Is Your Marriage In Jeopardy If Others Find Your Spouse Enticing?


Don't worry, be happy!

I recently underwent the heady experience of entering a fitness competition for the first time, which meant getting on stage in front of hundreds of folks in a skimpy bikini to show off how far I'd come in my 40-pound weight loss journey. This was all thanks to my trainer and a whole bunch of folks who helped me get that far.

As a 45-year-old woman, I found it great that plenty of people in the world of bodybuilding and strength training felt like I fit in among their realm, enough to throw bunches of compliments my way.

They weren't only women dishing out kind words to me, like the one woman who I threw my arms around for being so sweet. There were younger guys as well calling me "yellow bikini" and telling me I looked great.

Perhaps it was a marriage intuition, but was kind of funny when I related the story to my husband, telling him about all the generous things people said. Though he smiled, my better half had to dip out of the conversation. I had a feeling he didn't want to hear too much about younger men finding me attractive.

I heeded his wishes, but I also repeated my theory to him— that it's a good thing when members of the opposite sex find a person's spouse attractive. After all, who wants a mate that no one finds alluring in a come-hither type of way?

Let's say a wife hires a maid service in Miami. Understandably, while she might avoid having some young and hot chick in a sexy uniform around her house all day and all night, she might not mind if another woman sees the beauty in her own husband. And I'm not talking physical looks alone.

To me, it's normal if other folks can see the funny side of your spouse. It's ordinary for others to spot their intelligence and the rest of their positive attributes. After all, those are the reasons why we got married in the first place! We admire all these delightful qualities about the person to whom we betrothed.

Therefore, it should come as no surprise when other people feel a sense of attraction to those same factors. Those qualities are a part of both you and your spouse for all the world to see. 

The trouble comes only when a married person forgets that they're married and crosses the line. This can make the admirorer think that they're available, risking that admiration to jump to a new level. Their admiration can turn into a deeper flirtation. And in the worse cases, it can cross the forbidden taboo line into adultery.

As long as the appreciation for a person's beauty and personality stays on the up-and-up, remarks from others should rank as a compliment. It can also act as a big ego boost for a long-married person to realize they still have "it" and aren't dead inside.

Besides, a happy marriage generally involves a few jealous encounters. These situations can always help keep one another on their toes in the romance and appreciation departments.