10 Signs The Guy You Like Is A Player (And He's Gonna Use You & Lose You)

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signs a guy is using you

Picture this scenario. You met your dream guy on a Monday night at a social mixer. He couldn't keep his eyes off you. There was instant chemistry.

He asks you out for Friday night, which appears to be a good sign as it's one of the weekend evenings. He takes your phone number and sends you a flirty text message on your ride home saying how he can't wait until Friday night.

You remember your first kiss with this handsome hunk the whole ride home. You think about what's on your calendar in the next week and how you can rearrange your schedule to fit him in, even before your first date.

You call your BFF with great enthusiasm about the new guy you just met. Your body is tingling with excitement.

But is your imagination getting the best of you? Perhaps, yes.

Read these signs to determine if it was love at first sight or if your upcoming date is just him adding you to his harem.

1. He cancels your first date.

Unless he's truly sick or has a business meeting out of town, your dream date may have been caught up in the moment when he double-booked you.

If you hear excuses like he has the flu, or a relative came in from out of town at the last minute, if he's really that into you, he won't break your very important first date.

2. He asks you out for weeknight dates only.

If you become the Wednesday night girl, you should be wondering what he is doing on a Friday or Saturday night. After a few dates, it's only appropriate to be on his calendar during a weekend evening.

3. He doesn't introduce you to his friends or family.

After a few months of dating and several conversations for upcoming events with his friends and family that he never follows up on, don't believe he is going alone. There's probably someone else that is higher on the totem pole in his arms.

You aren't his number one girl.

Sure, it sounds logical, but he'll keep you hanging with promises of scheduling another event to take you to, to make sure he can still get you into bed.

4. He calls you last minute for dates.  

If your dream date calls you the day-of, or even the day before a date to get together, don't get excited and change your plans with your girlfriends to accommodate him. You aren't a priority if you aren't on the calendar at least several days beforehand.

He may be asking several women out at the same time. Whoever responds first may end up being his booty call.

You're a busy girl. Let him know he needs to plan several days in advance if he wants to see you. 

5. He consistently cancels dates at the last minute.

If you are getting cancelled on the day of your date more than once, it's a red flag. Don't put up with it.

The dog didn't eat his paper.

6. He introduces you as his friend.

 If you are sleeping with a guy who doesn't call you his girlfriend, significant other, or other pet name in public, you're just a friend with benefits.

Who cares that he brings you flowers? It's time to get out of your dream world and find a man who wants to call you his girl.

7. He disappears for days at a time.

When your guy is MIA, especially on the weekends, and reappears with no explanation as if nothing is wrong, don't give him the benefit of the doubt.

He's more than a magician. He's a professional juggler and quite simply, a player.

8. He's vague and mysterious.

While you might think it's sexy to have a little mystery in the relationship, when he's consistently vague about his whereabouts, he's hiding something.

A guy who is into you and isn't juggling multiple women at a time, will have no problem freely sharing his information and will tell the truth. His stories will be consistent. If you catch him in a lie, chances are he's lying to other women as well. 

9. He often mentions other women as his business associates.

If your guy consistently goes to business mixers in the evening to meet with potential female clients, chances are he's going on a date. He'll likely be referring to you as the same.

10. He refuses to get tested for an STD.

Don't buy the line that he's not sleeping with anyone else but you.

If you are moving towards an intimate relationship, get tested before the clothes end up on the floor in a night of passion. Practice safe sex, period. Don't have unprotected sex without being tested. It's about romance, respect, and responsibility. The classic player is likely to be having sex with multiple partners without protection.

All his women think they are the only one. Don't get caught up in a moment of passion that you might regret.

If your new guy fits into several of these categories, he's likely to be a serial dater and a player.

Take a look in the mirror and move on. Find a man who is excited about introducing you to his friends and is proud to have you on his arm in public.

Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.


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