Adults Who Were Their Grandparents' Favorites As Kids Usually Have These 11 Traits
Being your grandparents' favorite comes with a few special traits.
Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock If you grew up with grandparents nearby, you likely wanted to be their favorite. Whether you were competing with siblings or cousins to come out on top, being the one with the closest bond was everyone’s goal. While grandparents shouldn’t pick a favorite grandkid, it happens. They may not make it obvious to everyone else, but the one experiencing the favoritism will certainly know it.
What makes one grandchild the favorite over the others? Sometimes, it’s as simple as who lives the closest. “It may be genuinely hard for a grandparent to treat all grandchildren equally, especially when geographic distance, health challenges, and busy calendars come into play. Distance makes it harder for grandparents to develop close relationships with faraway grandkids, while those who live locally get extra attention,” says Malia Jacobson. At other times, it can be who they bond with the most easily. Maybe they share a special interest with a particular child. Either way, grandma or grandpa’s favorite may develop special traits as a result.
Adults who were their grandparents' favorites as kids usually have these 11 traits
1. They have a strong sense of family identity
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Growing up as their grandparents’ favorite, these adults were likely told rich stories about their family history. They would hear stories of their grandparents’ grandparents. They spent so much time with them that they got to know the ins and outs of the generations that came before them. They were told about their roots, where their family originated from, and just how far back the family tree goes.
Since they came of age surrounded by family history, they feel a strong connection to their identity. They are proud of their roots. They have a deep connection to their last name and the people who share it with them. They are proud of their history and fully embrace it.
2. They are empathetic
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Spending time with the older generation in their family so often grants the favorite grandchildren a special kind of empathy. They grew up so close to their grandparents that they endured every hardship with them. They learned about their struggles from before they were born and likely saw them endure health problems. They know that life isn’t easy because of them and grant that empathy to everyone they meet.
Children who had close bonds with their grandparents often received a special level of empathy from them that they then carry into their own lives.
“Grandparents also have a special way of offering empathy and sympathy. They may not always fix the problem, but they’re great at active listening—really hearing how you feel without judging,” says Pacific Health Group. “In some families, especially where grandparents live nearby or help with caregiving, this support feels like peer support within the family. It reminds kids that they’re not facing life’s challenges alone.”
3. They have patience
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As much as we love them, let’s be honest. Sometimes, it can be difficult to spend time with our grandparents. Whether they move a bit too slowly or struggle to understand technology, it can take a lot of patience. Being your grandparents' favorite means you spent a lot of time with them growing up, which taught you a lot of patience.
They also learn patience from watching their grandparents display it to them. Growing up, we are all monsters at some point. Our grandparents never let it get to them. They showed patience and support, no matter the circumstance. Teaching this skill to their grandchildren allows them to absorb and implement it in their own lives.
4. They are resilient
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When you spend a lot of time with your grandparents, you have likely seen them go through ups and downs. It could be from stories they share with you about the past, or the medical struggles that come along with aging. No matter how you learned of their problems, they taught you resilience. You have watched them push through time and time again. They wanted you to know that whatever you go through, you will come out on top.
“Resilience means being able to cope with tough events. When something bad happens, you still feel anger, grief, and pain. But you're able to keep going, both physically and psychologically,” says the Mayo Clinic. “Resilience isn't about putting up with something tough or coping on your own. In fact, being able to reach out to others for support is a key part of being resilient.”
Grandparents provide the support to their favorite grandchild that allows them to grow through times of pain.
5. They communicate well
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I don’t know about you, but growing up, my grandparents always wanted me to use my words. They taught me how to explain my feelings clearly. I remember moments where I was feeling overly emotional as a child, and my grandmother helped me slow down and share my feelings through words. These tips helped me grow into a better communicator.
Our grandparents came from a generation where communication was important. They weren’t talking to their friends and families through the internet or text messages. They were having in-person conversations. This made them strong communicators, which they then passed down to their favorite grandchild.
6. They respect their elders
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When you’re the favorite of your grandparents as a child, you grow up admiring the older generation. Your grandparents were likely your favorite people, too. Having a strong bond with them made connecting and respecting elders in your life easier. In fact, you may have even favored having a conversation with the older members of your family at a gathering over those closer to your age.
“Respecting elders also means recognizing their dignity as human beings. As people age, they may face physical or mental challenges that make life more difficult,” says Visiting Angels Living Assistance Services. “It’s easy to forget that even as their physical needs change, their need for respect, kindness, and care remains just as strong. Every person deserves to feel valued, no matter their age.”
7. They are good storytellers
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Growing up, I was always excited to hear stories from my grandparents. Whether it was a story about family history or a tall tale from their childhood, I looked forward to hearing what they had to say. Now, as an adult, I still love to hear the stories from my grandparents. Even though I am in my 30s, I still learn something new every time I talk to them.
Grandparents are the ultimate storytellers. When they have a favorite grandchild, they will especially love telling them stories. As a result, when that grandkid grows into an adult, they take on that same trait. We all have that friend who can share tidbits of their day like it’s a scene from a movie. They likely acquired that skill from their grandparents.
8. They are confident
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If you were the favorite grandchild as a kid, you likely grew up getting praise, support, and reassurance from your grandparents. You will carry that confidence into your adult lives. Knowing that you always had someone in your corner made you a stronger individual. Plus, there is no shortage of compliments when you’re the favorite. You likely grew up having strong self-esteem.
“Grandparents often have the opportunity to share their knowledge, wisdom, and family traditions with their grandchildren. Such early experiences strengthen a grandchild's self-esteem and reinforce beliefs, norms, and values while creating opportunities to explore identity in the context of one's family,” says Thomas R. Verny, M.D. “Recent research suggests that grandparent involvement during childhood, conceptualized as the amount of contact and emotional closeness, is positively linked to emotional development, cognitive functioning, and social adjustment in early adulthood. The lessons learned from grandparent-grandchild relationships in childhood, especially those related to spirituality and moral development, persist into early adulthood.”
9. They are supportive
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Having the love and support of grandparents can make a world of difference for a child. When you’re their favorite, it’s even more powerful. They especially nurture them. They teach them how to be strong, independent adults who know that they always have someone in their corner supporting them.
When you have the constant support of your grandparents growing up, you develop the ability to be supportive as an adult. They understand the value of having a supportive presence in their lives. They want to be that person to those who mean a lot to them. It’s a special trait that gets passed down from their grandparents.
10. They appreciate the simple things
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When I would visit my grandparents' house growing up, I was always excited to just spend time with them. While we would sometimes go on exciting outings, my favorite part was just sitting at the dining room table and talking. We never had to do anything extravagant. It taught me to appreciate the simple things in life.
“Many grandparents have a profound appreciation for the simple joys in life, such as spending time with loved ones or enjoying nature,” writes Child Care Ed. “They remind us to slow down and savor these moments, as they often hold the most meaning. Their stories of simple pleasures encourage us to find joy in the everyday.”
11. They bring generations together
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There is nothing more special than the bond between family. Growing up close to your grandparents likely taught you the importance of bringing generations together. These adults who were their favorites become in charge of intergenerational guidance. They know the importance of learning family history and encourage the younger generations to feel the same.
Grandparents became mentors for their grandchildren to bring this skill into the rest of the family.
“This kind of mentorship is powerful. It creates a bridge between generations, where kids can learn and grow through their grandparents’ eyes,” says My Pacific Health. “By sharing what they’ve learned, grandparents help grandchildren build confidence, make better choices, and understand themselves—and the world around them — a little better.”
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
