Daughters Raised By Strong Moms Learned 11 Lessons That Never Had To Be Spoken Out Loud
The things mothers taught their daughters that changed their life for the better.
natasaelena | Shutterstock As most daughters know, daughters raised by a strong mom learned many lessons that never had to be spoken out loud. Mothers might not have verbally taught these lessons out loud, but through their actions, they've raised resilient young women who are now powerful enough to stand on their own two feet.
From refusing to center their lives around men to finding beauty from within, these daughters have become exceptional young ladies. As author and therapist Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., said, "Mothers have the magic touch (and kiss) to help us heal our wounds, physical and emotional." With that being said, what are these 11 lessons daughters learned the most from growing up around strong moms? Most importantly, how have moms changed their daughters' lives for the better?
Daughters raised by strong moms learned 11 lessons that never had to be spoken out loud:
1. Nobody else will save you but yourself
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Daughters raised by strong moms learned the lesson that nobody else will save you but yourself. It might sound tough, but strong mothers must learn to be self-reliant. Most mothers carry a huge burden when raising a family, whether married or single.
As a result, mothers quickly learned that sometimes they need to save themselves. Now, is this fair? No. In an ideal world, most mothers would have the support they need. However, since their careers aren't always accommodating, they've learned how to balance it all as they balance the struggles life throws their way.
As daughters, they've picked up on this and have learned the lesson of sometimes needing to save themselves. This is great, as one study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that those with perceived autonomy had higher happiness levels. So, while it might be exhausting always to play the hero in their own story, daughters are much more resilient because of it.
2. Saying 'no' is a full sentence
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If someone were to ask the average woman if they were a people pleaser, almost half of the women would probably respond by saying yes. According to a survey from YouGov, 56% of women identify as people pleasers. Still, daughters raised by strong moms learned that saying 'no' is a full sentence.
It's unfortunate, but many women feel the compulsive desire to overexplain themselves. From not wanting to come off as rude to wanting to be helpful, women have learned that their desires take a backseat when it comes to their loved ones. However, strong moms are different.
Rather than agreeing to everyone's demands, strong moms know how to put their foot down. As a result, daughters raised by strong moms have a much easier time saying 'no' than the average person. Unlike most women, these daughters understand that saying 'no' is a full sentence, and they shouldn't have to overexplain themselves.
3. Never give up, no matter how hard times get
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Let's face it: life only seems to be getting increasingly complicated. With student loans, tuition, healthcare, and groceries only increasing in price, it is no wonder that women have thrown in the towel. Yet, despite how difficult life has become, daughters raised by strong moms learned never to give up, no matter how hard times get.
Sure, life might not be the greatest right now, but despite how troubling times have become, daughters raised by strong moms refuse to give up. Maybe it's because they have this lesson ingrained in them from seeing their mom work so hard, but these daughters don't crumble when life throws them lessons. Instead, they buckle down in those tough times and learn the lessons they need to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
In turn, this makes the daughter much more resilient, as a study in 2022 cited that those with higher resilience also experience better mental health. So, while life might be tough at some points, through their mother's strength, tough daughters will always persevere.
4. You don't have to tolerate someone who doesn't treat you right
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It should go without saying that women shouldn't tolerate men who don't deserve them. Yet, all too often, mothers see their daughters go after men undeserving of their love and admiration. It's a story as old as time; countless mothers have seen the fallout of their daughter's painful breakup or situationship. However, daughters nurtured by strong mothers understand the importance of never accepting mistreatment from anyone.
Unlike most, strong mothers understand that the world can be cruel. From their own experiences, mothers draw on their wisdom to guide their daughters. As a result, mothers, through their own actions and behaviors, taught their daughters to never settle for less, causing these strong daughters to attract instead of chase.
This is important, as Dr. Amber Wardell, Ph.D, explained, as people's emotional energy helps to shape their experiences and the relationships they attract. Now, will these strong daughters stumble once or twice? Especially in their teenage year when they're still figuring things out. However, the older they get, the more their mother's teachings stick with them, causing them to weed out the well-hidden red flags.
5. Handle your business
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It's tempting for women to want to depend on others for help. In a world that refuses to cater to them, women are often left in charge — from cooking to caring for the kids to grocery shopping and planning Christmas parties. Still, this has come with its own set of exhaustion.
According to a 2014 study, people who take on more responsibilities experience greater emotional exhaustion. At the same time, women should depend on others for help and guidance, and daughters raised by strong moms learned to handle their own business. Call them paranoid, but strong mothers understand that allowing others to control their lives will only end in disaster.
For instance, men handling their business can quickly turn into men taking charge of everything, leading to toxic situations. Now, does this mean women should never depend on anyone for help? Absolutely not. However, when push comes to shove, handling essential things like finances, schooling, or other vital areas of life should always be in the individual's hands.
