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By Laurel House — Written on May 09, 2020
When it comes to different types of penises, some people claim that big is always best.
Others are afraid of too-long schlongs. And then there are the incessant jokes about guys with small packages.
And you know what? I'm sick of the stereotypes, judgments, and the bad talk about men's penis size.
He has zero control over what he was endowed with. I, personally, don't find it fair that those men with small penises are made to feel like less of a man. Because believe me, they aren't.
In fact, the truth of the matter regarding that age-old question — "Does size matter?" — is that sometimes guys who have a small or average-sized penis are better in the sack than those with a "third leg."
So, I'm going to do a little compare and contrast of the pros and cons based on four common penis shapes, exploring the good and bad of each.
Of course, there are other types of penises not mentioned here.
Plus, the size and shape of a woman's vagina, as well as her own personal sensitivity in that general region, play a role in her overall satisfaction.
Sure, we all have our preferences and that's great, but it's simply not as clear-cut as whether or not penis size matters.
With that caveat in place, here are 4 common types of penises and what their various shapes and sizes mean for your sex life.
1. The Burrito.
Some guys who have "burritos" present their package like a "ta-da!" They pull their gigantic slab of meat out of their jeans, not realizing the instant fear that they're inducing in their soon-to-be partner's mind as she wonders, "Could this thing rip me in half?"
The good: It fills you up completely, creating major pressure and stimulation in all areas.
The bad: He may be overly proud of his big guy, making him too aggressive with it. As a result, he may forget that, like taffy, vaginas need some time to warm up and stretch out to avoid tearing. It can be so big that it simply hurts — or you may be too afraid to even try at all.
2. The Banana.
Like a banana, this penis is curved slightly upward (think of a pointer finger giving someone the "come hither" signal).
The good: Because it's curved up, it has the opportunity to constantly rub against the upper wall in the vagina, which also happens to be where the G-spot is supposed to be. That constant rubbing can make for very good sex, even if the guy has poor technique and is pretty much clueless as to what he's doing.
The bad: Many guys with this type of curve can initially be insecure about their turned-up shape, even apologizing for its form. But there's no need to apologize. Looks don't always matter, and you've got natural skills you didn't even know about.
3. The Hook.
Similar but opposite of the Banana, the Hook is a penis that's hooked with a curve that points down like a flamingo's beak.
The good: Doggy-style is awesome with a hook because it is shaped to perfectly hit your G-spot. There are also several fun and exciting positions that feel extra nice, like backward bull-riding (girl on top, facing his feet).
The bad: In traditional missionary position, it isn't going to rub you the right way when it comes to your G-spot, since the pecker is pointing down. No matter how he thrusts, the angle, or speed, he naturally bows away.
4. The Pocket Rocket.
He may be small, but don't underestimate him. Remember: many powerful, successful, and sexy men are diminutive (Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, and Napoleon Bonaparte).
The good: These guys know that they have big competition out there, and they've often taken that challenge to task by perfecting their techniques, including honing their skill at giving oral sex. Men with little guys can be as good at moving their man as any battery-powered pocket rocket.
Because falling out can often occur, missionary and doggy style are generally the best positions, which can make for even more intimate sex, including lots of kissing and full-body contact.
Men with this penis size are also much more pleasant to give oral sex to. Your mouth won't be nearly as sore after, which allows you to do it longer and more often.
The bad: The little guy can also fall out of you if conditions get too slick or positions become too peculiar. When this happens, don't freak out or be embarrassed; just slip him back in.
Some chicks do like the sensation of being completely filled up, which you simply won't get with a Pocket Rocket.
Now, with all of that in mind, can you really say that it's just the size and shape of a penis that matters when it comes to the effectiveness of bringing you to orgasm?
The fact is, some sizes won't ever give you a chance to bring you to orgasm.
Laurel House is an international celebrity dating and relationship coach, a dating coach on E!’s “Famously Single,” and writer who has appeared in Oprah, Vogue, The Washington Post, and 500 other media outlets. Find out more about her new dating course, Love Actually Academy.
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