Photo: getty
Prove how much he means to you.
By Felicia Taghizdeh — Written on Jun 28, 2020
I like to think that I'm an optimist. Most of the time, my first reaction is to assume that things will work out in the end — even if I'm not sure how.
One challenge that I've faced in my 13-year marriage is that I think my husband tends to be more of a pessimist, especially when challenges come up at work.
The good news is that there is an easy way for me (and you) to make your significant other happier. A 2013 study found that one-third of people would feel more optimistic about life if their partners showed them more commitment.
Really? Just show my partner that I'm committed to him and the relationship and, voilà, optimism increases? Done.
If you want to demonstrate your commitment to your partner, here's how to show your love.
In addition to making your partner happier, you will feel happier as well!
1. Don't threaten to leave.
This may seem self-evident, but nothing shows a lack of commitment like talking about bailing.
We've all been there — the argument gets heated and it's the same argument you've had a thousand times. Your mind starts to think, "My life would be so much easier if I were gone."
While it's completely normal to have these thoughts, sharing them out loud (or even subconsciously) does nothing for the level of commitment your partner feels from you. So, the next time you have thoughts about leaving, keep them to yourself.
2. Make long-term plans together.
Take some time with your partner to develop plans for the future. Plan a vacation, talk about buying a house, share dreams about what you're going to do when you retire.
Yes, it seems far away, but that's the point! You want your partner to know you are in it for the long-haul, so let them know that you are thinking about your future together.
3. Touch your partner.
Nothing communicates support like physical intimacy.
By touching your partner — a hug while they are cooking dinner, an unexpected kiss — you reinforce your commitment to them. And casual touching can convey commitment even more than sex because it shows a level of familiarity and ease that is hard to find outside of a long-term relationship.
4. Speak his love language.
Does your partner appreciate it when you make his favorite dinner? Does he love it when you bring lunch? Does praise make him beam?
When you communicate your love in a way that is meaningful to your partner, it shows your commitment. You have taken the time to understand what makes him tick and they know that you will be by his side through thick and thin.
5. Relive your history.
One of the great things about a relationship is the shared history that you have with your partner.
A fun way to demonstrate your commitment is to relive that history. Plan a picnic to the spot where he proposed. Go out to dinner at the restaurant where you first kissed. Rent the movie you watched when you first held hands.
Revisiting these shared moments strengthens your bond and shows your partner that you are committed to keeping the love alive.
6. Get creative.
Everyone loves physical reminders of why they are valued.
Write a poem about your partner's best qualities. Make him a mix of all his favorite 80s songs. Give a photo book with pictures of your love over the years.
These tangible reminders of the times you've been together not only send a strong message of commitment — they can be fun to make, too!
7. Give a gift of meaning.
It can be hard to give a meaningful gift when you don't know someone very well.
One of the bonuses of being in a committed relationship is that you know your partner better than almost anyone. Use that knowledge to do a little insider trading.
Does your partner love listening to music? Get him a shower speaker. Does he like gardening? Then how about getting one of his favorite plants?
Giving meaningful gifts lets your partner know that not only do you know him, but you are committed to getting to know him more.
8. Be his champion.
When your partner is feeling down, he doesn't need you rubbing his face in the dirt.
You are the one, maybe the only one, he can turn to. Showing that you support him even when he is wrong is an incredible demonstration of your intention to stay by his side, no matter what.
9. Listen more to how he feels.
In this day and age, hardly anyone listens anymore. We are all so busy planning what we will say next that we don’t really hear what the other person is saying.
If you take the time to truly listen to your partner without planning your response, your partner will feel like you understand them in a way that no one else does. And that's a great recipe for happiness.
10. Follow through with your commitments.
One of the best ways to show you are committed is to follow through.
If you tell your partner that you are going to take care of the taxes, then he will trust and rely on you. When you follow through with these commitments, it shows your partner that you value him — and the relationship — above everything else.
More for You:
Felicia Taghizdeh is a family coach who specializes in career, control issues, family support, and parenting. Follow her on Twitter for more.