women between the ages of 25 and 44 without children than ever before. Some said they just didnât want kids, while others had more concrete reasons to be child-free. Additionally, 36% said they canât afford to raise kids, and 38% said their concerns about the state of the world influenced their decision.
Even though their boomer moms want to play grandma, millennial women know that the everyday labor of raising kids would fall on their shoulders, so they choose to be child-free.
3. Spoil their pets
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Millennial women might not be having kids at the rate their boomer moms would like, but they take their role as pet parents very seriously. In fact, millennials are currently the generation with the most pets in the US. And the way millennial women spoil their pets is something their boomer moms quietly judge.
Boomer moms donât understand why millennial women make home-cooked meals for their pets when they could buy a bag of dry food and call it a day. They donât get why millennial women give their fur babies the other side of the bed, along with all the toys they could ever dream of.
Millennial women indulge their fur babies like they were actual babies because it brings them joy in a difficult world. Their boomer moms can keep quietly judging them, but it wonât change how spoiled their grand-dogs are.
4. Set boundaries
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Setting boundaries is something millennial women do that their boomer moms quietly judge. As difficult as it can be for millennial women to reinforce their boundaries when their moms push up against them, they know that honoring their own limits is the best way to care for themselves as adults.
âEstablishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial in untangling unhealthy family dynamics,â says soul executive coach Carolyn Hidalgo. âClearly communicate your boundaries to your family in a respectful and assertive manner. Explain why these boundaries are important for you,â she advised.
âBe prepared to enforce your boundaries if they are crossed,â she continued. âRespect the boundaries of other family members as well⊠Mutual respect means allowing others to think and behave in whatever way works for them and you having this same freedom.â
5. Decide not to come home for the holidays
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When millennial women say theyâre not planning on coming home for the holidays, their boomer moms quietly judge them. While their silent resentment usually comes from a good place, they donât see how harmful it canât be. Boomer moms want to hold onto family traditions at all costs, so they have a hard time accepting it when their adult kids start their own traditions.
Therapist Madison Hamzy pointed out that, âThe holidays are intended to bring warmth and cheer, they often leave us feeling emotionally drained.â
âFamilial expectations during this season often conflict with the independent and autonomous people we are the other 51 weeks of the year,â she shared. âParents, siblings, grandparents, and in-laws alike have both spoken and unspoken expectations during the holidays.â
âBoundaries act to support you in living out your values, protecting your inner peace, and meeting your own needs,â she explained.
6. Believe in astrology
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Millennial womenâs abiding belief in astrology is something their boomer moms quietly judge. While millennial women see astrology as a tool to help them uncover their truest selves, their boomer moms donât see the point of star charts.
They donât know their sun sign, let alone their rising sign, and they wonât look up the exact time they were born, no matter how many times their millennial daughters ask them to. Boomer moms can resist astrology all they want, but millennial women will keep devoting themselves to it, no matter how much they get judged for it.
7. Invest in therapy
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Making mental health a priority is something millennial women do that their boomer moms quietly judge them for. The Thriveworks 2025 Pulse on Mental Health Report revealed that there are still major generational divides around seeking outside support for mental health.
Millennials are the most likely to seek out therapy, with 70% of millennials saying they planned to see a therapist over the next year. Boomers exist on the opposite end of the spectrum, as 80% said they wouldnât seek out mental health services, at all, making them the least likely generation to go to therapy, and 75% of boomers saying they donât think therapy is necessary.
8. Pay for meal kits
Millennial women make their lives a little easier by ordering meal kits, which their boomer moms quietly judge them for. They might not say it out loud, but many boomer moms think that millennial women have it way easier than they ever did.
Boomer moms donât understand why millennial women need to order boxes for dinner, with food thatâs basically prepared for them, when they have the luxury of working from home.
But no matter how much millennial women and their moms clash on this issue, how they run their household is up to them.
9. Talk about being burnt out
Boomer moms quietly judge millennial women for talking about being burnt out. They maintain that burnout didnât exist back in their day, but really, itâs always existed, only now, millennials are brave enough to put it all out in the open.
According to burnout recovery coach Bethany Sadler-Jasmin, millennials absorbed the âculturally conditioned work ethicâ only to discover that it didnât provide the economic stability or sense of personal fulfillment they were promised.
âMillennials are burnt out, disengaged, stressed, and treading water daily,â she shared. âThe idea that one must constantly work hard, sacrifice personal time, and prioritize the company's financial goals above all else doesnât bring humans true happiness.â
Millennials know that starting the conversation around burnout is the first step to solving it, and they donât really care how much their moms are quietly judging them for it.
10. Prioritize work-life balance
Millennial women were taught to embrace hustle culture, but now, theyâre completely worn out by the constant grind. As a result, theyâre drawing lines in the sand. Theyâre making balance their main professional priority, even though their boomer moms quietly judge them for it.
According to generational expert Janet Granger, âMillennials were raised as the âalways onâ generation and have nothing left to give.â
âThe idea of constant availability, imposed by the âalways-onâ culture, leads to unrealistic expectations,â she shared. âMillennials find themselves in a situation where work-related emails, notifications, and expectations permeate their personal lives, creating an ongoing sense of being tethered to work.â
âThe pressure to respond instantly to messages and requests hampers their ability to disconnect, fostering a never-ending cycle of work and anxiety,â she explained.
Millennials are doing everything they can to break that cycle, and judging them wonât stop them from finding a new path forward.
11. Spend money on self-care
Millennial women have no problem spending time and money on self-care, even though their boomer moms quietly judge them for it. Theyâll pay good money for wrinkle-reducing serums and wellness retreats.
Millennial women are always looking for the next new way to stay centered and protect their peace, which to them, is worth its weight in gold.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
