7 Tiny Signs Your Boyfriend Is Probably Your Husband
Seven subtle signs add up to one big yes.
wundervisuals | Canva You love him and want to take your relationship to the next level. But is he the one for you? You're getting older and feeling it's time to settle down with your boyfriend. Your friends and family like him, but how do you feel about him? What are the signs that he loves you?
It's easy to look at the more obvious things, like what kind of job he has or how he looks. In the long run, those things can turn out to be superficial. This doesn't mean they aren't important in relationships, but there is more to a man. There is more to the man who is meant for you.
He's the one you want. But how do you know for sure? My parents managed to stay together for nearly 59 years, and I watched them go through highs and lows. Until the end, they had each other's back. And that's what stood out to me the most.
Here are 7 tiny signs your boyfriend is probably your husband:
1. He doesn't try to change you
Nothing is worse in a relationship than feeling like your partner is trying to change you. He knows you love cats, and that is okay. He knows you grew up with cats. They mean a lot to you, so he will be sure there is always a cat in your life. He knows you, inside and out, and accepts you, inside and out. This is a great feeling to let you know he has your back no matter what. This is really what you want in a healthy relationship.
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2. You have the same spiritual beliefs
This can be a tricky one these days. We all know religion is used to manipulate and control, and a controlling mindset can have a significant influence on your relationship. Religious control often has the opposite impact from its core teachings — forgiveness, humility, honesty, openness, respect, and sacrificial giving. Yet, you need these core values in healthy relationships especially when you are in it for the long haul. Couples who share core values stay together.
3. His actions speak louder than his words
Words need to be backed by action. If they aren't, then it's not sincere. When he apologizes, he doesn't keep doing the same thing. You know he loves you because he says it. But you also know it because he shows it. He remembers your anniversary — not just when you officially started dating, but when you first met at your friend's party. He's willing to accept your brother's quirks because he knows this means he gets to be with you.
He's willing to help you with your car payment and not throw it in your face. He doesn't play Even Steven. He's not just making one deposit in the bank, he's making many deposits. And he doesn't need to be prompted over and over.
4. He brags about you to his family and his friends
When he knows you are the one, he is excited to introduce you to his family and friends. He can't stop talking about you. He has good things to say about you. And, you know this, and you love it. He's not just bragging about you, he is letting them know how important you are to him.
5. He smiles when you are around
You know by his body language and his tone that, without a doubt, he's into you. This is an important one. You want your partner to be excited when he sees you at the end of the day. You want to be his favorite part of the day. Without him saying a word, you know. What an amazing feeling it is when you know your partner loves you! This will help you get through the difficult times (like when the plumbing suddenly breaks down and you are left with a huge bill).
6. You know you are his priority
When you ask him to go to an event that is important to you, he will, even if it means asking for time off from work. If he travels for work, he checks in with you as soon as he lands and continues to text or call you. He lets you know how his trip is going. He talks about the details of his day. So, you know the important things are happening at work for him. He will tell his best buddy he needs to call him back when he is in the middle of a critical conversation with you.
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7. He's seen you at your worst and hasn't left
He stuck with you when you got fired and your roommate suddenly moved out. You had a breakdown, but it didn't scare him away. He was there for you. He listened to you. You can cry in front of him and not worry about being judged. Now, you've found a great job and have a new roommate. What a good feeling!
It's natural to want a loving and healthy relationship in your life. But you also want to be sure you have good boundaries. This helps when you make one of the biggest decisions in your life. You want your partner to be your best friend. The good news is this can happen. You just need to keep working on it.
Lianne Avila is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in San Mateo, CA. Her work has been featured in Psych Central, BRIDES, and Prevention.
