The Art Of Being A Good Mom: 10 Simple Habits Of Naturally Good Moms
Habits great mothers practice that make all the difference.
Josue Michel | Unsplash If you're stressing over how to be a good mom, take a breath. Nobody — and I mean nobody — gets this motherhood thing perfect. It's easy to scroll through social media and think other moms have it all figured out, but those are highlight reels, not real life. The truth is, being a good mother isn't about perfection. It's about showing up for your kids, staying patient when things fall apart, and giving yourself the same compassion you give them. As Life and Career Transformation Coach Lisa Petsinis says, “Being a great mom is being yourself — flaws, humanity, and all.”
Motherhood is beautiful and brutal all at once. You can't predict it, and you'll never fully master it — but you can get better at handling the chaos with grace. Naturally good moms share certain habits: they know when to slow down, when to play, and when to let things go. They understand that being present, kind, and consistent is what really shapes their children — not trying to look perfect. Here are the little habits of moms that prove being a good mother has nothing to do with perfection, and everything to do with love.
Here are the 10 simple habits of naturally good moms:
1. They give their kids their full attention — even if it's just for 20 minutes
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Sometimes you might get so caught up in your life or be thinking of so many other things that whatever your kid is doing isn't on your mind.
Try to give your kid more time with you and do whatever they want to do with them. Talk and play with them for a bit on a daily basis because there's nothing better than spending time just loving your child.
Giving your baby "mommy and me" time is important and very beneficial to their health. If you have an older kid and give them some of your time, they will really appreciate this and love that you are taking time out of your day to be with them. This could also be a great time for you to just cuddle with your little love bug and destress.
2. They get outside with their kids
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Who says you can't go on the slide, too? Have some fun with your kids and be free for a bit, playing with them outside, getting outside of your house on a mini adventure with your kids. Enjoy some fresh air and sunlight, and get some exercise in.
According to life coach Renee Jain, bicycling is a powerful form of self-soothing that promotes balance and exercise while being easy on the joints and can be done with the whole family. Running has also been shown to reduce stress and can sometimes be more effective than therapy, with a 10-minute jog affecting your child's mood immediately and extending its stress-relief benefits for several hours afterward.
3. They focus on what's going right
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If you feel like your kids are a disaster and you are a bad mother, this is because you're letting yourself focus on only the negative things in your life. Why not change your mindset and put more focus on the positives? You'll be a happier and better mother, and you will help your children feel better as well.
Let them know how much you loved something they recently did or said, or tell them that you appreciate them. Spend more time being grateful than pessimistic. This also means praising yourself for all the positive things you've done.
"Focus on how much you’ve done (changed the baby's diaper five times, fed the baby eight times…) doing your best job; just for today," Couples Therapist Lisa Rabinowitz suggests. "You will not be perfect; you are human. When a mother takes care of her emotional and physical well-being, she is role modeling important values and beliefs to her child."
4. They take care of themselves
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Sometimes you might forget about your own needs and wants when you are caring for your children's needs and wants. It's okay to sometimes take time for yourself and dive into some self-care activities.
Put your own needs ahead of your children once in a while because your whole life isn't always dedicated to being a mother. Spending quality time with yourself is very important for your health.
According to Rabinowitz, everyone’s definition of a perfect mother will be different, but the commonalities are being emotionally and physically healthy.
"When a mom performs self-care, ensures her emotional stability, and takes care of her emotional needs, she can be more present for her child. The same is also true of physical needs, such as taking naps if tired, making healthy food choices, and performing meditation, yoga, and/or exercise," she explains.
5. They don't take their child's behavior personally
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Sometimes kids are the worst and don't listen, behave, or do what you want them to do, and it can be extremely frustrating. When this happens, remember that it's not a reflection of you or something you might have personally done to make them behave in this way.
"Moms need to be gentle, kind, and compassionate with themselves as they transition into a new stage of life and role," Rabinowitz says. "Every day will be different and will have new challenges." Calm down and don't let their bad mood and whining get the best of you.
6. They create little family traditions
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One of the most fun things you can do as a parent is create and stick to your own family tradition. That could be a specific day or holiday each year that you make up, where you and your family go somewhere and do something fun, or even one where you just spend the day at home together cooking and lounging around.
Whatever the case, make some sort of simple tradition that you'll be able to carry on to your kids that they will enjoy as well.
According to researcher Dr. Justin Coulson, children who grow up in households with family traditions tend to live happier lives, fueled by a sense of belonging, higher self-esteem, a stronger identity, and better mental health overall. By making intentional traditions a priority, parents actively bond with their children while teaching them the importance of cultivating connection and community.
7. They put down their phone
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In this day and age, lots of people are addicted to their phones, and this can be an issue both for new moms and mothers with children already. Sometimes we spend up to 1 or 3 whole hours a day on our phones, and that's time you could be using to spend with your children.
Being on your phone too much could also influence your child to want to play on your phone, or, like lots of kids, ask to play on your iPad.
Whatever you do, don't give your child an iPad. Play board games with them or games outside that don't require an internet connection. It can be good to unplug for a bit.
8. They always have their child's back
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Show your child that you will be there for them no matter what. You are their mother, their number one fan, and their number one supporter. Be there for them, and you can do that by showing up for them.
Be at all of the soccer games and school recitals that your schedule allows, or help them out if they are struggling with homework. Show them that when they really need you, you will be there to support them.
According to stress management expert Dr. Cynthia Ackrill, children feel more resilient and capable when they know that mom and dad have their back. This foundation of knowing they can count on you makes all the difference in how children develop their ability to handle life's challenges.
9. They stop comparing themselves to other moms
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It can be hard not to compare yourself to others when there are lots of moms out there, especially glamorous celebrity mothers who seem like they are perfect. Don't even go there with the comparison game because you're only going to stress yourself out.
This also includes comparing yourself to your own mom and dad. Don't let anyone make you think that you are a bad mother.
According to parenting expert Roland Legge, being a parent means being imperfect because "to be human is to be imperfect — it doesn't mean you're a bad parent." Legge emphasizes that if you take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally, you'll be in the best position to respond to your children with love, compassion, and guidance.
10. They let their kids be themselves
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If you are trying too hard to raise your child to be somebody other than who they are, you need to stop. It's better to let your child be who they want to be and let them make decisions once they get older about what they want to wear, play with, and who they want to be.
Don't try to influence them to be something they are not. Give them unconditional love and support, and make them feel good about themselves.
Megan Hatch is a writer at YourTango who covers news and entertainment, love and relationships, and internet culture.