6. You can't make everyone happy, so focus on yourself first
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Daughters raised by strong moms learned they'll never be able to make everyone happy, so instead, they should focus on themselves first. As moms, there will always be a point at which they completely disagree with their daughters. From wanting them to major in something else to wanting them to find someone else, their daughters will do things that leave them shaking their heads in frustration.
Still, the decisions that daughters choose to make are theirs and theirs alone. Maybe it's their mother's stubborn spirit or fierce independence, but strong moms who raise strong daughters indirectly teach their daughters never to bend to anyone's will. With their opinionated minds and blunt attitudes, these mothers have taught their daughters to live by their own rules.
As a result, daughters raised by strong mothers have learned to embrace their authentic selves. According to a 2014 study, people with greater authenticity experience higher life satisfaction. So, while it might be hard to let go of the opinions of others, in the long run, daughters will have their mothers to thank for being the most evolved and happiest version of themselves.
7. Choose your company wisely
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There's a common saying most people have probably heard before. The old "choose your company wisely" saying has been around for ages, and for good reason. Let's face it: the people others choose to keep around them can make or break them.
According to a study published in 2014, people can either support one another in resisting temptation or encourage one another to fall into temptation. Specifically, researchers found that when it came to resisting things like chocolate, sometimes friends would become partners in crime and push one another to indulge, showcasing just how much friends impact each other.
Yet, despite the importance of knowing this, strong moms never tell their daughters this directly. Instead, they show them. From refusing to settle for less to cutting off toxic friends at the drop of a hat, strong moms teach their daughters the importance of who they surround themselves with through their actions.
These daughters become picky about the people they date or befriend. Empowered by the confidence and self-assurance their mothers provided, the strongest daughters instinctively avoid toxic individuals without needing advice.
8. Beauty comes from within
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It might sound cheesy, but daughters raised by strong moms learned the lesson that beauty comes from within. Mothers never had to tell their daughters that character mattered. Instead, mothers set that example by being the best version of themselves they could be.
From their bright energy to their kind nature, these mothers showed just how beautiful someone could be from within. Mothers always raised their daughters to cherish people's character above all else, causing these daughters to value people's personality over their looks.
This is great, as focusing too much on looks can damage a young woman's self-esteem. This is probably why so many women struggle with their body image, as the National Organization for Women cited that 59% reported dissatisfaction with their body and 66% expressed a desire to lose weight. So, not only do strong mothers build good character, but in the long run, they save their daughters hundreds to thousands of dollars working through their insecurities.
9. Don't allow your failures to define you
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Despite what others may say, getting back up after failing isn't always easy. After spending hours working endlessly on something and pouring their soul into it, it can be devastating to do all that work only to fail. Still, daughters raised by strong moms learned not to allow their failures to define them.
Sure, actively choosing not to succumb to the sadness or embarrassment of failure is hard. However, strong daughters take after their mothers and choose to see the bright side of things. Similar to their mothers, these daughters always look for the lesson of the failure rather than focusing on the results.
This, in turn, forces them to view their failure from a 'what can they do better' rather than a 'why did I fail' perspective. While it might be hard to do, changing their perspective leads to better outcomes, as strong daughters can bounce back from their failures, ensuring that they don't repeat the same mistakes again.
10. Never put your dreams on the back burner for anyone
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How often have women given up their dreams to satisfy their family, friends, or partner? Most likely, too many times to count. From not going to college to choosing a career they hate, daughters raised by weak moms will almost always give up their dreams to satisfy those around them.
It's unfortunate, but many of these daughters have been raised to be people pleasers by nature. As a result, they will drop anything and everything to make those around them comfortable. On the flip side, daughters raised by strong moms learned never to put their dreams on the back burner.
Call them selfish, but strong daughters raised by strong moms will never give up their dreams to make those around them comfortable. Even if it causes the inevitable tension or breakup, these daughters will always continue to pursue their passions, leading them down a path of success and happiness.
11. Confidence is key
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Finally, daughters raised by strong moms learned that confidence is key. While this might sound obvious, many women struggle to be confident. In a world that constantly treats women's bodies as trends, women are expected to be thin one minute and then thick the next.
As a result, many women, especially young women, find themselves spending thousands of dollars on surgery or lip injections, hoping that it'll make them more 'beautiful.' However, daughters raised by strong moms reject that idea and instead learn to embrace what they got.
Maybe it's their mom's confidence, uplifting words, and 'I don't care' attitude that rubbed off on them, but strong daughters refuse to belittle themselves from the looks they were given. Regardless of how much weight they gained or lost, these women choose to love themselves either way, causing them to have major confidence.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
