Girls Who Feel Safe And Loved Are Usually Raised By Parents Who Did These 7 Things
Courtesy Of Author Sometimes, I feel like Miss Hannigan from the movie Annie. Tripping over toys in my nightie with a glass of wine in hand. Some women are dripping with diamonds and pearls. But me? I'm dripping with little girls. Everywhere I turn, I can see them. Night and day, I eat, sleep, and breathe them.
They say that catastrophes come in threes, but my little angels are the perfect sister trifecta. Or holy terrors. Depends on the day. Sometimes I'm living on Easy Street, but other times, it's the hard-knock life. Just like Miss Hannigan crows, "I'd have cracked years ago if it weren't for my sense of humor."
Don't get me wrong; I love little girls. I used to be one. Now, I'm dripping with three of my own: ages two, five, and seven. Someday, I may land in the nuthouse with all the nuts and the squirrels. But until then, I make small choices every day as their parent to raise little girls who feel safe and loved — and not at all like Little Orphan Annie.
Girls who feel safe and loved are usually raised by parents who did these 7 things:
1. Let them be who they are, not a mini version of you
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They're not carbon copies of you, so don't expect them to be. My oldest daughter is nothing like me. And thank goodness for that. She has blonde ringlets like Goldilocks, but she's about as rough and tumble as they come. And frankly, I'm not sure I'd win if we ever got into a wrestling match.
That girl is as tough as nails. She's not afraid to play with boys twice her age on the playground. And within twenty minutes, she's calling the shots and has all of them following her lead. I wish I could be more like that.
2. See and appreciate your kids as individuals
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So don't make comparisons. My middle daughter is a diva. She loves all things pink and sparkly. She loves makeup, high heels, and cheerleading. She is sugar and spice and everything nice. She's timid and fragile and delicate. A crystal glass in a china cabinet. But femininity takes on many forms, and one is not better than the others. All little girls are fearfully and wonderfully made.
3. Value who they are, not just how they look
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They have a trillion other wonderful traits beyond their beauty, so make sure they know that. If you're always telling them how beautiful they are, they may start believing that's all they have to offer. Tell them how smart, strong, and capable they are first. Then tell them they're beautiful.
4. Nurture their bond
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Sisterhood is a bond like no other. I, myself, am the youngest of three sisters. Through the years, we've shared everything from hand-me-downs to butter cream icing recipes to our deepest, darkest secrets. Like the inscription on the jewelry box my oldest sister gave me says, "Boys and friends come and go, but sisters are forever."
5. Be their biggest cheerleader
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Root for them loudly and quietly. Because the truth is: they think you're amazing, no matter what you're wearing. No matter what your hair looks like. Makeup or au naturale. My youngest is still in diapers, but her little eyes are always on me. Be sure you are leading the way for their tiny feet to follow. Champion who they're becoming. Stand behind them when it matters most. Let them know you're always on their team and you're their #1 die-hard fan.
6. Make them part of your squad
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Ride or die. Come heck or high water, make sure she knows she's on your team and you welcome her exactly as she is. Because girls who feel safe and loved by their parents are in it for the long haul. They will tell you if you have food stuck in your teeth or toilet paper on your shoe. If your zipper is down, they will notify you. No matter what life throws at you, they've got your back. So give them yours.
7. Recognize what an honor it is to raise them
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After you have finished parenting them, you will eventually borrow each other's clothes, shoes, and makeup. They will help keep you young, and you will help keep them grounded. What you teach them during these brief foundational years is crucial because you are literally raising your future besties for life.
So, each time I get annoyed after tripping over a toy, I remind myself what an amazing privilege it is to be their mother. Each time I fold their little bloomers or match their little socks or iron their little dresses, I smile at their unbelievable cuteness. And there is nothing better than hearing the giggles and prayers and lullabies as I tuck them into bed each night. It's WAY better than diamonds and pearls.
Andi Fifield is a teacher by day and writes about her family at Following the Fifields.
