Do You Talk Down To Yourself?

bad thoughts

**Don't miss your chance to chat with Ronda on the YourTango Facebook page this Thursday, November 17th at 2pm ET! RSVP HERE!**

"How could you be so stupid? You look horrible, you fat cow! Who would want to go out with you? and Looks like you've done it again — scared off another one ..."

Can you imagine someone saying these nasty things to you? What would you do if someone spoke to you like this? If it was another person saying these things to you, it is very likely you would not stand for it (if you would, well, that's another article). But it's not another person — it's you.

Yep, start paying attention and you will notice how you talk to yourself ... and believe me it's not pretty. 99.9% of us wouldn't dream of speaking to another person the way that we talk to ourselves. Is This You? 10 Personality Types Who Struggle To Find True Love

This is what I call friendly fire. In the military, when a soldier is shot by one of our own it is referred to as friendly fire. Generally it is accidental. With our own friendly fire, it is deliberate and painful. It is what many refer to as negative self-talk or your inner dialogue — your inner dialogue gone rogue. It's that little voice in your head that is always on, running it's mouth so to speak.

Where does this voice come from anyway? Some call it your inner critic. I call her the mean girl. She's vicious & cruel and abusive. She doesn't ever acknowledge me for all of the good I do in the world or for my successes but you can bet she's there waiting to jump in and hit me when I'm down.

So, whose voice is that anyway?

See we don't come out of the womb prepared to critique and criticize ourselves. No, we learn it or take it on from what others have said to us. Is it your mother, the bully from 6th grade, or your ex? Are You In A Relationship With A Bully?

For most of us, it's more likely a team of people that have taken up residence in our head. Depending on the situation, the player that can cause the most damage is sent in. When that hot guy that just moved in to 4B doesn't call our ex chimes in and says, "I told you no one else would want you." Get passed up for a promotion and your college professor gives you an, "I knew you wouldn't amount to anything." You've always got someone waiting in the wings to land just the right low blow. 

If these are the types of internal conversations that keep us from being the best possible us and therefore keep us from our best possible relationships, we teach people how to treat us by how we treat oursleves. The foundation of any great relationship is grounded in a great relationship with yourself. Would you stand by and let someone else be treated like this? Nope. You wouldn't. You can't love another or receive love from another if you do not truly love yourself. Be loving to YOU today!