5 Things Men Think About Every Time They Meet A Woman

Want to be more than a hookup? You need to know this.

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So much of our date preparation is spent on the way we appear on the outside.

We believe that the majority of what a man is thinking on a date is about our appearance...

...but what if guys are thinking about a lot more than just how we look?

Because I was so curious what guys REALLY think about women on a date, I interviewed 3 former eligible bachelors who recently got married.

I found their answers much more astute than most women give men credit for. 


Men, especially those past 30 years old and open to getting married, actually think and analyze a lot when they are first getting to know a woman.

They just might not be sitting around with their guy friends for hours talking about the women in their lives and what makes a man attracted to a woman.

But they are still spending energy and time thinking about it.

Here are the 5 things they are thinking, in the order to which they tend to appear in his head, according to my very honest sources:

1. Would I want to sleep with her?

It is pure animal instinct.

The first thoughts that appear in a man’s head when they meet a woman, any women, is:


Would I want to sleep with her?

To most men, that answer is “yes” for the majority of women that are within the age range whereby they can’t be his mother, grandmother or daughter.

Then comes the imagination:

When will she sleep with me?

What will it take for her to sleep with me?

How will sex be with her?

Will I be able to please her?

Hot Tip: The men I talked to admitted that most men, especially when presented with a “sure thing” or when they are feeling sexually deprived, will sleep with anyone.

It could mean absolutely nothing that you had sex, even great sex.

Sex and relationships are two separate things in a man’s head.

You can have the most mind-blowing sex, yet he can still have no intentions of ever marrying you.


So you might want to leave a little mystery in the beginning.

What he needs is to feel the potential of great sex with you, and that is more about him feeling that you love and enjoy sex — as opposed to knowing the karma sutra.

2. Is she healthy?

It is a biological instinct.

Back in the old days, good health was the key indicator of who survives and passes down their genes, versus dying off.

We are evolutionarily programmed to find people who are healthy to be more attractive.

Plus, from a practical perspective, healthy people tend to be happier and spend less on medical care.

Many of the superficial things we think men judge us by are actually signs of health.


Here are the things he assesses subconsciously to see if you are healthy:

Does she have good skin?

Does she have luscious hair?

Is her breath ok?

How does she move?

Hot Tip: Have you seen those women who have a spring in their step?

They may not be supermodels, but they are attractive and that is the allure of a healthy person.

Being radiantly healthy is one of the most beneficial things you can do for your love life.  

3. Does she have the kind of personality I like?

It’s all about compatibility.

We are all attracted to different types of personality.

Some men like women who are more outgoing, assertive, clever, and sassy. While others like women who are sweet, introverted, nurturing and emotionally expressive.


There is no right or wrong personality, only what is authentically you and what he finds compatible with him.

There are, however, some common questions he asks himself about your personality: 

How happy is she?

What does she need to be happy?

Can I make her happy?

Is she content with life?

Does she have her shit together?

Hot Tip: According to my sources, guys need to feel that they can make you happy.

Magically, the more success he has in making you genuinely happy, the more attractive he will find you.

Allude to the things you love to do that make you happy and be truly happy doing them when he provides it to you.

4. Will she feed my ego, and make me look good?


It’s about his brand.

Highly successful eligible men tend to have a persona or personal brand they portray to the outside world.

When looking for a wife, he is looking for someone who fits the image he would like to portray.

Similar to personality preferences, different men have differing images of themselves, thus are looking for different types of women.

Some men want trophy wives, some want partners in life, and others want domestic Goddesses.

The common questions they ask themselves are:

What would people think of me for being with her?

Will she embarrass me?

Will she make me look good?

Does she take good care of herself?

Hot Tip: Being the best version of yourself will help you attract the best men.


There are two parts to how you come across, the external (looks), and the internal  (personality).

For the external, make sure you feel good about the way you look, move and what you’re wearing. 

For the internal, the key is to understand your own brand and how you come across and embrace it.

To find out what makes you uniquely fascinating, take the New York Times best-seller, The Fascination Advantage, personality test. Or get to know yourself by taking other personality and quirky tests

5. Does she have strong maternal traits?

It’s about his future.

This is particularly true for men who are looking to build a family and have kids.

For them, they are picking the mother of their future children.


They have imagined the way the mother of their children will be like and are looking for someone who can fulfill that.

Here are the questions they ask:

How does she treat other people?

Would she be a good mother?

What type of mother would she be?

Can she be nurturing?

Hot Tip: There is a difference between trying to be his mother (and being overbearing) versus possessing the warmth and kindness that is often associated with a good motherly figure.

Show him your feminine side by being kind and warm to other people. 

Now that you know what he is thinking, DO NOT fall into the trap of over-thinking everything you do or say. View this knowledge as a tool to help guide you be the best version of yourself, and feel more comfortable with the uncertainty of dating.


The more knowledgeable you are about the way men work, the more at ease you will be with the dating process, which will make you more successful in finding the perfect husband. You can do it!

Jasmine Von Hatch is a dating and relationship coach.