Why you sometimes feel you are not deserving of love—and how to change it!
By Jane Kennedy — Written on Dec 07, 2011
Is there a repeating problem in some area of your life? It is usually a good indication that you are entertaining a false or limiting belief. Do You Talk Down To Yourself?
Do you ever feel you aren't good enough or deserving of love? Do you think all the good ones are taken so you should lower your expectations and settle for less? Do you think you will be abandoned or hurt if you love too much?
These thoughts come from core beliefs — something we all accept as true, without question, and without argument. As core beliefs accumulate over the years, they run in the background at such a discreet level, we are usually not even aware they are there.
If we run negative beliefs, our attitudes and behaviors are compromised, crippling our potential for success and happiness in relationships and all other aspects of our lives. 9 Habits of Highly Successful Love Attractors
If our core beliefs are positive and empowering, it is reflected in our attitudes, behavior, and performance. So, how can you change your deeply held ideas and beliefs?
Awareness. These beliefs need to be uncovered, brought to the forefront, and studied carefully. To make a conscious change, you must first be aware of your beliefs and examine where they began. Are Your Beliefs About Relationships Holding You Back
Sound scary? Actually, beliefs are nothing more than repetitive thoughts that have become so automatic; you don't even notice them anymore. Nevertheless, it is healthy and less intimidating to go on this journey with an individual or group you can trust.
Beliefs are often trapped in the subconscious mind. Interaction with others can help bring these beliefs to the surface. Our sense of reality can get so tied up; polarized and distorted. It is almost impossible to see which beliefs are working and which are holding us back. In an environment of safety, other people can help us sort these out.
Awareness is a powerful tool. False beliefs can set up conditions for a self-fulfilling prophecy, where the expected result or prediction is more likely to happen because of the things we've unwittingly done to prepare for it.
Keep in mind that we are always on the lookout for reasons to validate our beliefs. If we believe we probably will fail in a relationship, a job, or any challenge we take on, it is more likely to happen. Becoming Your Own Love Advocate!
But, there is good news! Once we are aware of our limiting beliefs, we can choose to create new beliefs that are not limiting. How? By defining our new beliefs (write them down!) and by living them … in baby steps. Also, be sure to look at your attitude and body language — or get another opinion. You will be smarter for having the courage to ask for the truth and how to act upon it. Change is a choice!
Once in place, your new beliefs and attitude will unconsciously attract the people and circumstances that bring positive relationships and a more joyful life. If you don't believe me, look around at socially successful people. What qualities do they all have? They speak and move with confidence. They believe in themselves. You can, too!
Author Jane Kennedy is a Life & Relationship Coach. Have questions or need help? www.tworoadslifecoaching.com Jane's door to life enhancement is always open. Drop in for chat!