11 Things People Raised With Strong Family Values Do Differently As Adults
Keeping your family close may be one of the best choices you can make.
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock Growing up with strong family values shapes the way you approach life well after you leave home. The respect, thoughtfulness, and compassion transfer over into the principles that you later teach your own children. These values are a reminder of the lessons you learned in your childhood home and an indication of how you will treat others in the future.
As adults, people raised with strong family values do things differently than those who weren't. They use those lessons as stepping stones to navigate their way through a world filled with challenges and opportunities. Even when they go off on their own, they never forget the people who helped them get there. This is the true power of family influence, a structure that benefits future generations.
Here are 11 things people raised with strong family values do differently as adults
1. Prioritize relationships over material success
Kandybka Alina | Shutterstock
People who were raised with strong family values put other people above material things. The value of a person is worth far more than anything you can buy or have. They were taught this by their parents, who were their role models in regard to how a romantic relationship is supposed to work. This is because the quality of your relationship with your parents can actually affect your married life later on.
Supportive relationships with both mothers and fathers are positively associated with their adult children's marital quality. The example set by your parents serves as a blueprint for your future romantic relationships. When there is negativity or a lack of support from your parents, it can affect you by preventing you from forming close bonds.
2. Communicate with respect and honesty
PR Image Factory | Shutterstock
Growing up in a home where respect and honesty were valued means you are likely to value those same things as an adult. Honesty plays a key role in how trust works in relationships. People who were raised with strong family values know that when they make mistakes, they shouldn't fear accountability, as they live by a strong ethical code.
A study published in the International Journal of Social Economics found that people from households with strong family ties exhibited higher levels of ethical and moral values. These types translate into how well they can handle conflict and nurture their friendships. Everyone in their family knows how great they are, and that when it comes to passing this on to the next generation, they will surely do so.
3. Stay close to their families
Vergani Fotografia | Shutterstock
Staying close to their families is one of the most important things someone can do in life. A survey by Pew Research Center found that 76% of American adults consider family to be the most important element of their lives, and 75% expressed high satisfaction with their family life. This love of family comes from their own upbringing around relatives and cousins with whom they grew up.
Family-oriented people tend to keep in touch with both distant and immediate relatives and go out of their way to call and visit them. This may seem different than people who only visit family occasionally, or worse, don't even like certain members of the family and embrace solitude in order to avoid them.
While there's nothing wrong with choosing your own family or not having any at all, this may lead to a lack of support and emotional connection.
4. Practice responsibility and accountability
Chay_Tee | Shutterstock
As children, they grew up not knowing anything about responsibility or accountability, but thanks to their parents' involvement, they quickly learned how to implement them. With parental guidance, they slowly learned what it takes to become an adult and how they should interact with others. According to research, a gradual shift of responsibility from parents to children can teach them accountability, which can contribute to the development of responsible behavior in adulthood.
Now, as adults, they are more responsible thanks to their parents, who helped teach them that everyone makes mistakes, but those who take accountability for it are considered different. These fortunate people can say that their parents have their best interests at heart. Learning strong family values starts with parents and ends with parents.
5. Make thoughtful parenting decisions
Sergey Nivens | Shutterstock
Parents eventually come to learn that the quality of the relationship they have with their children when they are older is dependent on how they treated them when they were growing up. This is what families who manage to stay in contact have already figured out on their own. Making thoughtful parenting decisions, like helping your children through the most stressful times in their lives, can help them rely on you more in the future.
According to a study published by Frontiers, parents who help their children emotionally regulate during stressful times help improve their children's decision-making skills. Parents who raised their children with strong values want them to make better decisions than they made as parents. It's all about being a bit better than the generation before you.
6. Give back to their community
Gorodenkoff | Shutterstock
When you are raised to give more than you take, this can be a positive and a negative. The good thing is that you often give more to charities and love to help others in their most vulnerable moments. However, the bad news is that sometimes your generosity might be taken advantage of by other people. Whatever the case may be, you stand by your upbringing because, without it, you would feel like a person who lacks compassion.
People who were raised with the value of giving back to their community are a rarity to find. This is because they were taught to be grateful for what they had and share what little they could among others if they had the means to do so. They will go out of their way to ensure that the little guy gets a piece of the pie. These philanthropic endeavors help those who really need it and inspire others to do the same.
7. Manage conflict constructively
Nomad_Soul | Shutterstock
Children who witness arguing in their youth can be negatively affected by it, but if their parents work through the conflict and resolve it in front of them, it can actually show them that solving conflict is possible without aggression. According to a study from the University of Arizona, children whose parents manage conflict constructively with calm communication and solid problem-solving skills tend to develop better social skills. This helps them face conflict head-on in a more effective manner.
As adults, they don't shy away from fixing the problems that they have with others because they know that anything can be solved with a bit of conversation. Having this skill can help them in leadership positions in the future when conflict resolution needs to occur in order to progress. They can motivate those who have doubts about a situation and comfort them should they have issues.
8. Value traditions
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
Family traditions don't necessarily have to be reserved for holidays and family get-togethers. For instance, a mother sitting down to watch a movie with her children every weekend is a small tradition that her children will value in the future and even pass it down to their children.
As adults, these children look back at these memories fondly and practice them with their own children as a way to keep their parents with them. Passing down traditions is what keeps the family lineage alive and thriving. Some families don't have this mentality anymore, but for the families that do, they know that a little piece of them will continue to move forward.
9. Show empathy and compassion
Studio Romantic | Shutterstock
Showing empathy and compassion in the home is important for children to witness because it shows them how to treat other people. JoAnn Stevelos, MS, MPH, revealed that children learn empathy and kindness by observing their parents. These keen observations help to instill in them a sense of humility that many are lacking nowadays. When they grow up and lack empathy towards others, you immediately feel as if your parenting is where you went wrong.
However, to be empathetic is a choice, so when your adult child actively chooses to treat people poorly, it is actually a combination of both childhood observation and the environment they put themselves in. If you have a child who spends more time with others who lack empathy, then by design, they will behave similarly. It’s never too late for people to change their behaviors. All it takes is a little time and inner work.
10. Choose partners who share their core values
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
When looking for a relationship, people who were raised with strong family values should look for someone who shares those sentiments. If open communication is a valued trait among the family, then a partner who grew up the same way can be a better fit than a partner who bottles up their emotions. As Kristen Fuller, M.D., put it, talking openly about the relationship can prevent misunderstandings and reduce expectations, which can strengthen the bond.
This doesn't necessarily mean that a person who is different from your family values can't fit into it well, but it takes a lot more effort on both sides to make it work. There are ways to discover what these core values are simply by looking back at your childhood and remembering what made you the happiest. Once you look back at those moments, finding a partner who fits those qualities becomes easier.
11. Demonstrate loyalty and commitment
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock
As children, our minds are far from thinking about loyalty and commitment. The first glance of this dynamic is through our parents' relationships, and for some, they learn about it quicker than others. It's an unfortunate situation when children deal with their parents' divorce or some other difficulty between them, but there is a silver lining that can come in the form of a lesson: you can't change the way a person chooses to behave, no matter how hard you try.
Loyalty is simply a bond shared between two people, while commitment is a choice to take responsibility for a promise that you made. This is a strong lesson to be learned for those who didn't have the same experience as others.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
