This Is The One HUGE Thing You Must Do After Your Divorce

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how to get over a divorce

"Life is ours to be spent, not saved." ~ D.H. Lawrence 

Life is an incredible adventure.

Sometimes we're alone on a ship (like the ship of divorce) out in the middle of a raging sea. We're holding on for dear life not knowing if we will live or die. Sometimes we're on a raft floating on a shallow, warm lagoon sipping fresh squeezed pineapple juice wondering how life could be any more beautiful. Sometimes we're on a tugboat or a barge doing our work and pulling into port after a job completed and well done and feeling satisfied and content. 

Wherever you find yourself today, even if it's in a particularly hard place like divorce, remember that life is, above all, to be spent.

Spend it kicking and screaming when you must. Spend it singing a beautiful song when you can. Spend it laughing and sharing and hugging and caring. But spend it! Especially during and after your divorce, don't hole up in your little dark room of sadness, fear, and insecurity. 

Life is the ultimate insecurity, so accept that.

Get out there and make some mistakes. Give relationships everything you've got. Sometimes they'll work out. Sometimes they won't. But the joy is in the spending. People will be drawn to you because of your enthusiasm and your boisterous, full-out attitude about life.

Life is nothing if not exciting. And you make it exciting by deciding to live to the fullest in spite of this divorce

Do good things for yourself today.

One really good thing you can do is to make life good for the people you come in contact with ... in small ways and big ways. Hoarding who we are is a small and selfish way to live.

Even though your ex hurt you, YOU decide what you will do with that hurt. Will it make you bitter and ugly and small? Or will it make you stronger and more determined to make life wonderful in spite of what anyone else is doing? 

Only you can decide how to spend your life today. Don't keep the wonderful person that you are to yourself! 

"For anyone who keeps his life for himself shall lose it; and anyone who loses his life for Me shall find it again." — Matthew 16:25 

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This article was originally published at Midlife Divorce Recovery. Reprinted with permission from the author.