10 Things Your Grandmother Did For You That You Probably Didn’t Appreciate Until Much Later
Helena Lopez | Canva Who doesn't love a trip to Grandma's house? The presence of a grandmother (even if she's not your own) is nurturing, grounding, and full of random bouts of wisdom. There are so many gems grandmothers offer, and we often forget or never get a chance to thank them for all the goodness they bring to life.
One of my grandmothers passed away many years ago, leaving a trail of love, laughter, and greatly-appreciated kookiness in her wake. The other one is still partying and creating serious change across the United States via Amtrak trains. They're the epitome of cool. If your granny is still around, call her up and thank her for the following things that she did for you that you probably didn't appreciate until much later. She'll brush it off with her old school humility, but it will warm her heart.
Here are the things your grandmother did for you that you probably didn’t appreciate until much later:
1. Your grandmother taught you old-school sass
Research on humor in older adults finds that wit and the ability to deliver a well-timed comeback are associated with stronger cognitive function and emotional resilience with age. Grandma's zingers are a sign of a sharp mind.
Grandma is a pro at delivering the perfect zinger at just the right moment. When someone needs to be put in his or her place, serve up a line from Granny's Book of Sass. But of course, end it with a "Bless your heart."
2. Your grandmother taught you to know your worth
Grandmother pushed against the belief that men were in some way superior to women, in days when this opinion was very unpopular (at least amongst men). Knowing she worked so hard to procure equal rights for women empowers you to ask your employer for the salary you deserve, and tell your partner it's their turn to clean the house.
Women who push back against gender inequality and advocate for equal treatment show higher self-esteem and a stronger sense of personal agency, research has shown.
3. Your grandmother let you be a kid
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Research has confirmed that unstructured play is one of the most important factors of healthy child development, building creativity, emotional regulation, and resilience in ways that structured activities simply can't replicate.
Every kid needs moments where they can finish the whole pint of ice cream, watch cartoons for six hours, or play Chuck E. Cheese skee-ball until their hands are raw. Thanks for letting a kid be a kid, Grandma! (And not telling mom and dad.)
4. Your grandmother shared her hard-won wisdom
All those colorful years of life equate to a rainbow of wisdom. Grandma is a treasure trove of advice you're in desperate need of, and sometimes, advice you wish she'd kept to herself. TMI, Grandma, TMI.
Studies on intergenerational relationships find that grandchildren who have close relationships with grandparents report stronger emotional health and a clearer sense of identity. The stories and lessons passed down across generations turn out to matter more than anyone realizes at the time.
5. Your grandmother put up with your grandfather
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Grandpa is amazing, but can be a tad curmudgeonly. Grandmother has been a shining example of how to appease, lighten up, or straighten out the grumpy amongst us, depending on the circumstances.
Research on long-term marriages finds that couples who stay together for decades tend to develop a kind of emotional shorthand, learning exactly when to push back, when to let things go, and when a little humor defuses everything. Grandma has had decades to master all three.
6. Your grandmother is brutally and hilariously honest
She will say what everyone else is thinking, even if it's an unpopular opinion or lacking in couth. She doesn't have time for niceties and gets her point across. If you absorb Grandma's courageous honesty (and sprinkle in a bit of tact), you'll be golden.
Trustworthy people's actions are honest and come from good intentions, agrees therapist Susan Saint-Welch. Direct communication is productive, whereas indirect or dishonest communication erodes trust, often irreparably.
7. Your grandmother taught your parents how to be good parents
If Grandma was rad, her offspring likely inherited some of that. Lucky for you, one of those offspring equals half of your parentage. Make sure to pass on the goodness to your brood.
According to research, the warmth, responsiveness, and discipline styles grandparents modeled are among the strongest predictors of how their own children parent. Good parenting really does tend to run in families.
8. Your grandmother kept the classic art of handwritten letters alive
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Email, shme-mail. No new-fangled gadgets for Grandma. She's appalled that many schools no longer teach cursive, and she's keeping it classy by only sending handwritten letters so gorgeous and flowing that they're impossible to read, but pretty to look at. Don't give up the art of writing words with a pen in your hand.
There is something uniquely personal about a handwritten letter that no text or email can replicate. Psychologists have found that writing by hand engages the brain differently than typing, making the message feel more intentional and the connection more meaningful.
9. Your grandmother loves feeding you comfort food
Sharing food has long been a fundamental way humans express care and build social bonds, with studies showing that communal eating strengthens trust and feelings of closeness.
Grandma enjoys filling you with delicious concoctions of butter, sugar, bacon, and mayo. Grandma loves mayo. Thank you, Grandma, for always stuffing us with comfort food.
10. Your grandmother helped you see the beauty in being yourself
You never catch Grandma self-consciously plucking at her clothing or frowning at herself in the mirror. She rocks her unique style with pride, and urges you to do the same.
Her getups usually consist of bright colors, clunky jewelry, and amazing eyewear, a la the late Iris Apfel. We'll never apologize for our unique style because Grandma's courage paved the path for respected individuality.
Bailey Gaddis is the author of Feng Shui Mommy: Creating Balance Amidst the Chaos for Blissful Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood. She has written for Elephant Journal, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Woman's Day, Good Housekeeping, Scary Mommy, and others.
