How To Kiss A Guy So He’ll Never Leave You

Photo: Unsplash: Wesley Quinn
How To Kiss A Guy So He’ll Fall In Love, Want To Get Married & Never Leave
Love

Sounds like a fairy tale ... right?

Among the most important dating and relationship tips a woman can learn is how to kiss a guy in such a way that he'll not only fall in love and want to get married, but he will never, ever want to leave her side.

That is because few things convey the magic of new romantic relationships the way kisses do.

The touching of lips marks the moment when talking stops and passion takes over. That first kiss is the start of a singularly intimate connection between two people as they begin to fall in love, serving as a symbol of engagement, binding a couple together.

Kissing creates a deeply soulful connection as little else can.

But, is it possible to kiss a guy in such a way that he’ll never want to leave you? And if so, what kind of kiss would that be?

 

RELATED: 3 Kissing Techniques Guaranteed To Catch Any Man's Attention

 

In fairy tales, we see kisses so powerful they can transform a frog into a prince.

At least, that’s the way Walt Disney wanted us to sees them.

Think of the moment when the Prince kisses Snow White and wakes her from her deadly sleep. What a kiss that must have been!

The idea of a kiss capable breaking an evil spell and transforming someone is literally magical, and it’s no wonder this romantic theme has endured over time.

It’s no wonder we would all want to have the power to win someone's love forever with nothing more than a simple, perfect kiss.

While we don’t live in a fairy tale, kissing is a starting point from which romantic relationships begin and deepen. Kissing is a step on the journey's path, rather than the end point of a short, though beautiful story.

James Joyce’s modernist novel "Ulysses" tells the story of how a man by the name of Leopold Bloom survives infidelity on the part of his wife, Molly.

The final section of the book takes place as Molly lies in bed next to her husband, reflecting in her mind on her life and lovers, and recalling the moment when she kissed Leopold upon accepting his marriage proposal — the moment when she chose him and said, "Yes."

"[He] asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes."

Unlike the kisses of fairy tales, that remembered kiss is one fully weighted with the trials of life?

So which kiss would you choose: the fairy tale kiss capable of magical transformations, or the kiss that conveys our most life-affirming choices?

 

RELATED: How To Make Your Boyfriend A Better Kisser

 

In life and in deep relationships, we have to be able to give up some of our wishes. We have to come to terms with the facts of life, which include not having magical powers.

While we might wish someone will never leave us, we can’t bind them to us.

Our life’s task is to become the best version of ourselves that we can, and this process includes recognizing that no matter how good our kissing is, there is always the risk that our relationships will fail.

While this might sound disappointing and not enough like the fairy tale version we'd like to choose, it is real life.

It is more like what we might get, and what we get probably won't depend on how we kiss.

Not wanting someone to leave us is one thing, but when we love, we are always at risk of losing what we have. It's part of what makes our relationships special.

If we become overly attached to never wanting someone to leave us, we might drift into something neurotic. After all, we don’t want to keep our partner locked up, nor would we want to be locked up in some secret room in a lover’s castle (although I concede that might sound like a good plot line for a "Fifty Shades" type scenario).

In love, we must give up control.

When we focus on control and insist on having our own way to the extent that no one will ever leave us, we become like the most dangerous characters in fiction, more like the omnipotent people in an episode of "The Twilight Zone" than like real people who must learn how to adapt to the chance events life throws at us.

We want to be with partners who will want to be with us long after the intensity of first love and passionate kissing fades.

We want to follow our dreams and visions of who we can be and what we can do, and we want to be with partners who want us because of that — partners who will even help us to pursue our dreams and develop our talents.

We can still work on making our dreams come true, and we don’t have to wait for fairy tale magic to make it happen.

 

RELATED: 8 Tips To Help You Kiss Like A Pro

 

Toby Ingham is a psychotherapist with a particular interest in how we transform our lives and selves. He also writes on a range of subjects on his website.

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